It puts you somewhere earlier in recovery before the point where you eventually accept, forget, or forgive your abusers. It isn't an especially bad place to be, because you are committed to your recovery and you have already reached-out for help. Plus you have all of the guys on the site here to offer their support. Just stay clean and stay committed to your recovery, and you will eventually find your freedom from your past, and will become much more optimistic about your future.
Have hope, recovery is possible.
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark