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#248278 - 09/05/08 01:36 PM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: M3]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
'making best of' something I am not so very thrilled of.

(But getting to work with a quite beautiful woman while doing it!)


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#248541 - 09/07/08 08:46 PM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: VN]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
A good friend is recovering and getting stronger from serious illness!!


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#248587 - 09/08/08 02:16 AM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: ak]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
(Sorry in advance for another longish post)
I had recently spoken to my ex-fiancee on the phone, and mentioned that i missed seeing the two grandkids of hers that we would watch on a fairly frequent basis, while we still together. (Backstory: my ex's kids never held anything against me, but they never tried to maintain any contact after she left me, either; my ex and i managed to be on friendly terms after the first few painful months after the breakup, and i heard through her a couple of months ago that her oldest daughter (the mom of the two grandkids) was splitting up with her husband. I felt bad for the kids; the older boy (i'll call him G) is 13, and his younger sister(i'll call her R) is 8, and i remember all too well my father's divorce from his 2nd wife when i was 10.)

Anyway, my ex told me that i should call her daughter, that she'd have no problem with me having the kids for an afternoon or overnight (if the kids wanted to also, of course), and that i should just call and ask. My ex gave me the new #, and i thanked her, but i still felt a little like maybe i might be butting into other's lives unwantedly, and i kept the #, but didn't call.

A few days later, the daughter calls me, and tells me her mom had mentioned me missing the kids, and wanted to know if i was busy, and if wanted to have G over for the night! I was very surprised but happy, and i could hear G in the backround- he obviously had missed me too, and wanted to come over.

She brought him by, gave me a hug (her daughter R was with her, and i got a hug from her too), and G ended up staying the whole weekend, with his mom's blessing- i cooked cheeseburgers for us one night, played a lot of PS2 games with him like we used to, and let him just be himself, sleep in, relax, and gave him openings to talk about serious stuff if he wanted to. It feels really good to be able to be someone he's able to relax around and confide in, the sort of adult friend i wished was around during my father's divorce. I'm also grateful to have it reaffirmed that my ex never allowed the family to resent or blame me for our break-up.

Yes, life can be messy and ugly, but there's a lot of love and grace lurking in unexpected places, too; one of the worst lies we can tell ourselves is that we have nothing to offer, and kids can be amazingly good at reminding us how false that is.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#248630 - 09/08/08 12:06 PM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: dgoods]
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Strange 'good stuff' I'm sure but for me, it's work. I enjoy it, I'm able to do what I'm good at and enjoy, and the busier I am, the happier I get!

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#248855 - 09/09/08 02:36 PM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: Leosha]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
my "Good Stuff" for the last week...

1) an Awesome weekend at Alta for a weekend of recovery - Love you (((((guys)))))

2) Moving forward on getting the first house with my wife \:\) (closing date now moved to the 19th)

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#253061 - 10/05/08 11:30 AM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: TJ jeff]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
My "Good Stuff" includes this one very important thing to me:

For the last month I have had a very good thing move forward in my life. I am content with where it appears to be going and fighting all the negative feelings with it and I have the support of my friends here to keep me from acting out.

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#253155 - 10/05/08 11:37 PM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: LN3(SS)]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Since disclosing to my wife of 27 years last week, I have never, ever felt so emotionally, and physically connected to her. Its wonderful! I could never have imagined such a liberation from my CSA!

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#253160 - 10/06/08 12:07 AM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: ak]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
1. I have 2 friends that I have lunch with twice a week. They understand.

2. I have enough (too much) to eat.

3. I have good shelter in a home.

4. I am retired so I don't have a boss breathing down my neck.

5. I have a fun and loyal dog.

6. I have plenty to read and good music.

7. I am able to play in several music groups where my playing is appreciated.

8. My kids call me almost daily and I have a meal with them about weekly. I have a new grandson.

Allen

puffer



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#253168 - 10/06/08 02:09 AM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: pufferfish]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, The good stuff for me is having you all as my friends/brothers as mentors. Heal well my friends. Sure can't beat that.
Pete (irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#253175 - 10/06/08 05:21 AM Re: Challenge: HERE'S the good stuff!! [Re: ak]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
This was originaly posted in F&F, It was sugested that it might belong here. So Here goes.
Father and son talk.
On this day a father and his son had a talk about the most profound things that happened to his father as a young boy. As a father to his son I had always told him to tell me the truth. I also always told him that the "door" is always open, no matter what happens. So what was good for the son is also good for the father. I chose to tell him the whole sorry story in every detail. Son listned to father noded head and cried. When father was finished with father-son talk, son comes over to father, we embrace and he tells me that he understands me, gives me his compassion, his love, father and son are still in an embrace crying like babys, father for the first time in a lot of years finally cries outside of himself. Son tells father I love you for protecting me, for being a good father, and being a good grandfather tto his/our boys. It was the best feeling that I have had in months. Sure can't beat that love.
Pete (irishmoose)

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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