I challenge everyone to post their 'good stuff' here. If you have nothing to post, then perhaps read and just take hope from the fact that there IS good to come, and one day you will be able to post something here. But for people to feel not a part of this site simply because they are positive and have good things to say, that is silly. Yes, what bring us all here was terrible. But what we are today, and what our lifes are today, do not have to be.

My 'good stuff' from this week:

A friend I was quite worried of is home, safe, and dealing better of their issues.

Something I feared was cancer (something I have much to much experience with) WASN'T!

I am being able to be a good source of support to someone who need me right now, because I have healed enough to be able to do that.

My cat is groomed and the vet says she is healthy. So I do not have to put her back into 'the box' again until next year.

There is a start, and I will add to this sometime. I challenge others to add their 'good stuff' here.

Andrei

I have 3 friend's (all survivors) that I can call on anytime I feel like, and they understand my issues completely.

I am helping other survivor's by being a facilitator to group meetings

I actually am able to join in the human race (limited) but it's because MS gave me a place to start and the practice I needed.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Big seperation line


I am able to push my feeling's down at will

I can pretend my past didn't affect me

I am able to sleepwalk through life because I can pretend I'm strong

I am exactly what my Father expected me to be, cold, unfeeling and MANLY, too bad he's a loser.

I can avoid my feeling's by proclaiming everyone a crybaby and a wimp so I can feel better about myself.

I can feel good because everyone is less than me because they are weaker for stating their feelings

I can ignore my past


Stay strong
Mike

I CAN protect myself.

I have another new friend from our local support crowd, and I have been offered the chance to join their in-person support group.

Like Andrei, "I am able to be a good source of support to (the people) who need me right now, because I have healed enough to be able to do that".

Several times recently I have been told just how much positive effect that I have had on someone's recovery, which makes me feel good about what I am doing.

Tuesday our new tall positive member and I talked for an hour on the phone and came to understand and respect each other a lot better than we once had.

After a bit of a rocky summer with a lot of personal stress for both of us, the relationship between my wife and I has become stronger and is again headed in the right direction.

Thanks to Vitaliy for giving me a link to a different photo-sharing site that is easy to use, I was finally able to post my photos on the Adult Me topic on pages 38 & 39. It is great that I can count on my brothers here at MS for my needs too.

Financially I am in much better shape for retirement than I thought that I was, which is a bit of a relief. Maybe someday I will use some of it to benefit certain trusted charities.

And finally, in just 5 & 1/2 hours, my week alone here at home will come to an end, when I pick-up my wife from the airport. She has been in Michigan helping with the care of her elderly parents.

So now it is time to get busy and clean-up the mess!!!

Mark

I have people I know who care very much of me and want what is best for me.

I am stronger then sometime I will credit to myself.

I have survived in the past. I can survive this.

VN

Here, on this site, I have people that care about me.

I had someone tell me that I was handsome.

I WILL FIGHT THE NAVY!

Brian

Thank You for starting this thread Andrei

my "BIG" good thing for this last week was... Getting my 1st house - something I thought I'd never do just a few years back...

also... another great thing of this last week was getting together on Saturday with 3 of my friends from here in the site to talk and hang out for a day

and then yesterday... spent the day at the MN State Fair with my wife

SCHOOL STARTS IN 8 DAYS!!!!!!!! LMAO, sorry exhausted stay at home mom...but still, it's freaking the good stuff!

Making up with a friend after a fight.

Being able to offer support and safety to someone who is in need of it right now.

My girlfriend! (Yes, the newest)

Talking on the phone with a friend who I've known for years and never talked with on the phone before. (You are loved Dale)

That my GOOD computer will be back out of the shop in a few days and I won't be stuck on old 'Windows 98' shit, or have to borrow a friend's!

Leosha

Hydrocodone and ice packs. Make to feel good.

andrei

Great thread, Andrei, and it's really good to see so many positive things happening in the guys' lives here.

Here's a few of mine:

* My wife and daughters are my life, and I am blessed beyond belief to have them.
* My health is good and I am able to get up each day without major complaint.
* I have a good job doing something I really enjoy, and have a boss that is beyond measure.
* I have been blessed to be able to recovery from the past, although I am still a work in progress.

Positive things this week:

1. It is finally sunny!
2. No rain!
3. I have managed to live to 52 yrs.
4. I am healthy...lazy, but healthy.
5. I have a super son!
6. I have awesome friends here, whom I love as brothers. They
know who they are.
7. I have a roof over my head.
8. I have food to eat.
9. I have plenty to drink, sometimes too much.
10. I have MS. Without MS, and the awesome friends in #6, I may
not be here to enjoy this positive week.

Frozen Snickers bars! (The real ones in the freezer, not those designed freezer ones)

Positive things;

1- a beautiful and supportive wife.
2- 7 wonderful children
3- a job I love
4- a beautiful home
5- M/s and it's great guys
6- a new mens suppopt group.

mike

'Being there' for a friend and getting a hug from someone who doesn't like touch.

Being proud of a friend, and becoming aware of how very good some people really are.

My all-time "good thing":
About 10 years ago, my roommate was a bipolar cokehead with two kids, a 5-yr. old daughter, and a 3-yr. old son (each with different absent fathers), and a new boyfriend every week; a totally chaotic household. The day before i moved out, i made the daughter promise me that if anybody did anything that hurt her or made her (or her little brother) feel yucky, even if it was her mommy or one of her friends, she should tell her teacher, or another grown-up that she felt safe around, right away. About a month later, the mother stopped by my new apt. to thank me- the new roommate after me tried to molest her daughter, and she told her mother the same day- the creep was arrested. I never felt better about myself than that moment.

Only The Good Stuff,

Let me see,

I found out my van, (that was given to me), needs a new tie rod,
and it is hundreds of dollars cheaper than most vehicles.

I just got a perm, (in spite of what anyone thinks about long hair during the summer months, the mullet is taking shape). This is a sign of FREEDOM...!!!

My relationship with my new girlfriend, continues to evolve and grow.

I freely gave advice to a newcomer, I now have the ability to care and help someone besides myself.

I am sober, and if I continue this trend will be two on the 4th of October.

Almost forgot, just got my teeth cleaned!


smile,

island

I did serious 'kick ass' in test skate yesterday!

Great idea for a thread!! Here's my list today:

1. I have wonderful friends here that are supportive of me and my journey.
2. I have made great friends from around the world here at MaleSurvivior.
3. I am dating and for the first time it's nice.
4. I feel a sort of content type of happy and it's sticking around (scary).
5. I am beginning to break free from the abuse to become the person I was destined to be.
6. I am finally believing that some day I will not just survive, but thrive!

'making best of' something I am not so very thrilled of.

(But getting to work with a quite beautiful woman while doing it!)

A good friend is recovering and getting stronger from serious illness!!

(Sorry in advance for another longish post)
I had recently spoken to my ex-fiancee on the phone, and mentioned that i missed seeing the two grandkids of hers that we would watch on a fairly frequent basis, while we still together. (Backstory: my ex's kids never held anything against me, but they never tried to maintain any contact after she left me, either; my ex and i managed to be on friendly terms after the first few painful months after the breakup, and i heard through her a couple of months ago that her oldest daughter (the mom of the two grandkids) was splitting up with her husband. I felt bad for the kids; the older boy (i'll call him G) is 13, and his younger sister(i'll call her R) is 8, and i remember all too well my father's divorce from his 2nd wife when i was 10.)

Anyway, my ex told me that i should call her daughter, that she'd have no problem with me having the kids for an afternoon or overnight (if the kids wanted to also, of course), and that i should just call and ask. My ex gave me the new #, and i thanked her, but i still felt a little like maybe i might be butting into other's lives unwantedly, and i kept the #, but didn't call.

A few days later, the daughter calls me, and tells me her mom had mentioned me missing the kids, and wanted to know if i was busy, and if wanted to have G over for the night! I was very surprised but happy, and i could hear G in the backround- he obviously had missed me too, and wanted to come over.

She brought him by, gave me a hug (her daughter R was with her, and i got a hug from her too), and G ended up staying the whole weekend, with his mom's blessing- i cooked cheeseburgers for us one night, played a lot of PS2 games with him like we used to, and let him just be himself, sleep in, relax, and gave him openings to talk about serious stuff if he wanted to. It feels really good to be able to be someone he's able to relax around and confide in, the sort of adult friend i wished was around during my father's divorce. I'm also grateful to have it reaffirmed that my ex never allowed the family to resent or blame me for our break-up.

Yes, life can be messy and ugly, but there's a lot of love and grace lurking in unexpected places, too; one of the worst lies we can tell ourselves is that we have nothing to offer, and kids can be amazingly good at reminding us how false that is.

Strange 'good stuff' I'm sure but for me, it's work. I enjoy it, I'm able to do what I'm good at and enjoy, and the busier I am, the happier I get!

Leosha

my "Good Stuff" for the last week...

1) an Awesome weekend at Alta for a weekend of recovery - Love you (((((guys)))))

2) Moving forward on getting the first house with my wife (closing date now moved to the 19th)

My "Good Stuff" includes this one very important thing to me:

For the last month I have had a very good thing move forward in my life. I am content with where it appears to be going and fighting all the negative feelings with it and I have the support of my friends here to keep me from acting out.

Brian

Since disclosing to my wife of 27 years last week, I have never, ever felt so emotionally, and physically connected to her. Its wonderful! I could never have imagined such a liberation from my CSA!

1. I have 2 friends that I have lunch with twice a week. They understand.

2. I have enough (too much) to eat.

3. I have good shelter in a home.

4. I am retired so I don't have a boss breathing down my neck.

5. I have a fun and loyal dog.

6. I have plenty to read and good music.

7. I am able to play in several music groups where my playing is appreciated.

8. My kids call me almost daily and I have a meal with them about weekly. I have a new grandson.

Allen

puffer

Hi, The good stuff for me is having you all as my friends/brothers as mentors. Heal well my friends. Sure can't beat that.
Pete (irishmoose)

This was originaly posted in F&F, It was sugested that it might belong here. So Here goes.
Father and son talk.
On this day a father and his son had a talk about the most profound things that happened to his father as a young boy. As a father to his son I had always told him to tell me the truth. I also always told him that the "door" is always open, no matter what happens. So what was good for the son is also good for the father. I chose to tell him the whole sorry story in every detail. Son listned to father noded head and cried. When father was finished with father-son talk, son comes over to father, we embrace and he tells me that he understands me, gives me his compassion, his love, father and son are still in an embrace crying like babys, father for the first time in a lot of years finally cries outside of himself. Son tells father I love you for protecting me, for being a good father, and being a good grandfather tto his/our boys. It was the best feeling that I have had in months. Sure can't beat that love.
Pete (irishmoose)

Something good right now: Injury I think is a broken bone, it is really only a tore ligament, and I will be able to heal and have less pain much more soon then I thought.

I am alive - I didn't just survive, I lived.
I am here , I belong. I can and will go on!!!

I picked up my puppy this past weekend (it was out of a litter of pups my folks had - it's a very cute cockapoo - mostly black with a little white blaze on it's chest and gold paws and rump)

I never thought I would say this, but I am feeling 'up in the clouds' enough right now to say it.

I'M THE GOOD STUFF!!!!

VN

My Joy …

Joy is an attitude; it is the presence of love - for self and others. It comes from a feeling of inner peace, the ability to give and receive, and appreciation of the self and others. It is a state of gratitude and compassion, a feeling of connection to your higher self.

unknown
Source: Living With Joy: Keys to Personal Power and Spiritual Transformation (Earth Life Series, Book I), Page: 11


Much has been written lately of how there seems to be much misery on the boards at MS … In my opinion this place is a clearing house of stored up emotions connected to our abusive history, there is bound to be much more stored up negative feelings than good … because let’s face it, there aint much good that comes from sexual abuse.

However every now and then someone writes a positive post … we should share their joy when it happens but refrain from complaining about the rest.

We are all on a healing journey here, let’s not get distracted by trying to put a positive light on what is essentially a difficult journey to completeness.

Now for my little bit of joy … This hopeless romantic has finally fallen in love again … he is a sweet man, a caring and compassionate man who has shown me how to love and accept love again

Despite all he has gone through in his life he has remained a kind and generous soul. I am so proud of him, and I glad he wants me in his life.

OK gushing complete … will resume my journey thru my misery (with a great man by my side).

Hi, to all on this HERE'S the good stuff pages, & especially to walkingsouth/John & Geeders/Jim, trucker51/Mark. Just last weekend I was in the depths of my soul as again those memories/dreams had just overwelmed me. I was in a sorry state. But I am into reading the book Victims No Longer, I have read and reread the chapter 5, lost childhood. And here is what I now have to say, That lost boy and I are celebrating the first day of the rest of their life. Why the celebration? Because me and that boy are finally going to stop beating ourselfs up about our childhood. We I'm learning about that boys courage, intelligence, insight and goodness, we are rediscovering those qualities in ourselfs. After all we are related, and we are living proof of our survival. I owe that boy a lot, I know that if it wern't for his courage, love and survival skills, I wouldn't be here. All he needed was my reassurance. I have found my serenity in our struggle in the book Victims No Longer (from where most of the above passages have come from). The boy and me are coming to terms with ourselfs. So today is little boy Peter and man Peter's day to move on from VICTIM to SURVIVOR. Celebrate with us. As we will celebrate your transition from victim to survivor too. There is still a huge struggle ahead, we are ready for it. Heal well my friends/brothers.
Pete (Irishmoose)

Peter,
There are tears of profound joy in my eyes in this moment as my heart celebrates the unification of little Peter and big Peter. You both totally ROCK!!!

Those of us who have been blessed to journey to that stage of recovery know all to well what an amazing achievement that coming together is!

So here's my good stuff for today : 1) Being allowed to witness wonderfull men such as Peter love themselves well and,
2) rejoicing in their generosity for sharing such intimate pieces of themselves for the benefit others.

My day has been truly brightened!!!

I've seen this thread come and go since its inception... Thought I'd finally add something good. We'll see how this goes over.

I had a good childhood.

All the best,
~Bri

I woke up alive this morning.

My Phillies won the pennant!

Usually my business slows down by this time in the season, but I've been fortuante enough to pick up some nice year-'round accounts and we're still moving quickly.

I took my son on a go-cart I purchased the other day. It was fun and funny. He had a blast, and when that happens, I'm happier than a lark. Chad watched us go round-and-round the beach, and I loved watching him laugh and smile. When it was his turn to drive, I stood back and laughed and smiled. Ya know... kids make everything worth it. :

I was playing Indiana Jones on the PS3 with my son. Chad usually plays the games with him. I'm not very good at video games. When I didn't know what to do at a certain point and I couldn't figure out the right buttons to push, my son says to me, "Put the controller down. I can't play with you. You stink!" This coming from an almost 4 year-old. Yeah, well I'm better at Atari!

Most of the good stuff involves my time spent at home with my family. It's not one big huge thing that does it for me, and allows me to get up at all hours of the day and night to go to work. It's just those little tiny everyday occurances, all rolled up together, that make this one big sandwich of success, love, and elation. I figure I'd be a pretty miserable bitch if I had to go home to an empty house every night.

Rich

Right on Stretch73,
My son and grandkids too, are my pride and joy, and I get my strength from watching those grandkids (7&8) enjoying thier childhood, free,clean & loved. I would hate to be alone too.
I'm glad tha you are enjoying them , loving them and protecting them. There great medicine. heal well. My friend.
Pete (Irishmoose)

A boy and his grandpa.
Last Saturday was the youngest memember of the Corbett family's birthday, he turned 8 yrs old. I wanted to be the first family member to wish him a happy birthday. I bought a "american donut" at the local bakery to take with me. When I got to his house he was still sleeping. Waiting for him to wake up and come downstairs I had put 8 birthday candles in it. When he woke up and came downstairs I lit the candles and sang happy birthday to him. He asked is that my birthday cake? Nope I told him, just something for his breakfast. I had a small box with me and told him it's for his birthday, he opens the box and said to me HEY grandpa it's empty, I told him to close it and open it again, he does and again HEY grandpa it's still empty. Well his old grandpa tells him that it did indeed have something in it, it had grandpa's heart, soul & love in it. You couldn't see it, but it's there and long after your birthday celebration is over, your grandpa's birthday present will still be there, always and forever, well little boy comes over to grandpa and gives him a hug and kiss and tells him that I love you too grandpa. That HERE'S the good stuff.
Now anyone who reads some of my posts knows just how much those two grand children mean to me. During my darkest days of deep depression when those long buried CSA memories surfaced, those two boys, both now 8 yrs old have been my only source of peace and serenity. They are now my "higher power" in helping me and that lost boy to recover from victim to survivor. Again that's the Good Stuff. Wishing you all my friends/brothers well in our recovery.
Pete (Irishmoose)

Making it to day 2 of the poker tournament! (to be continued, hopefully)