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#250659 - 09/22/08 11:21 PM My story
kutcher Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware
So I was tired of the shame getting in my way so I finally decided to stop waiting to remember it all and all of the occurances and write about the one that seemed to be troubling me. This is the first time I have been able to "talk about the entire event in one sitting".

I have posted in the My Story area where no feedback is allowed but I wanted to solicit feedback by creating this link.

Thanks for any and all comments

Dave

This is reposted from the members area.


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#250664 - 09/22/08 11:42 PM Re: My story [Re: kutcher]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Dave,

That was really horrible of your coach. He should be so ashamed of himself. I'm sorry you had to endure that abuse.

You're not an accomplice in any way, shape or form in this. He talked a child into going into the woods, he molested a child, he verbally abused a child - a child who was too young to understand the world in which the priest lived. Too young to give consent or be expected to say NO!

I mentioned to someone else that what really helped me get over my shame was to find a way to project my inner child onto something easier to connect to. In my case, it was the son of a neighbor. I recognized that I was just as innocent and naive has he is, that he is me at that age in these important ways and I could never blame him if someone did these things to him.

((Dave)) and ((Little Dave))

Peace and love... you have nothing to be ashamed of... be compassionate to yourself....

Michael


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#250665 - 09/22/08 11:48 PM Re: My story [Re: M3]
kutcher Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware
Michael,

Thanks, it is funny up until tonight I realized I was not trying to heal the little boy I was trying to excise him from myself, what a mistake that has been. I am hoping by confronting the shame I may learn to care for the little boy again, I realize now he is a good part of me that just got treated badly.

Thanks for all of your support I always find your messages powerful and helpful.

My honor, respect and love

Dave


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#250669 - 09/23/08 12:06 AM Re: My story [Re: kutcher]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
That's great Dave. (I'm sure Little Dave is cheering too!)

He is such a good part of you, you should learn to cherish him. He's in pain and needs your help. Let me know how this goes for you and I've seen (and posted) lots of ideas on how to connect to your inner child in the last few days, but ask if you need help!

Take care of both of you...

Michael


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#250676 - 09/23/08 12:23 AM Re: My story [Re: M3]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Dave,

Thank you for your boldness and courage to write and share your story. You are in control now. Your perp. is not. What was done to you was truly evil and wrong. I am so very sorry that happened to you. I know that feeling that everyone knows what just happened. I am sure you can hear the words of your perp. make those backhanded "funny" comments just as I can hear my first perp. say similar derogatory things. You are not to blame. Shame has such a powerful grip on us until we recognize that it is truly misplaced. It is an effect of the abuse and can be overcome.

I am glad you are here and I am proud of you for making this bold step in your recovery.

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#250706 - 09/23/08 10:32 AM Re: My story [Re: kutcher]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Congratulations on traversing the threshold into the land of recovery and most especially, welcome Dave!!!

Finally telling - from here true recovery and healing can begin. Just trust your inner child to know how to direct you along the pathway that he needs you to follow for his healing to happen - you'll find, Dave, that both you and he will end up in same good place at the same time.

Joel


_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#250761 - 09/23/08 05:52 PM Re: My story [Re: joelRT]
kutcher Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware
Michael,

Again thanks, I have always found your posts and messages to insightful, helpful and uplifting, I will be seeking out your posts as I work to care and cherish the child.

Again thanks

My honor, respect and love

Dave


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#250763 - 09/23/08 05:56 PM Re: My story [Re: kutcher]
kutcher Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware
Mike,

Thanks for taking the time and care to read and respond. It helps to hear your words and they provide comfort, hope and support, the true of your words are hard to express.

You are right in that I hear his words and up until recently I believed them and I thought the words were coming from somewhere inside of me. Looking at him as a perp is truly powerful and it helps to picture him that way vs. as a figure of power.

Thanks again.

My honor, respect and love

Dave


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#250764 - 09/23/08 05:58 PM Re: My story [Re: kutcher]
kutcher Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware
Joel,

Wow what a thought, your post makes me think of me standing together holding hands with my inner child (the man and the boy) standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon (my safe and special place) enjoying the sunset and smilling and crying at the beuty and peace of it all.

Thanks for the words and the inspiration.

My honor, love and respect

Dave


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#251215 - 09/26/08 10:38 AM Re: My story [Re: kutcher]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home

Congratulations for releasing your past finally, it must be uplifting experience by itself!

I would further recommend, that you add your own response to your story, as someone said, Who'd cry for that little boy?!

Let him hear that you have finally heard him, and are there for him now. Become the angel for him, that you never had!

And then allow that little boy to take by your hand, to your greater destiny; a wonderful journey awaits you, in the years ahead, bon voyage!

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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