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#244651 - 08/15/08 06:59 AM News about Jarrad
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Many of you know Jarrad, and I wanted to share some news about him.

This morning I was informed that Jarrad has been hospitalized because of a drug overdose. He is apparently going to make a full recovery, physically. I'm sure many of you will want to join me in wishing Jarrad well.

Best regards,

Lazarus



Edited by ModTeam (08/15/08 03:38 PM)

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#244654 - 08/15/08 07:21 AM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: Lazarus]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
I got an email saying what had happened.

Jarrad was always here for me and helped me through so much, he kept me here and sane. We talked and met in the hc.

i agree with everything you say Lazarus.

he might have been in your face and has big problems with authority but he always said it like it is, and this helped me and so many more.

So pm the mods and ask if a brother in need can be allowed to come back, please.

Ben



Edited by SEVEN ARROWS (08/15/08 10:03 AM)

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#244669 - 08/15/08 09:42 AM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: Lazarus]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
laz, thanks for the report.

for all of it's good intentions, ms is no way ready to deal with the issues that come with being survivor who is 'other orientated'. an organization run by predominantly heterosexual men in a field of mental health does not necessarily spell understanding. compassion, yes, tolerance, yes.

we do have special forum where we can say what we need to say, and for that we are grateful, but for the most part, people here cannot relate to our unique position, and for whatever reason, deep seated homophobia in general not withstanding, i seriously doubt if in our lifetime, we will ever be able to breathe comfortably the air of heterosexual bias that pervades our psychic climate.

until people, in their own minds, stop making sexuality a black and white issue, this will never change, because there will always be the self-righteous majority that believes the smell of its own farts to be the sweetest.

i realize that any organization has to protect its interests and i can honor that. the recent hejira of disgruntled members has left its impact on all of us. but for those of us who only get support from fellow survivors who are not fleeced with frocks of exclusivity and bias, that one member lost as a tremendous point of support represents a huge percentage in the cutback of unconditional supportive presence.

jarrad i love your heart and your spirit. i miss your presence. you are a good person. i keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will prevail in your desire to surmount all the roadblocks life has placed in your path.

in keeping with the current theme of the times, i celebrate the olympian spirit of the gay survivor.

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#244674 - 08/15/08 10:09 AM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: Sans Logos]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2572
Quote:
but for those of us who only get support from fellow survivors who are not fleeced with frocks of exclusivity and bias, that one member lost as a tremendous point of support represents a huge percentage in the cutback of unconditional supportive presence.


Agreed! Every loss hurts badly. Aside from my T, I haven't got any support except from other survivors. I have my wife, but as she's not a survivor, her level of understanding isn't the same. She just can't know the pain and issues I feel inside. And all the survivors I know are exclusively online and through this site. I haven't gotten any local support at all :-(

So even the loss of one here can hurt many.


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#244689 - 08/15/08 11:16 AM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: JustScott]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
My thoughts and prayers are with Jarrad. I have missed his wit and his willingness to discuss any topic.

... regarding the statement

for all of it's good intentions, ms is no way ready to deal with the issues that come with being survivor who is 'other orientated'.

That is is not what I personally have experienced, though I completely understand the following feeling:

i seriously doubt if in our lifetime, we will ever be able to breathe comfortably the air of heterosexual bias

Jarrad - you are a true friend, a great individual, and I miss you.


M


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#244692 - 08/15/08 11:31 AM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: MarkK]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
When I first came to MS, Jarrad was willing to tell me exactly like it was with no sugar coating. I have missed that. He was willing to help me deal with a very personal issue in a compassionate, yet forthright, manner. I hope that he will be allowed back here. I agree with JustScott
"So even the loss of one here can hurt many."

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#244697 - 08/15/08 11:44 AM Re: News about Jarrad
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Originally Posted By: Lazarus


... regarding the statement

for all of it's good intentions, ms is no way ready to deal with the issues that come with being survivor who is 'other orientated'.

That is is not what I personally have experienced


yea, well i certainly expect only about 95% of agreement with that statement, so weighing in on it certain helps to support my point, in my mind, anyway, but there again that is disputable.

many people are at transitional stages in dealing with their own sexual identities here at male survivor, emotionally and sexually polarized in relationships that they may not have chosen prior to self-disclosure. we who had escaped into relationships to salve the pain of buried wounds as it was related to having been abused, must lie in the beds that seem to have been pre-ordained for us. for those, i am sure this has been a great place to find support while 'in progress' and in process of healing, while coming to terms with the baggage of sexual abuse.

myself, i am not struggling with my sexual identity, but i remember the time of conflict when i was, and i remember the needs i had at the time.

what i have learned thru my own process of enlightenment in recovery is that it is not me that does not 'fit in'. it is the culture that refuses to pull up and squeeze in a chair at the main table. we have tolerated being made to sit 'at the kids table' all our lives, and been expected to not balk about it.....well that's another issue, and i need to unpack that in another post.

but for now, we the 5% can respectfully disagree with the other 95% that there is or is not equity of longitude and latitude in terms of the balance of gender power here at ms.

respectfully,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#244708 - 08/15/08 12:04 PM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: Sans Logos]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
i knew opening my mouth even about my own experiences was going to get me in the muck (though why the quote says it's from Lazarus and not me i may never understand). i shall learn, some day, to keep my opinions to myself.

But, back to the initial spirit of this thread - I have missed and will continue to miss discussions with Jarrad, and am sorry to hear about his current circumstances.

M


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#244718 - 08/15/08 12:22 PM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: MarkK]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Well, Mark...I, for one, like to hear your opinions.

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#244724 - 08/15/08 12:30 PM Re: News about Jarrad [Re: Sans Logos]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ron,

Originally Posted By: Sans Logos
for all of it's good intentions, ms is no way ready to deal with the issues that come with being survivor who is 'other orientated'. an organization run by predominantly heterosexual men in a field of mental health does not necessarily spell understanding. compassion, yes, tolerance, yes.

Originally Posted By: Sans Logos
but for now, we the 5% can respectfully disagree with the other 95% that there is or is not equity of longitude and latitude in terms of the balance of gender power here at ms.

So far as I have heard in the Mod Forum and here on the Discussion Board your sentiments are not shared by the gay brothers who serve on our Board of Directors and ModTeam; their opinion is routinely sought any time a matter pertaining to gay survivors comes up. But if you have specific suggestions or criticisms please PM me and let me know, and we will see what we can do about them.

Larry, aka roadrunner
ModTeam Coordinator

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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