Hi again Lewis.
You got me thinking. Whenever you (or anyone) writes to your little-self, I notice that I'm not one to ever do that. Is that because we're just different? I don't know. In fact, I seem to think in opposite extremes.
Sometimes I feel like saying "Drop this inner-child down a well"............. lol, is that bad?
Lewis? Do you really FEEL what you're saying here in this post? Or are you trying to grind it into your brain that this is what you deserve/deserved, but don't yet FEEL it? Where ARE you emotionally right now when you think about yourself at such a young age?
i think i do believe all of that, i do, yes, as me now i think i believe it both on an intellectual and an emotional level, but when i think back and with all of those intense feelings and unanswered questions that made me feel so bad about myself and alone and worthless then that part of myself, back then, didn't believe the things i believe now, and that is still part of me, those unprocessed unresolved things, and nobody told me those things then and so i have to say it now. Yes the hurt that i felt then doesn't just go away because i am older and that is why i like to speak to myself through this idea of talking to little me, because beyond the reason of my older brain, that deeper and hurting part of me needs to be reached and given the answers that i was never given, told the things that i wanted to be told. Otherwise i will always feel myself sinking into my bed at night frightened and worthless.
I'm not sure why you don't like to connect to your younger self, but i think that that is an important realisation that you just made, maybe you should think about the reasons why you don't want to talk to that part of yourself, maybe you still hold guilt or shame or something.