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#247810 - 09/02/08 01:27 AM habits habits whats a boy to do
feelingafraid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 76
Loc: 5,471 FT above sea level




Edited by feelingafraid (11/24/08 06:48 PM)
_________________________
Hes a little boy let him be a little boy for the boy we never got to be.
Timmy

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#247812 - 09/02/08 02:00 AM Re: habits habits whats a boy to do [Re: feelingafraid]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Toby,
My first thought is please don't look at it like it's all-or-nothing; when i've slipped into old negative behaviors before, i made it worse by telling myself that it was hopeless, i was doomed, and i might as well go all-out and fail completely.

As for why this is happening now, it could be that something has surfaced that you aren't allowing yourself to think about consciously, but is pressing the buttons that were attached to those behaviors in the first place. It might also be that you've had an amount of positive self-perception recently that a part of you sees it as false, or believes that you don't really deserve it.
These are just some thoughts, i just wanted to let you know i know what it's like to "ambushed" too..

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#247813 - 09/02/08 02:04 AM Re: habits habits whats a boy to do [Re: feelingafraid]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Snorting what might I inquire? Both coke and meth stimulate the same gland in your brain that nicotine does, and certain anti-depressants could have the same effect snorted. 12 years ago I first heard that coke addicts would have a tough time quitting smoking because of that fact. Do you have any unusual level of stress in your life, financial, employment, etc? Depending on what drugs you are taking there may be a reaction to too much sunlight. And you are outside running around the Denver Metro? It is sunny here almost every day. Where do you run? Is there heavy exposure to carbon monoxide or jet noise?

Slips and relapses are not terribly unusual when trying to quit both legal and illegal negative substances and behaviors. The challenge is to get back on the proverbial wagon before damage is done. Do you go to meetings or have a sponsor? It might be time to give them a call if so.

I'm not big on the 12 steps, but several other of our members are old hands. Pm me and I'll let you know who to ask about it.

Have hope, my man. Recovery is possible.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#247816 - 09/02/08 02:19 AM Re: habits habits whats a boy to do [Re: Trucker51]
feelingafraid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 76
Loc: 5,471 FT above sea level




Edited by feelingafraid (11/24/08 06:50 PM)
_________________________
Hes a little boy let him be a little boy for the boy we never got to be.
Timmy

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#247822 - 09/02/08 03:43 AM Re: habits habits whats a boy to do [Re: feelingafraid]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Toby,

Just keep coming back and being honest about where you are at.
In time you will see what is causing you to act out at this time.
Relapsing is a normal part of recovery. Don't beat yourself up.
You are aware of your behaviors and that's half the battle.
You are not alone.

mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#247876 - 09/02/08 12:22 PM Re: habits habits whats a boy to do [Re: michael banks]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
I have a habit of falling into old patterns when I isolate myself. When I'm not involved with other people or being around other people (even just walking around the park) for extended periods I get bored and that's when the old thoughts and behaviors rear their ugly head. Maybe finding a way to keep busy and avoid being alone and unoccupied for long stretches will help.

Just a thought. It helps me.

Michael


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#247880 - 09/02/08 12:56 PM Re: habits habits whats a boy to do [Re: M3]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I would guess that breaking-up and snorting either or both of these drugs could be part of the problem as they most likely are designed as time-release drugs. Snorting them would intensify, then shorten, the stimulating effect, which might lead to over-stimulating the same gland that nicotine stimulates. It would also lead to a high followed by a crash which would then lead to a craving. That is where nicotine comes in. Are you increasing your daily dosage of either of these drugs through snorting them?
Cigarettes are really tough to get off of especially once you re-start a long-dormant habit. Do you notice the craving to smoke intensifing a couple or a few hours after snorting these drugs?

This is my guess. I would say that you should get confirmation of this theory from a medical professional. There may be some of our members here who would be more academically medically savy than I am. I have a fair amount of experience in addiction to stimulating drugs though.

Is this behavior or older behaviors causing you to isolate too?

Just my theory.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#247908 - 09/02/08 05:44 PM Re: habits habits whats a boy to do [Re: Trucker51]
feelingafraid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 76
Loc: 5,471 FT above sea level




Edited by feelingafraid (11/24/08 06:51 PM)
_________________________
Hes a little boy let him be a little boy for the boy we never got to be.
Timmy

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