Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.

HE needs to understand not YOU!!!! no ne has the right to tell you to change...YOU are owner of your body and mind...dont let anyone play wiht your guilt or emotions...what he is doing is terrible ..you are a vicitim of abuse...what he is doing is dangerous to your menatl health...if he does not understand then keep distance form him...he is no9t a good friend...

Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.

That's something that I choose to label a "boundary issue". When someone attempts to "fix" me, or suggests that I in any way need "fixing" because I am bi, they have overstepped a boundary and are trespassing on my right to be who I am.

I don't care if their motivation is religious or what it is, I just won't stand for it.

But confusion is something that seems to come with the territory of being bi. I am bi but not bi. I am bi because I am attracted to both sexes, but I am not bi because I refuse to buy into the idea that I am something because of who I choose to sleep with.

If I AM a bisexual, am I not able to settle on one person because I must be true to this identity that has been assigned to me? Because, say I do decide to settle into a monogamous relationship with someone...would that mean I have then chosen to be gay or straight depending on the gender of the person I am with?

I will not limit my choices based on some sexual identity.
But then again, even as I reject sexual identity labels, I still have to use them. If I am around someone who is gay bashing, I'm going to tell the person I am bi and that I am proud of it.

Then too, I am often forced to choose between the three identities (I consider "transgender" a gender identity not a sexual orientation). In those cases I reluctantly choose the bi identity, but if someone asks me if I am gay,straight or bi, I like to tell them that I don't believe in sexual identities.

Let me correct myself: I really don't think I am confused anymore. I think of it as being the rest of the world that is confused with the whole sexual identity thing.

One more thing I want to add. 4 as long as you question WHY you are bi, or gay, confusion will persist. 4get why. Who cares? If you accept yourself then it doesn't matter. And if you can let go of even the need for a sexual identity and just think of yourself as a person with unlimited options, then the confusion goes away even more.

I really believe all the confusion arises out of this cultural obsession with categorization.

I think it's laughable your suppossed to go to a therapist to lose your homosexuality. Like you accidentally rubbed up against a post and got homosexual on you.

If in a non stressfull enviroment (IF) you want to educate yourself and process (what you are) that's your decision, YOUR DECISION...!!!

HIS religious convictions, are exactly that, HIS.

Your life,your boundaries, your compass...etc

THEIR SHAME...!!!

A big thumbs up on.. how screwed up the society belief system is...!!!


Leader of the Band (Dan Folgelburg)



island

Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.

Dusty,

What ever you do, I would suggest to take your time. Your feelings are very normal to many survivors, including myself. I thought for many, many years that I was suppose to be straight. I had such confusing feelings and emotions. But I convinced myself that they were just that, confusing.

Just recently after asking the "why" questions, regarding my sexuality, have I come to telling myself that I NEED TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF. I am gay, not straight, not bi. I must tell you the feeling inside me was awesome, overwhelming. I no longer am living a lie to myself. You are who you are, who you feel you are.

I hope through your work on you recovery that you will come to terms with your sexuality.

Ken

Dusty42 has deleted this message. I no longer feel safe here.

I do hear you Dusty. I had many many thoughts that I am gay because of my sexual abuse that continued for some 5 years. However in being honest with myself, I am gay because that is just who I am. I was married and had many female relationships through out my years. But I always felt and had thoughts and fantasy's about being with men. So that is where I am today and very happy.

Ken