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#247379 - 08/30/08 03:55 AM I HATE LABOR DAY
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
In 1977 I was raped on labor day weekend.

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#247391 - 08/30/08 08:26 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: OKIE MIKE]
conflicted Offline


Registered: 08/02/08
Posts: 45
Loc: Greenville, SC
Michael,

how old were you? old enough to remember the event and associate the holiday with it... so very sorry for your pain. It is bad enough to remember, but have it reoccur each day by a holiday is much more painful.

need someone to talk to... i am here.

bill

_________________________
Masquerades are a lot of fun, until you see it is really your life.


my story...finally out *triggers*

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#247396 - 08/30/08 09:30 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: conflicted]
kutcher Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware
Michael,

I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for you. I have just recently begun to remember what happened to me, it is still not all clear, and my birthday is just days away, I have not desire to celibrate.

So my heart goes out to you and I will be thinking of you this weekend and hoping you can find some peace in a future labor day.

Dave


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#247422 - 08/30/08 10:56 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: kutcher]
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
((((((Michael)))) \:\(


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#247424 - 08/30/08 10:58 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: FLRich]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Sorry this holiday carries this bad reminder, Michael. I hope you get to a point some day where you're at peace on this holiday.

_________________________
Eddie

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#247429 - 08/30/08 11:24 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: EGL]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
I don't mean to hijack the thread, but until a few years ago Christmas was very depressing for me.

Allen

pufferfish


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#247446 - 08/30/08 01:50 PM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: pufferfish]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Michael:

All of my different incidents spanned the entire year, but I suppose that more than half occurred between late Spring and early Fall. The most abusive single incident was in September, though I don't know an exact date other than 1975, and my 2nd most abusive series of incidents was either in late January or early February. My 3rd and 4th most abusive series of incidents occurred all during the year, whenever these two perps babysat. My first attempt at disclosure at age 15 and its violent consequences happened in the 3rd week of August, which followed my most abusive incident at the hands of either of my babysitters by 3 weeks. I turned age 15 between the two. While I have never really connected any particular time of year to my abuse and possible felings of sadness or extra stress, though if I had to I would pick the three months from mid-June to mid-September as having the most negative effect in my life.

Sorry to hear about your level of dread of the Labor Day holiday. As you continue to progress and begin to shift your focus away from your past fears, toward optimism for your future unhindered by your past, I hope that this dread of a certain time of year will begin to affect you less and less.

Have hope, recovery is possible.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#247447 - 08/30/08 01:51 PM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: pufferfish]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK

I was 18. And in the US Army at Fort Hood TX. Yes I know who did this . I thought he was dead . But he is not listed in the "Social Security Death Index" . The Military / VA has refused to coroprate in finding this SOB.

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#247460 - 08/30/08 02:51 PM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I too was 18 in September of 1975. It was a month after my birthday. I was hitchhiking home from my job at the bowling alley. I was a big and tough kid back then at 6'4" and 175 lbs but at the point of a gun my size didn't seem to matter. My story is on the story board in 2 parts. You are welcome to read it. The only thing that I ever knew about my assailant was the street that he lived on and the kind of house, which was a ranch with a right-hand two-car garage. 18 months later, a house that it very well could have been was for sale. I never told anyone until many years later because I was so afraid that my friends would find out. And my own mother has refused to give out info that she knows about one of my other early abusers too.

You are not alone Michael, nor was what happened your fault. Any time that you need to talk please feel free to ask. (I'll be out much of the rest of today and tomorrow I'm going to a barbeque at my wife's sister's house).

Have hope,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#247599 - 08/31/08 05:28 PM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: Trucker51]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
It seems that after 31 years, The pain would fade. The physical pain is gone. The emotional scars are as raw as ever. Every year at this time my emotional trigers go off. I crash and don't know to be angry or sad. I have tried for several years to resolve this by haveing the SOB arested for his crime.
But the army still seems to close ranks. Any time that someone tries to find out about perverts in there ranks. They seem to be afraid to admit rape happen to male soldgers as well as female soldgers. Time has caused some changes in the policy. But if a soldger complains . They are the one that is punished

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#247626 - 08/31/08 10:47 PM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: OKIE MIKE]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Michael,

It must be really rough this weekend. I hope you feel safer here online with your friends and that we can be of some solace.

I don't associate my so much with the time of year as I do the location. I still sometimes have trouble going back to the town where I was raped (which happens to be the town my mother moved to a couple of years ago).

Talking about it, writing about it, finding ways to express these emotions will help you get through the weekend. Have you talked to your therapist about this?

Michael


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#247664 - 09/01/08 02:51 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
One of my abusers was a two-tour Vietnam combat Marine. His abuse of me started when I was 12 and he was home on leave. There were several ever more violent incidents between 1970 and 1972, which ended just before I turned 15. I know where he lives, his email address, and know that he has some close connection to a religious boarding school. When he found out about anonymous no-name accusations that someone else had written in their book he threatened to sue the author. It was a bit odd because he wasn't specifically named. That was back in 1997 and I haven't heard anything since out of him, though I know that a couple of his siblings won't talk to him anymore because of his reaction to the book.

Years ago it was quite common to blame the young male victim. In my first group in 1987 the facilitator told of the early days of male recovery from the late 1970s and early 1980s. I was scared to death to tell anyone back then. When I first tried to my own mother beat me up for allegedly lying about her church friends, and the 2nd time I told anyone, the Vermont Highway Patrol sent me back home with my abuser, for more abuse. In neither case was I believed. After those two tries it was another 12 years of personal hell before I found the courage to open the front door at my first therapist's office.

Talk to our Navy man Brian (LN3-SS)? or Peter Corbett, among others, about military abuse and attempts by the military to cover it up. Have you seen Mic Hunter's latest book? It is all about victims of military abuse. I would suggest looking up his book ABUSED BOYS on Amazon.com, then look through other titles by the author to find his new book. There should be some reviews on Amazon too.

Anyway, the holiday will be over soon. Have hope, my man. Recovery is possible.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#247665 - 09/01/08 03:00 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: Trucker51]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
I hate labor day as well.





Edited by Dude. (09/01/08 03:05 AM)

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#247677 - 09/01/08 08:17 AM Re: I HATE LABOR DAY [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i'm sorry with you mike. i hope you can spend the day surrounded by real love and affection you so deeply deserve.

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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