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#25134 - 11/28/02 12:21 PM Been waiting for this moment all my life
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
"Been waiting for this moment all my life"

I still find it hard to believe but the church did the right thing and opened up to all the other victims of Father Patrick J Ryan the most beloved person in Hastings from 1946 to his death in 1965. Yes little did they know what evil there was with in this man. Father Ryan had a 15-year rein of terror on the altar boys of the parish.

At the meeting on Nov 14 the church spoke about the history of sexual abuse in Hastings up to that time, 2 different priests in the 90,s that had abused boys. "There are two new allegations that we come here to talk about tonight. One involves Father Ferguson and the other dates to 1961 and involves Father Ryan." Said Father Kevin from the Archdiocese. At that moment I saw 3 or 4 heads drop that was the last name the old timers in the church wanted to hear. Being labeled a sexual perpetrator had just killed their beloved Saint Patty OíRyan.

I was surprised by the fact that a victim had come forward already on Father Freg who was Father Ryanís partner in crime. Iíve been waiting for this moment all my life, now the world knows the truth about what went on at Guardian Angles Parish. No one would listen to me 41 years ago but now it is all out. I had some information about the Male Survivors web site and shopping for a T, also a brochure about a local support group we are trying to get started. I put the material on a table in the lobby after the meeting and watched as the men leaving picked it up. So often I talked about the other victims but now they where real people.

I have had a hard time dealing with this event these last two weeks. There is joy in the fact that 13 victims can begin their lives as survivors but much anger in the fact that it took 41 years to get the help we needed. Why didnít I go to the police after the church board told me they didnít believe my story. Why would no one help. You canít abuse boys for 15 years without some audits knowing what was going on. I worked out the issues with my T these last two weeks and realize that I was just a 11 year old boy and did what I could to stop the EVIL.

Thanks for all the help you guys have given me. Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#25135 - 11/28/02 01:32 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
andrew-almost52 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 243
Loc: canada
What a water-shed moment for you Muldoon! And the other survivors. Let's hope you all find your collective or individual paths towards recovery. 41 years is a long time to be waiting for acknowledgement of your pain, and their responsibility for it. Perhaps legal recourse might be one of the reasonable options open to you and your road to recovery. Regardless, their admission of what happened signals a clearer road ahead for you.


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#25136 - 11/28/02 01:36 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Muldoon
I have just experienced so many emotions from your post, from flat out rage to the joy that people like us are being believed.

What you guys must be feeling I can't begin to imagine.

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#25137 - 11/28/02 01:43 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Muldoon,

Every time I hear of a predator priest there is pain for me. But the pain is quickly brought to joy when I hear that he has been exposed, his crimes have been recognized and hopefully healing can begin.

I am not sure how the healing begins. The Boys Scouts have admitted to lots of sexual abuse. But it doesn't do a thing for me.

Still, I hope that this can be of some help to you and the kids these wretched perverts harmed.
I can't help but worry that it continues and that their are kids that new to expose their violaters--but they won.t I know that if I had a son, grandson, nephew, friend whaterver who is around a priest I would grill them on what goes on. AND I would tell the rpiest I am doing that.

It hurts to write that since I am a priest. But I am also a survivor, and the horro on abuse has to stop as far as it is possible to stop sometinhg that seems to have been around since ancient times.

Good for you Muldoon. Let's pray that as adults com forth the kids being used today can also come forth.

Peace to you brother.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#25138 - 11/28/02 04:36 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
Roy Offline
Member

Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 184
Loc: Los Angeles
That is wonderful news to hear Muldoon. Good for you!. Thanks you for having the emotional stamina to see this matter through to conclusion. You have truly persevered, and think of the boys who will be saved from future abuse due largely to your efforts. You have almost certainly saved some young lives. Happy Thanksgiving. This is truly something to be grateful for.


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#25139 - 11/28/02 08:09 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
Gary - CDN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 28
Loc: Hamilton, Ontario Canada
I've got to agree with Lloydy on this one. It brought a few tears to my eyes but also a warm feeling knowing that yourself and the others are on the path to recovery.

I know what you went through with this Muldoon and the brave and courageous steps you have taken.

Keep up the work and good luck with the support group.

Always keeping a good thought,

Gary


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#25140 - 11/28/02 08:45 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Muldoon:

I can only imagine the agony you've gone thru from what I've heard & felt of your experiences as you've shared them here.

What a blessing for this holiday seasons & vindication for your life! A true occasion for Thanks-Giving (at last), an early Christmas gift (except you had to work so long & hard for it!), and a great way to go into a New Year! I am relieved & rejoicing with you and all of the other survivor brothers who have at least & at last been acknowledged & vindicated in some way!

Muldoon, you are truly amazing! Thru all your pain, there you are putting out literature & help, lifelines, for your fellow male survivors there! You are the man!

I'm so glad that thru therapy you've come to know that you did all an 11 year old could have done and nothing that these predators did to you or anyone else was in any way ever your fault! That's a hell of a burden to have to carry so many years. Now you know all the burden is where it really always was--on them! And that includes all the other adults who covered up for them. In my book they are abusers & I hope they get what they seserve as well.

I relate to Bob in that predatory priests & ministers & church leaders cause particular pain for me, both becuz of my upbringing and becuz I myself have been active in the ministry of the church for so many of my adult years (less now that I'm on disability, but I do what I can).

But like Bob my pain is that these wolves in sheeps clothing exist, not that their fake wool is ripped off nor that they get what they deserve!
I still have faith in God, but my faith in or hope for the Church is only recently being restored. The caging of such wolves helps!

What helps even more is to see the uncaging, the freedom, you & other male survivors gain as a result!

Muldoon, given how you've dealt with this, I'm confident that you will take the pain & anger that remain & use it as motivation for bettering your life & that of your fellow male survivors. I wish you all well in starting your new group. I hope you'll let us know how its going. Enuf of this kind of inspiration & maybe I'll get up the nerve to start one here...

Take care my friend

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#25141 - 12/01/02 03:13 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Thanks for all your words; they helped me a lot. I wish all churchís handled the old sexual abuse cases like the Archdiocese of St. Paul. They never ran from it, they have been paying for my T and now they have reached out to the other victims so they can begin their healing. Also I forgot to tell you, there are 3 other parishes in the Archdiocese that are going through the Truth and Healing process at this time. Three other brave victims have come forward to get the healing started for the others victims in their communityís. We may have over 50 new survivors in the Archdiocese of St. Paul within the next few months.

Deans QUOTE] I am not sure how the healing begins. The Boys Scouts have admitted to lots of sexual abuse. But it doesn't do a thing for me.
[/QUOTE]
Bob I know what you mean, they will listen but do nothing to help. Thatís the way the Archdiocese was towards me in 1973 when I went to them for help at the age of 23. They just want you to go away. This time it was different and they want to help. I have made great progress this last 6 months of weekly sessions with my T and am just starting to have a little control over the effects of SA. on my life.

Andrew-almost 52
Truth and Justice. Yes I do want justice but you can never have justice without 1st having the TRUTH. This is stag 1 in my two-part campaign. I hope, during this next year, all the past sins of the church will flow out into the light, so that the TOTAL TRUTH can be known. Once the TRUTH is known JUSTICE will be easy to option. The lay people of the church, not lawyer,Will be the ones who will come forward to demand JUSTICE for ALL
Lawyers have been part of the problem, they have let victims take money but force them to remain silent..
Wuamei
Quote:
Muldoon, given how you've dealt with this, I'm confident that you will take the pain & anger that remain & use it as motivation for bettering your life & that of your fellow male survivors.
I think this is what my wife fears the most,that I will get too involved in helping others. How do I not help, it is healing for me. I just have to keep up on my work at home also.

With 4 different communityís begining their healing in the Archdiocese of St. Paul this is truly an new time for hope in our battle with SA.
Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#25142 - 12/01/02 05:28 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
orodo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/02
Posts: 735
Loc: Imladris, The Safe Haven of Ar...
(((Muldoon))) That's all I can say for now...

_________________________
It is better to be Dragon Master than Dragon Slayer. Some Dragons are meant to be mastered, others meant to be slain. Odin, Great Spirit, God, grant me the wisdom to know the difference. "May the Valar guide and bless you on your path under the sky"

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#25143 - 12/01/02 07:02 PM Re: Been waiting for this moment all my life
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Muldoon:

"I think this is what my wife fears the most,that I will get too involved in helping others. How do I not help, it is healing for me. I just have to keep up on my work at home also."

I relate. This is a concern of my wife as well. Gradually she is becoming more excited about the idea & wants me to do it. But only if I still take care of things at home. And really, how else could I do it?

"With 4 different community's begining their healing in the Archdiocese of St. Paul this is truly an new time for hope in our battle with SA."

It is so good to hear some stories that are turning out better, where tho the horror of the abuse is still a painful reality, truth & justice is prevailing & deeper healing can take place. I tire of hearing of the ongoing nightmares of abuse & coverup cycles that only seem to continue even when things begin to come out.

The Archdiocese of St. Paul could serve as a model for the entire church and for all institutions that perpetrate & cover up (which to me is still perpetrating) sexual abuse. Thanks for sharing this.

Take care Muldoon

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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