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#251003 - 09/25/08 03:21 AM .
justmejoey Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 37
.


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#251006 - 09/25/08 07:03 AM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: justmejoey]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Joey,

Welcome to MaleSurvivor. I think you will find that the men here have had very common experiences as you have. Though I'd attempted to heal at about 30, my therapist at the time avoided the topic and I was left to try to deal with it myself until things unraveled. For me, I was just about to turn 41. I found this site and signed up or the Weekend of Recovery put on by MaleSurvivor (it happened to be in Hope Springs which is between Cincinnati and Portsmouth.

The organizer of the Weekends of Recovery is a therapist here in Columbus and I signed him onto my recovery team along with a support network of close friends. Between the Weekend, Therapy and this site, I've come a long way. I hope these resources can benefit you the same way.

As for looking for a therapist, I don't know one off the top of my head, but I do know a therapist and researcher at the VA hospital in Cincinnati. She treats PTSD in veterans and CSA survivors. The VA system treats many male survivors. If you can't be seen there, they should be able to help you find therapists in that area. Additionally, if you are mentioning that you are gay, the local GLBT community center may have a directory of gay and gay friendly businesses that may direct you to a gay therapist. I know that was important to me too.

To make yourself feel more comfortable with the others on this site, I would encourage you to read some of our stories to see our shared past histories of abuse. This will help you feel not so alone in what you are facing, what you are feeling, and what you are about to go through. If your experience is like mine, the men on this site, you will not just see the men here as your brothers in recovery, but you will begin to see the wonderful little boys we all once were, our talents, our personalities, our joys, our pains, and our innocence. The men here have become an important part of my recovery and I'm proud to call them my friends.

Again, Joey, welcome to the site, though I'm sorry that have a need to be here. Here's a hug for (((Joey))) and one for (((little Joey))) too.

Peace and love...

Michael


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#251007 - 09/25/08 07:05 AM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: justmejoey]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
hi joey! welcome to male survivor and congratulations on taking a big step beginning to talk about your experiences.

a great deal of reckoning lies ahead of you. this organization has been an incredible resource of healing for so many of us.

take your time, and participate as you feel comfortable.

we are here to share your story.

welcome to the ms family, and i wish you all the best as you come to terms with the effects of your sexual abuse.

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#251011 - 09/25/08 08:02 AM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: justmejoey]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Welcome Joey,

To make a very long story short, I too was 42 when my world began to crumble and all the lock away memories came flooding back - slowly at first and in bits & pieces, then in a surge. At the time I truly thought that I was losing my mind. Now, eight years later and looking back I realize that as opposed to loosing my mind I was actually on the threshold of gaining my emotional, psychological and spiritual sanity.

Welcome to MS, Joey, take the time to look around and familiarise yourself, get comfortable here and I think you'll find, as many of us have, that MS is like coming home after a far too long trip away from home.

Much to you today,

Joel

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#251012 - 09/25/08 08:15 AM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: joelRT]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Originally Posted By: joelRT
looking back I realize that as opposed to loosing my mind I was actually on the threshold of gaining my emotional, psychological and spiritual sanity.

wow, a glass half full mentality! bring it on baby! there's so much potential in our futures. life is full of promise. even if it is 'only' spent in discovery of our authentic selves, once buried under a pall of suffering and pain. that's a mighty tasty lemonade!

enjoy the opportunity to heal!

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#251033 - 09/25/08 01:14 PM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: Sans Logos]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Has anyone figured out why many of us seem to hit the wall in our 40's and 50's having spent years denying/repressing, whatever that anything bad happened to us? Am I just being sensitive to this age group because I am in it, or does this particular age group have a particular trait about it that makes dealing with our SA so vital right now?

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#251035 - 09/25/08 01:31 PM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: Geeders]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Yep, its called mid-life crisis. Truly, I'm not being glib here. It is a well documented phenomenon and much has been written about it. The long & short of it is that at the mid-life point in our personal evolution (our 40s & 50s) in order to mature into the second half of life we must first resolve whatever conflict and issues that were left in suspension or were left unrecognized during the first half.

Our 40s is the time of life when we look back at where we've come from in order to determine where it is we want to go in the future and it is precisely in that self-examination that crisis stikes.

That's the short version -I hope it helps.

Joel

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#251055 - 09/25/08 03:09 PM . [Re: Sans Logos]
justmejoey Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 37
.


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#251064 - 09/25/08 03:53 PM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: justmejoey]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Quote:
I want so much to be happier with myself.


Joey,

It sounds like you have the right attitude and are ready to dig in for the long road of recovery and we're here to support you all the way!

Michael


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#251135 - 09/25/08 11:09 PM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: M3]
Fissy Tsickens Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/23/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
Hey, Joey.

I just want to say that this is a place where you won't be judged, even by straight men (of which I think I'm one, but not 100% sure). Here you'll find acceptance, understanding and love. God bless.

Peace,

FT

_________________________
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

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#252926 - 10/04/08 01:59 PM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
sunwolf Offline


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 225
Loc: Indiana
Welcome to the board...we feel the same as you do..we are here to help...


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#253028 - 10/05/08 04:47 AM Re: new to this...and unsure [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, joey. Welcome aboard friend, you are in the right place at the right time. I'm 69 yrs young and the old deeply buried memories came back, it's hell for sure, but here you will get understanding, compassion and love from real friends. Please consider me your friend. Heal well.
Pete (irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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