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#248080 - 09/03/08 09:12 PM Alcohol
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
On Sep 21st, I'll have gone an entire year without drinking a drop of alcohol. I'm happy to say that quitting was merely a matter of choice for me. However, there is another problem that's taken it's place, it's boredom, or lack of fun, or lack of feeling good.

I think that MOST of the allure of my drinking habit was that I FELT GOOD when I sought it's comforting embrace. I always drank alone, and at home. Now, when I come home, I have (seemingly) so little to look forward to. Read a book? Yippie........ Play video games? That gets old fast sometimes when you're sober.

Agghhh!!!! How do I REPLACE it? I need to do something with my life and I don't know what the hell to do with it.


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#248086 - 09/03/08 09:39 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: Hauser]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Why not go gambling??? Or post lots of YouTube videos? You could always watch another WWII movie. I have plenty more if you are done with the other two. Maybe a trip by the Chinese buffet or another restaurant. Maybe go down to the laundry and see if there are any choice ladies hanging around. Get out and watch the sunset or go over by the Broomfield airport and watch the planes land. Golf or putt-putt? Match.com or Classmates.com? Go cruisin' just like we used to on Woodward or Telegraph??? Maybe take an extended tour of Colfax or South Broadway??? Maybe cruise Boulder??? Half-price crab legs and prime rib buffet at the Riviera Casino Monday to Wednesday age 50 and over???

Or stay home and save money for a nice vacation???

Just a few ideas,

Mark

8 years and 9 months clean off of cocaine last Sunday!!!



Edited by Trucker51 (09/03/08 09:39 PM)
_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#248087 - 09/03/08 09:47 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: Trucker51]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Hauser:

Congratulations!!
You could try volunteering with the local children's services. Be a Big Brother to a boy with a single parent or a foster child.


Trucker51:

Amazing! Congratulations!!


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#248089 - 09/03/08 10:07 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: Hauser]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Hauser,

First, I want to congratulate you on the one year mark! Bravo!! I am sure it wasn't as easy as you made it out to be. I am sure it took a lot of hard work, courage and a strong will.

Second, I want to try and reply to your comment about not having fun or being bored frequently. I know that for myself, I feel like I have to learn how to have fun again..it is almost like I am not allowed to have fun anymore. Obviously, that is not true and my mind is playing games with me again. I think that the grieving process that we encounter during healing is very long and very powerful. It is like we go through these various stages and then slowly the fog begins to lift. When it finally does and we can see more clearly, we realize that our lives have been dramatically altered. You begin to realize the things that excited you about life and provided you with pleasure in the past, are now just empty and meaningless things. In many cases it was all superficial and only a diversion. It is like we are awakened emotionally and intellectually...and we have this strong feeling that there is more to life..there was so much time we have been deprived of that we need to make every moment count. There is a strong need to find a sense of purpose in my life.

Maybe you are a similar point in your recovery and life. I know that I what I find pleasure and purpose in now is to help others who are in need. I regularly volunteer with Catholic Charities and with their shelter and transitional housing programs. And starting tomorrow, I am going to be working 1-2 days a week at a new food pantry that was just established in a community by my house. These are the things that make me feel good now..not how many expensive cars you can own, or how big your house is...these are all meaningless. I think as survivors, we do have a special gift in that we know how precious and valuable life really is. There are many people who never really get ot that point in their life. They are fooled to think you find happiness in posessions and money...when in fact you find happines from within.

You just need to try and find a place to channel all that caring you have within you...the feeling of peace and happiness will follow.

Dan


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#248480 - 09/07/08 11:49 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: DanM]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hey Alan,

Congratulations! That's a real achievement and you should be very proud of yourself. I'm sure it wasn't easy, and not just for the task of stopping.

In my case the problem was drugs and what I found especially difficult was trying to redefine myself once I was clean. I had already discovered that if I was going to make this work I had to stay away from the whole scene that had drugs at its center. I had to keep away from people I knew would supply me in a second, from others who would let me think that "just one more time" would be okay, and from broken people like myself who would tolerate me when I was wasted because they were doing the same thing. And on top of that, what was I to do with myself? My whole life had revolved around drugs and ways to get them and people to get high with, and once I was away from all that I felt like a lost soul. Sound familiar?

What I did was to return to old interests of mine and build on them. In my case that meant the blues, poetry, art, reading, and making a genuine commitment to a career I felt was calling me. Not everything I tried worked out, of course. I always sucked as an artist and I still suck - totally! But I still like art and can appreciate it as an observer. But other things really clicked and I still devote a lot of my time to them.

So I would say find some things that have always seemed to interest you or arouse your curiosity and see if you can develop any of those interests. You may feel you are reinventing Alan, but what you will be doing is letting out the real you that was suppressed by drinking. It should be an interesting experience!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#248635 - 09/08/08 12:24 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: roadrunner]
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Alan,

Congratulations on the success. As for how to fill the time in your life, heck, there is lot of things. You could take a class, not for actual school, just for entertainment. You could volunteer. You could pick up a new hobby like photography or some other kind of art. You could join some book or movie club, or some other group of people with like interests. There is a lot of options to fill some of the extra time you'll be having, that will all be much healthier.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#248703 - 09/08/08 08:33 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: Leosha]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 862
Loc: washington
Hauser.

First of all, I would like to say congrats on getting and staying sober.

And so...here we are, on the subject of reinventing oneself. My best advice is to go to your local chamber of congress and figure out what is going on. I don't know about you, but I am the type of person that travels to foreign lands to check out everyone elses cool sights, while being totally oblivious to what is going on around me.

You said when you go home you have little to do\look forward to.
I believe your solution is to focus on getting active active outside of your home.

I have recently joined a club that paddles around the sound (kinda opposite from isolating and drinking).

Alcohol is not my friend and time IS NOT on my side.

I am no longer on the sidelines, my life is not waiting.


I AM IN THE GAME (of life) and wish the same for you...GOOD LUCK...!!! AND SAFE TRAVELS...!!!


island


p.s. How about dancing? or rock climbing?...

or, dancing while rock climbing...



just kidding

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#252826 - 10/03/08 09:19 PM . [Re: 1islandboy]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 06:24 PM)

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#253030 - 10/05/08 05:08 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: bardo213]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2485
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, lynchmob, and fellow recovering alcoholics, I've been sober for 32yrs. I was an alcoholic for 21 years including my time in the military. I was trying to run away from myself, trying to drown that lost boy crying inside. I got into a serious car wreck while stationed on Okinawa. My boy (4) was the reason I got sober. My replacement for the booze/beer was taking care of him. Congratulations on being sober, keep up the good work. Trying to recover from CSA and alcohol at the same time is an awsome task. Wish you all well. Heal well my friends.
Pete (irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#253032 - 10/05/08 06:26 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: Hauser]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Congrats, my good man! Getting that first year under your belt is no small accomplishment, I am so proud for you.

I haven't had a drink in many years now but I can still remember those first TWO years when I would constantly ask my self why had I bothered quitting if life was to be GD boring.

I had lost my sense of humour - nothing was remotely funny - food was bland, I had no interest in a social life, my hobbies bored me and I tired of them quickly, sex? well it was something to do but hardly gratifying.

I could see the rest of my life streching out before me going on in the same manner for ever & ever & ever...

What is that one thing that you always wanted to do but never bothered to try -sky diving? learning to scuba? take up watercolor painting? learn to play the guitar? whatever, whatever, whatever...

Get up off your ass, NOW! Go and do that. Don't think about it or you'll only talk yourself out of it. just GO... your whole life will begin to change from that point on. You'll go from new inspiration to new experience and before you can say:"Holy shit" the fun will have come back into your life. Only this time it will be healthy fun, validating fun.

Isn't the reason that you quit drinking was to have a life that you could live with? Well, go live it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your fellow journeyman
Joel

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#272840 - 01/27/09 07:42 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: Hauser]
davismile Offline


Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 1
Loc: Florida
Well, I had been struggling from alcohol addiction for one year. I went through alcohol de-addiction treatment and have been clean and sober since then. I found a good rehab center by using the services of http://www.recoveryconnection.org/. I'm really happy I did. I knew I couldn't kick the habit by mere determination. The rehab helped me to recover FULLY. They prepared me for the emptiness I would feel after I stopped drinking. I think that you need to seek professional counsel. I'm afraid that if you don't you may slip right back into drinking to fill the void. So seek some help - talk to professional counselors who know about addiction. Try the site I mentioned. I hope that you are able to get some help.

_________________________
I m cool

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#272876 - 01/27/09 11:43 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: davismile]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Davis,

Welcome to M/S.
Congrats on your year of soberity.
I also found AA to be a place to find help and support on the road to recovery from alcoholism and drug addictions.
I found there friends to replace the ones that I had while I was drinking and using. Whom I had leave behind in order to stay sober.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#274679 - 02/10/09 03:05 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: michael banks]
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
What's happenin' bro?

Playing guitar, cruising around, and meditation were my main three. Self-improvement helped me a lot as well. I think I cleared the bookstore out of all the Self Help books they had. The drive to better myself and live a happier, healthier, and more satisfying life helped me to deal with the boredom. I know the boredom and depression hits hard after quitting according to most. I don't try to deny what is, but, I do try to look at the situation in a positive light. A great counselor I knew told me once, "You can have all of the good emotional feelings when sober, that you have when you drink. I try to look at it like, "enjoying life without the hangovers, and loss of money.
Just my little trick.

Good luck. Congrats by the way.
Jason

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#282253 - 04/04/09 06:18 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: joelRT]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Hi. I just wanted to say try and remember the boredom that came with drinking alone compared to what you feel now that you're sober. I'm sure the isolation and frustration still remains but try and think of it as it's not because of the drinking, it was what the drinking was trying cover up. Just my 2 cents JS

_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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