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#246361 - 08/24/08 09:57 AM WHY DO I NEED FRIENDS..
conflicted Offline


Registered: 08/02/08
Posts: 45
Loc: Greenville, SC
Sometimes i ask myself, why do I need friends... been there? done that? and then i reflect on how desperately lonely life would be without them.

Do they ever disappoint me? This is the hardest part of friendship. The times that we need them the most, coincides with the times that we are left "standing on the curb." But hey... experts say... who ever they are... that no risk no gain.

Being vulnerable to rejection is what haunts me the most. Those of us here KNOW rejection and the intense feelings it creates. Recently I have had some rejection issues here on MS, and felt like just throwing in the towel and running to "my own little corner, in my own little room" for truly there..."i can be whatever i want to be." But this place is not the place of real peace. I find it is only when a friend comes along side and walks with you through the pain, through the fire, or through whatever, "that i can be whatever I want to be." So this is what brings me back... back to this place... where friends walk with friends. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" Thanks to my friends... Phil, Mike, and Paul. I love you guys! Here is a song that says it like it is... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFfG9QUbEqM&feature=related

Your thoughts welcomed



Edited by conflicted (08/24/08 08:15 PM)
_________________________
Masquerades are a lot of fun, until you see it is really your life.


my story...finally out *triggers*

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#246369 - 08/24/08 10:43 AM Re: WHY DO I NEED FRIENDS.. [Re: conflicted]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11025
Loc: Denver, CO
Good post.

I liken relationship to filling another's cup. We each have our own cup. We give of our cup and when it feels like near dry, another comes and fills it again.

I can recall times of feeling really left hung out to dry by people I considered friends. I guess life teaches us to pick our friends carefully, but when circumstances change, so does the relationship. Argh! Isn't relationship wonderful?

In a world full of enemies, I'm glad there are friends to share the cup with.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#246373 - 08/24/08 11:24 AM Re: WHY DO I NEED FRIENDS.. [Re: FormerTexan]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
I hate this topic! I feel compelled to post on it every time though. It makes me cry every time...

Running to that corner solves nothing. It feels safe, probably is, but hurts so much in the long run that it poisons the soul. I have too much poison there already to bring in more.

Rejection hurts. But don't judge the friendships by the number of rejections. I would rather judge my friendships by the quality of those that walk through everything with me. Those are the people that make it worthwhile everyday.

I have missed seeing you on. Say hi sometime, will ya? A lesson I am learning slowly about friendships is that there can be disagreements that draw friends closer.

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#246388 - 08/24/08 01:30 PM Re: WHY DO I NEED FRIENDS.. [Re: LN3(SS)]
terpprm Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/15/07
Posts: 312
Loc: Elyria, Ohio
i think this is a very appropriate topic. because it causes one to ask, what are friends? how do i know if i have any? are they REAL? how do i find them? or do they find me?

all this sounds so complex, but it really isn't in the long run. we just have to learn ourselves on the rights and wrongs. do we let others control our methods? run our lives? or do we make decisions for ourselves? stand up and decide to take life in our own hands? there has to be a time in which we decide to not let someone else control what we do, whether it be a person or other "forces" and really just take the reigns on our lives. sure, we'll fall. but that is our choice to make. we all must learn by mistake. that is what life is.

Men, we must stand and decide to let those who have wronged us win. by staying down on the ground and "playing(not in it's literal sense) hurt" the rest of our lives, that is exactly what we are doing, is letting them win. let's decide to rise above ourselves and conquer this thing!!!!!

Love to all...

Philip

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My Story

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#246428 - 08/24/08 08:16 PM Re: WHY DO I NEED FRIENDS.. [Re: terpprm]
conflicted Offline


Registered: 08/02/08
Posts: 45
Loc: Greenville, SC
Thanks, Philip for the encouraging words. I know that we, male survivors, can set ourselves up for failure and defeat if our reliance is totally on others. Our winning the race set before us is in a sense determined by how we run the race. On the other hand, "two are better than one." I want to run the race well, but in every race there is the coach, the trainer, the "official, who set the rules, and enforce them as well," the on-looker, and the RUNNER. All contribute to a race well run. Bottom line... "true friends stick closer than a brother." In this race of life if I perchance come across a few friends, the race will be worth running. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFfG9QUbEqM&feature=related

_________________________
Masquerades are a lot of fun, until you see it is really your life.


my story...finally out *triggers*

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#246447 - 08/24/08 11:45 PM Re: WHY DO I NEED FRIENDS.. [Re: conflicted]
terpprm Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/15/07
Posts: 312
Loc: Elyria, Ohio
i think friends are highly important! i guess what i meant was while we need them, we can't let others control us......but we still need them. but even beyond our friends, there are even people out there that don't even know a thing about us except that we are male survivors who try and control us and i think that there comes a time where we need to be given he freedom of controlling our own lives.

Philip

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My Story

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