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#247681 - 09/01/08 09:47 AM Self Esteem Rising
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
No porn, and the guilt/shame is gone. I feel like I can function without all the cloudy negative thoughts controlling my life. I am enjoying life and all it has to offer; I am not caught in the web of deception that porn brings with it.

I wish I could convey how good it feels to no longer be a slave to something, how good it feels knowing I don't have to spend endless hours in front of a computer screen to drown my anxiety. I no longer have to find that one mpeg or jpeg that will do it for me. I don't have to wish my family would just spend one more hour shopping so I can have more time with porn. I don't have to search for something crazier than the last session of porn, I don't have to hate myself for what I am doing.


I am not trying to sell you anything, I am not trying to tell you what to do. No one could have told me porn was destroying my life, only I could come to that conclusion. I just want to tell you how much better it feels.

Now that I am free from the strangle hold of porn I see what I had lost.

I lost:

Self Esteem.
Love for life/family, my self.
Motivation to participate in normal every day activities.
Love of the simple things in life.
Respect for myself.
Freedom.
My sanity.
My ability to be around strangers, co-workers, family, (I thought "If they only knew what I looked at last night (porn) they would drop dead."


These things are coming back and it feels great. I had no idea porn was killing me, my mind, numbing my emotions and my relationship with my wife and children.

Sorry for the double porn post but my God it is so profound, it was ruling my life.

I hope you guys understand, I used for 30 years, I am not trying to tell you to stop, just saying what stopping has done for me.

Love you guys,

John Oarc

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#247683 - 09/01/08 10:14 AM Re: Self Esteem Rising [Re: John Oarc]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i can relate to your success john! thanks for sharing it here and for giving us verification that we are not just making up our recovery as we go along.

the life change occurs at the point we decide to stop investing in the lies that we have bought into all along.

the truth shall set you free! amen!

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#247712 - 09/01/08 01:10 PM Re: Self Esteem Rising [Re: Sans Logos]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
John,

Your exhilaration in your recovery comes through loud and clear. Congratulations for reclaiming your life!

Hang tough, we're here to support you!

Michael


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#247801 - 09/01/08 11:31 PM Re: Self Esteem Rising [Re: M3]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
John,

Thank You for your posts.
You help me to see that I am not the only one trying to overcome a addiction to porn.
You show me that there can be success on this issue.

mike





_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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