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#247734 - 09/01/08 03:28 PM Back at Step 1
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
One of the things I have learned in SIA is that we have to revisit the Steps we thought we had mastered, because we never truly do it always. And to remember where we came from.

I had forgotten the unsaid part of Step 1. That we were powerless over the lens we view life from. The lens coloured by our own abuse.

Step 1:

We admitted we were powerless over the abuse, the effects of the abuse, and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Today I am back on Step 1. Because I have to realize I cannot save everyone. And that I have viewed the abuse of others as an assault on myself.

The only one I can truly save is myself. I can only offer help to others. And that is so very hard when you want to hold the boy that was violated and brush away his tears, just as I wish someone had done for me.

I think I will be back on Step 1 for awhile.

Paul

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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#247754 - 09/01/08 05:16 PM Re: Back at Step 1 [Re: Tinman]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Paul,

I was taught in AA that the first three steps.
Our ones that I will need to work in my life everyday for the rest of my life.
We are truely powerless over life and what happens.
We can only control our reactions to what happens.
I love the steps they are truely a path to freedom and you never really stop learning from them.
I for one am really glad to see you back!!

Your Friend,
mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#247759 - 09/01/08 05:56 PM Re: Back at Step 1 [Re: michael banks]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Originally Posted By: Tinman
Today I am back on Step 1. Because I have to realize I cannot save everyone. And that I have viewed the abuse of others as an assault on myself.


That is a lesson we all must be cognizant of. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that the support I give to others is a gift and that I should not expect healing on my part when I give to others. Though I may grow and heal from the experience, the gift is for them, not for me.

Peace and love ((Paul)),

Michael


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#247821 - 09/02/08 03:38 AM Re: Back at Step 1 [Re: M3]
InjunE Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/01
Posts: 89
Loc: Ohio
If I mean no disrespect, but is there a list of these steps? If I ask in error, please excuse me.

_________________________
Without my sons, I would not be here.

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#247824 - 09/02/08 06:30 AM Re: Back at Step 1 [Re: InjunE]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
ADAPTED 12 STEPS of SIA

1. We admitted we were powerless over the abuse, the effects of the abuse and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a loving Higher Power, greater than ourselves, could restore hope, healing and sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a loving Higher Power, as we understood Her/Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, the abuse, and its effects on our lives. We have no more secrets.

5. Admitted to a loving Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being our strengths and weaknesses.

6. Were entirely ready to have a loving Higher Power help us remove all the debilitating consequences of the abuse and became willing to treat ourselves with respect, compassion and acceptance.

7. Humbly and honestly asked a loving Higher Power to remove the unhealthy and self-defeating consequences stemming from the abuse.

8. Made a list of all the people we may have harmed (of our own free will), especially ourselves and our inner child, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would result in physical, mental, emotional or spiritual harm to ourselves or others.

10. Continued to take responsibility for our own recovery and when we found ourselves behaving in patterns still dictated by the abuse, promptly admitted it. When we succeed, we promptly enjoy it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with ourselves and a loving Higher Power as we understood Her/Him, asking only for knowledge of Her/ His will for us and the power and courage to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other survivors and practice these principles in all our endeavors.

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#247893 - 09/02/08 02:40 PM Re: Back at Step 1 [Re: Sans Logos]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
My issues are just fine.

How could I feel any other way.

If that tall sauve goodlooking guy who act's so confident had had my upbringing then he also would be reacting the exact same way I do.

I'm normal, considering my past.

I'm reacting the exact same way anyone who had my past would.

I'm human and I'm soooooo normal

What I do is what any "HUMAN" would do if they were abused

"MY ISSUES ARE JUST FINE"

yes they are Brother's



The most human, the most normal, the most sanest person, would react exactly like you do if they had you're past.

How could you feel any other way????????


Stay strong
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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