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#252028 - 09/30/08 01:34 AM Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 856
Loc: washington
I am not unique. I am an alcoholic, struggling w/CSA issues.


One of the ways I used to cope, is by stuffing my feelings. I've done this for a long time, to the point I wasn't sure I even had feelings anymore. (outside of anger).

Now that I'm clean and sober, it's like... How do I handle these feelings. For example, I don't know what to do with fear, but have figured out courage beats fear. End of discussion? Wha...I dunno beyond that. (off topic anyway).


Ok. On with my next question, I might ask a sex therapist, if I could find one around here:


What do I do with these Dominant, submissive, masculine and feminine feelings?


How about why? Is this obvious? Is there anything to be learned?

How about a book...on why (NOT HOW) simply why?


I can't see it, smell it, touch it... (These feelings)...so foriegn and surreal.

Feelings are just plain weird and confusing. (I just don't understand/get it).


It's like blurry fog. (Can't describe it better/beyond that)

Does anyone else have, these feelings, this way? Does anyone have any input or insight?



looking for answers,


island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#252031 - 09/30/08 02:07 AM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: 1islandboy]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
Uh, I get the "feelings' I have not done them... but yes..
I think that God is the answer.. I have coped much better with life ever since I began to grow closer to God.




Edited by Marinan (09/30/08 01:26 PM)

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#252044 - 09/30/08 06:49 AM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: Marinan]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
island,

I know I've been there and still have issues around this. CSA scrambles your sexuality and you have to weed out what you are from what is an acting out from the CSA or reenacting the CSA. This has been very hard for me. I'm still struggling st times. What I found to help was to talk about it with my T and others to get different views to help me see it in different ways. Wish I had better answers for you...

Peace and love...

Michael


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#252062 - 09/30/08 09:53 AM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: M3]
Me2 Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/28/08
Posts: 22
Loc: USA
M3,

Thanks for your response. I knew I was acting out because of the CSA, but I had not considered that some of it could be the "true" me, the CSA itself (reenacting). Hmmm. And, I have to work to sort it out...

Very helpful!

Me2

_________________________
WOR Alum Dahlonega & Alta 08

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#252084 - 09/30/08 12:26 PM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: Me2]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Yeah, that is tough. It takes time and healing in other areas to see things more clearly. Be patient with yourself and the understanding will come.

Peace and love...

Michael


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#252090 - 09/30/08 01:01 PM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: M3]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Quote:
Feelings are just plain weird and confusing. (I just don't understand/get it).


I found that as I moved farther along the emotions and feelings that started to appear almost felt like something was wrong with me. They felt so foriegn at times I thought it was anxiety that I was feeling. As time went on though I've gotten much more used to feelings and by identifying what I'm feeling at the time the intensity of them has diminished. Guess now I'm just being a feeling person \:\)

Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#252093 - 09/30/08 01:12 PM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: mogigo]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Nice point Mike.

Quote:
Guess now I'm just being a feeling person

And this is something that is scary for many of us because so many of our feelings in the past were negative and dangerous. Having positive feelings and all of these new emotions and feelings can be very strange and alien to our brain and body. There is an education your body must go through to understand these new feelings.

Michael


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#252505 - 10/01/08 10:42 PM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: M3]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
sooooooooooo TRUE, Michael. SOOOOOOO true.

I am still so novice at some of theses NEW emotions and feelings. ometimes, no wait, usually frightened at first, then confused and bewildered.

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#252613 - 10/02/08 03:52 PM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: Logan]
sunwolf Offline


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 225
Loc: Indiana
i have somilar emotions and feelings ..i am submissive and have a lot of feminine feelings...


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#260429 - 11/07/08 02:02 PM Re: Feeling:Dom /Sub/ Masc/Fem [Re: sunwolf]
88SEAN88 Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/23/07
Posts: 19
Loc: queensland, australia
,,,



Edited by 88SEAN88 (05/10/09 10:14 PM)
_________________________
...

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