I want to thank everyone for their honest, and straight foward answers. I wanted to do this as a sort of "root cause analysis", because I think we get caught up in everything happening around us that we have little control over, and it's easy to lose sight of the truth.
As partners, we hold onto the "secrets" that the ones we love should NEVER have held onto, (because those secrets weren't theirs either). Because we don't want to betray them. It leaves us in a lonely place.
Often, the things that surface in our relationships, we would feel too embarressing to discuss, face to face, but we can ask any question, of anyone here, partner, or survivor, and get a straight-forward answer that, often, leads to better understanding. EVERYONE benefits from this site. The survivors that come here, the partners that come here (even when the men they're with are yet too afraid) We learn from each other. And the survivors that post, are helping those that do not yet have the strength to come here and post themselves. The best cure for anything, is education.
Thank you all,