Hi sugarbaby and welcome.
The anger over timing is understandable. A big part of what created the way your husband behaves was hidden from you. Funny how that seems to be quite a theme on F&F these days. The anger and the hurt are understandable. For 12 years you were together and in all that time, there was a huge part of your husband that you were unaware of. I'm willing to bet though that he didn't think in all that time that the piece he kept to himself had any bearing on you, your marriage, your family, his interactions with friends, or his lack of them, and countless other things that he would react to in every day life. He put it away very nicely, even if he always remembered.
Stay here sugar - read, learn, ask questions. My own experience has taught me that when I found out did matter a rat's ass because learning and then understanding why he didn't tell me right away makes absolute sense. I had a 4 year relationship when I found out. Now we've been together for 7 years, but the reality is that a whole new relationship started 3 years ago. That's the one we're working with.
The books Mark recommends are right on! I have both.
Edited by Trish4850 (08/23/08 12:50 PM)
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.