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#250657 - 09/22/08 11:17 PM deffintion of me
feelingafraid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 76
Loc: 5,471 FT above sea level
Whore
Slut
worthless
cunt
hole to put it in
toy
play thing
piece of shit
unloved
unloveable
unwanted
useless
hated
nothing

_________________________
Hes a little boy let him be a little boy for the boy we never got to be.
Timmy

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#250667 - 09/22/08 11:53 PM Re: deffintion of me [Re: feelingafraid]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
I once used those words to describe myself and it makes me incredibly sad to see you use those words to describe yourself. I know many of us here on the site would not agree with some of those terms because we've valued your participation on this site.

I would never use any of these terms to describe someone I would like to consider a friend and especially not a brother in recovery. I value you as a person.

Some day, I hope you can change the title to "Definition of You" and mail it to your abuser or anyone who contributed to making your feel this way.

Peace and love ALWAYS...

Michael


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#250681 - 09/23/08 01:23 AM Re: deffintion of me [Re: M3]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
{{{{Toby}}}}}

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I actually think I hear our accuser talking, not you. The people who know you here would likely agree with this alternate list I have come up for you.

You are:

A friend
Loved
Lovable
Worthy
Helpful
Encouraging
Valuable
Intelligent
Wise
Talented
Courageous
Respected
Recovering
Forgiven

Be good to yourself. Little Toby deserves it and needs it.

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#250695 - 09/23/08 07:52 AM Re: deffintion of me [Re: Barkabus]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
Toby,

I agree with Mike. His list fits you so much better than the list you posted. I know sometimes it's hard to see past the negative crap that spews forth, but I could sit here and poke the holes through most of that list one by one. Instead, I'll just tell you that I hope you come back to this post somewhere down the road and see the progress that you made. I hope that I'm around to see it and congratulate you.

And thanks for dragging me into the Poetry Forum. I don't understand 99.44% of it, but I'm here....

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#250707 - 09/23/08 11:09 AM Re: deffintion of me [Re: feelingafraid]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
toby, someone who made all of those things of you did a tragic thing.

you are none of those. and don't just rely on your own conclusions about that because there is a huge consensus of folks here who will say otherwise. sometimes we just have to trust the opinion's of others over our own.

pobody's nerfect. at best we are all a combination of both desirable and undesirable qualities, and life challenges us to acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses and learn to balance those as we learn and grow.

i am glad you made this poem, because some day you will come back to it as a reference point and share experience strength and hope for others who find themselves in this particular place in their recovery.

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#250730 - 09/23/08 02:09 PM Re: deffintion of me [Re: Sans Logos]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
One for Little Toby:

child
innocent
wondering
trusting
curious
playful
laughing
needing
wanting
naive
defenseless
seeking
...
betrayed

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#250734 - 09/23/08 02:19 PM Re: deffintion of me [Re: roadrunner]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Nice Larry...

Toby, how do you describe Little Toby?


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#250765 - 09/23/08 06:43 PM Re: deffintion of me [Re: M3]
feelingafraid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 76
Loc: 5,471 FT above sea level
M3

here is how he sees himself

alone
lost
hurt
afraid
lonely
tiered
scared
unwanted thrown away
broken
toy
used

_________________________
Hes a little boy let him be a little boy for the boy we never got to be.
Timmy

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#250794 - 09/23/08 08:34 PM Re: deffintion of me [Re: feelingafraid]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
But how does the Adult Toby see Little Toby?


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#250843 - 09/24/08 12:41 AM Re: deffintion of me [Re: M3]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi Toby,

Sorry to see you are feeling these things about yourself. It is so hard, I know. For the longest time here, "slut" and "whore" were terms I used for myself. I like Larry's point of word substitutions. Some that come to mind are:

pure
beautiful
a gift
worthy
valued

I hope you can see these traits in yourself, because they are all there.

_________________________
Eddie

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