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#243866 - 08/11/08 09:29 AM Overcame fear.... and spoke up.....
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Not in an abuse situation per se.

Here's the deal.

Last Friday night my family and I went to our local town's carnival. They have fireworks on Friday night (which outdo all the areas 4th of July displays), so we went in, had some good carnival food, my son displayed an awesome amount of luck or intuitiveness (I'm not sure which) and won like $60 dollars worth of prizes with only a dollar fifty (he's only 7!!!!), then around 10:30 we went back out to our car and pulled out our chairs and plopped ourselves down right behind are car in true redneck fashion (although my wife insists that we're hicks and not red-necks. I don't consider myself either one because I'm a computer nerd who grew up in jersey).

So!! Here's where things get interesting.

We're sitting there, and directly across from us there is one open parking spot. We watch this guy pull in. He was all sorts of crooked, so he threw it into reverse and begins backing out in order to straighten up, but his right end swings toward the SUV on his right and he ends up scraping the whole back left corner of this guys vehicle with the front right side of his. He then pulls back into the spot, all sorts of nice and straight like. He gets out, chats with the people in the white station wagon to his left (don't know if he knew them or not), walks around the car, looks at the damage. His wife/girlfriend gets out, and they head on into the carnival. Like nothing happened.

Now, it gets even better! This guy comes back to his car THREE times. Each time to get something out of the car. And to talk to the people in the white station wagon. The 3rd time he comes back, the family who owns the car he hit were coming back to their car. So while this jerk was chatting with the people in the station wagon, I swallow my fear, walk up to the guy and asked him if he owned the SUV. He did, so I told him (quietly) that the guy on this left hit his car. He looked over and then said to me "that guy there" and I said yes. So him and his wife and their 2 kids were pulling their chairs out of their SUV and nonchalantly try to see the damage on their vehicle. While doing that, the SOB walks by them, chats with them about the cool weather for a few moments, and then walks away back to the carnival!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I and my wife were like WTF!!!! After the guy left, the owner pulled out a flashlight so he could see the damage on his vehicle. Then walked up to the front of the other guys car so we could see the matching damage on that guys car. So I ended up giving the guy my name and phone number so he could contact me as a witness if the police needed to get involved. I also whipped out my sweet LG EnV Orange and typed up a note with all the details and license plate numbers so I wouldn't forget anything.


I was more than a little nervous. More than a little afraid about getting involved, but I did it anyway!! It was fitting that Saturday night my wife and I were watching a movie (that I can't remember the name of) and one character was challenging another to get involved with a situation and he did so by telling the other guy that "There are two kinds of evil people in this world. People who do evil things, and people who see the evil being done and do nothing about it."


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#243869 - 08/11/08 09:46 AM Re: Overcame fear.... and spoke up..... [Re: JustScott]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Scott,

Good for you! I think you did exactly the right thing. Too often people think "It's not my business/my problem" and just walk on by. How many times has a child's abuse continued because good people suspected something but were afraid or too embarrassed to "get involved"? You should be really proud of what you did.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#243876 - 08/11/08 10:22 AM Re: Overcame fear.... and spoke up..... [Re: JustScott]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Originally Posted By: JustScott
(although my wife insists that we're hicks and not red-necks. I don't consider myself either one because I'm a computer nerd who grew up in jersey).


well that explains a lot! hahahaha!

===============================

that story is so surreal scott.

i can see you now, like a little kid pulling on his dad's pant leg: 'daddy, that man over there just crashed in that car' ROFL

i can actually feel the energy of the moment as i were there. too funny!

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#243886 - 08/11/08 11:12 AM Re: Overcame fear.... and spoke up..... [Re: Sans Logos]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
That's great, Scott!

It's very difficult for me to break out of the comforting shell of isolation, even though I know it's the right thing to do. I'm afraid of rocking the boat, probably because I learned early on that I'm responsible for the the stability of the boat at all costs and that it's my job to make everything OK -- and when things are not OK it's my fault and I'm a horrible person. Speaking up would bring these other people into my circle and make me responsible, and that would be very scary.

You did the right thing.

Dan

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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#243895 - 08/11/08 12:05 PM Re: Overcame fear.... and spoke up..... [Re: JustScott]
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
Scott,

You did the right thing and you did it in front of your wife and son. They should be proud of you too. Kids learn by what their parents do not what their parents say.

Take good care of yourself,

Steve

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

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#243955 - 08/11/08 05:19 PM Re: Overcame fear.... and spoke up..... [Re: Stephen_5]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Scott,

I am so proud of you for what you did on Friday.

I am sure your wife also feels the same toward you. You did what I think was the correct thing to do. Good for you!

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#244026 - 08/12/08 04:14 AM Re: Overcame fear.... and spoke up..... [Re: KENKEN]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Scott,

Way to go.
I am proud of you for standing up and doing what's right.
For your family,you, and the guy who's car was hit.

mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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