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#247054 - 08/28/08 01:20 PM Re: Confrontation/Accomplished [Re: michael banks]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Ken I would hazard a guess that a huge percentage of abusers won't say they're sorry or take responsibility. So he's by no means 'special' - he's 'common'. However, your courage to approach this challenge was very special, by sharp contrast. ;\)





Edited by hogan_dawg (08/28/08 01:21 PM)
_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#247170 - 08/28/08 09:34 PM . [Re: hogan_dawg]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 06:19 PM)

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#247188 - 08/28/08 11:26 PM Re: Confrontation/Accomplished [Re: bardo213]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
lynchmob,

I sent you a PM regarding your response to my post.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#247296 - 08/29/08 05:34 PM Re: Confrontation/Accomplished [Re: KENKEN]
ktaylor7 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 8
Loc: South Carolina
I am proud of you for taking the risk of confronting your brother. How he responded is not important, it's how you respond that matters. I have chosen not to confront my abuser. He is now under house arrest because of what he did to others. I have forgiven him and that was the healing that I needed. I do not wish him harm. I have taken my own freedom and you can too.

_________________________
Ken T.

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#247352 - 08/29/08 10:32 PM Re: Confrontation/Accomplished [Re: michael banks]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
Kenken, that took a lot of courage. Wow. You did it! That is really something.

Allen

Puffer


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#247364 - 08/30/08 12:27 AM Re: Confrontation/Accomplished [Re: pufferfish]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 857
Loc: washington
Kenken,

I admire your courage wounded warrior.

Now, it is time to wear the badge of courage and move forward.

The bottom line is even if he doesn't take responsibility. He owns the shame 100%.


Were not going to take it. (Twisted Sister)

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#247527 - 08/30/08 10:37 PM Re: Confrontation/Accomplished [Re: 1islandboy]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
I really appreciate all the positive responses to my post. They have helped me this past week to get through each day.

I have had a few moments of weakness, stress and anxiety this week. I have asked myself if I did make a good choice/decision to confront my brother as I did last weekend. It is sad for me that I have not heard from any of my siblings. Seems they have decided I'm not worth the bother anymore. Guess I am a bigger pain in their side than I thought.

But even saying this, I do feel good about myself. I feel more like I did what I had to do. I am a "big boy" and if they, my family, want nothing to do with me, that is their choice. I still feel determined to take full control of my life back. I want so much to get better and to learn better how to cope. I hope and pray my determination continues. I know I could not have accomplished so much of my healing without your help and the help from my close circle of friends and family.

Thanks for listening.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#247542 - 08/31/08 12:28 AM Re: Confrontation/Accomplished [Re: KENKEN]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Ken,

Several years ago, I wrote letters to my four sibling asking them how they experience growing up in our family.
Only my youngest brother responded and I felt hurt that the others didn't.
I found out a few years ago it was because they just didn't want to rehash what they felt was in the past.
It had nothing to do with me personely.
So if you don't hear from them it probably has more to do with them then you.

mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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