I want each of you to know that I feel so badly for Jarrad’s situation. His relationship to the site has had a long and difficult path that has included much good that he has given to the rest of us, and much that he has gotten from us. The circumstances of Jarrad’s absence will as always be handled privately since that is our way of preserving each person’s privacy.
The other issue is that campaigns to deal with a mod decision or action in the public forum have always been a distraction for many who came here to deal with the issues of their own recovery. Each user of the site is welcome to raise their issues about the site operation with one of the mods or with myself. We may disagree or we may share something useful with each other, but rest assured that my job will always be to keep the site safe for users and I will endeavor to be guided by that principle. On the other hand, I would not be here if I wasn’t deeply committed to contributing to the recovery of others as well as myself.
Jarrad will be in my prayers each day as well as in the prayers of my church's congregation on Sunday. But also know that the mods will have my prayers as well, since each of them are also survivors in recovery and are effected by the "family squabbles" we have with users on the site.
"All of us deserve the loving care and sustaining support from each other that is our birthright." (which is the affirmation I offer to each of us)
Please read the enclosed message from Larry who has been staying in touch with the Jarrad’s situation.
I have just been speaking with a close friend of Jarrad’s and can report that he’s doing better today. He gets up and around a bit, but is still sedated for the most part and has difficulty following a conversation and keeping in mind where he is. But his friend passed on my greetings and Jarrad knew who I was. Quite naturally he feels a bit awkward that I know about the OD, but a drug problem in youth is an issue that he and I share and have frequently talked about, so it was okay.
I will continue to be in touch with Jarrad and I have passed on the various greetings you have sent to him. We want everyone to know that we are as concerned about Jarrad’s welfare and safety as you are. He is not being abandoned, and I have been in contact with him throughout the time he has been off the site.
We also appreciate your own concerns for Jarrad and his status on the site. Unfortunately this is not something we can discuss without publicizing private information and violating the confidence of Jarrad and others. These are things we cannot do. This is an important issue on MaleSurvivor; all of us need to know that when we come here our confidences will be respected and our privacy will be honored. This is a crucial aspect of the atmosphere of safety that makes a place like this work.
For similar reasons we cannot accommodate on the site public campaigns on behalf of a particular user or constituency against site policies or the actions of the ModTeam. Discussion of such topics in a meaningful way would require disclosure of confidential details, and as we cannot do that, any exchange would be based on incomplete or one-sided information. In any case, such debates comprise a serious distraction from the real reason we are all here, which is to work on our recovery. It also discourages new guys from reaching out and taking advantage of a unique opportunity. We might also consider whether Jarrad himself would want this unfortunate setback to be turned into a campaign; I think I know him well enough to say he would not.
That is not to say that we want to deprive you of opportunities to express your greetings and best wishes to Jarrad. As he has called himself the “uber gay” of MaleSurvivor I think it would be appropriate that our gay brothers on the site start a new thread in the Gay Forum specifically devoted to greetings for him – I think he would like that. Call it "Greetings for Jarrad" so everyone will know what to look for. If you have never been in the Gay Forum here's a good opportunity to check out what your gay brothers are talking about. I will check the thread every morning and pass it on to Jarrad whatever greetings have been made in the past 24 hours. Please, let’s leave other agendas at the door and focus on supporting a fellow survivor who needs to feel understood and special.
Larry, aka roadrunner
I will be closing this thread since its purpose included creating a campaign on behalf of Jarrad to return. PLEASE POST MESSAGES FOR JARRAD HERE: Greetings for Jarrad
Any comments you have will be welcomed by PM or email to MSAdmin@malesurvivor.org or to one of the mods. Although I have been somewhat unavailable recently due to health needs, I will endeavor to and should be able to respond more quickly in the future.
Peace and recovery my fellow survivors
MS Site Administrator