For the last 2 weeks i've been feeling

--irritable
--on edge
--wracked w/anxiety
--mood swings
--confrontational
--angry
--overwhelmed
--can't sleep
--can't sit still
racing thoughts
--always worried about most things
--worthless
--nothing to offer
--profuse sweating

i desperately want to take the edge off wether it be with drinking (i'm an alcoholic but not sure anymore)
and nothing i do settles me down.

Today i had an hour long massage and you'd think it was worth it , well it was alright but i sure wouldn't waste my time on it again.

I'm stressed all the time and i can't take much more of this....

this is how i have been feeling just today alone.....the average person who had a full body massge would be asleep or laying on the couch , where am i buried in front of the friggin computer yet again.

can it get much worse then this....im sure it can but i don't want to find out..?????

Coop

Are you seeing a therapist?

I know those symptoms. Feel them a lot myself. My psychiatrist gave me some xanax to help, but I haven't taken any yet.

I am here for you buddy. I think we all are.

Coop,

The worst thing, I think, that can be done is to try and numb the pain. I know these symptoms so well they might as well be tattooed on the skin of my brain.

The $64,000 question: What's causing the symptoms?

I'm here for ya.

Hi, Coop.
Yes my friend, an emotional trainwreck, it's a terrible thing. I had numbed my abuse feelings with alcohol too, for 21 years, while in the Air Force too, But I got in a serious car wreck and got counceling and help. BUT I DIDN'T TELL the REAL REASON why I was an alcoholic, My SECRET, CSA, but I kicked the alcohol, with the help of my HIGHER power, then my 4 year old son. Just yesterday I finally let this BOY crying inside for 55+ years out, to my CSA therapist. It's a tough fight, and we MEN usually have a just SUCK IT UP and MOVE ON MENTALITY, instead of admitting that we need help. I'm here for you too Coop. Most of us in one way or another have been there and done that. Get help NOW. You and I have 5500+ other mentors to help us, guide us. I sure hope that you and the rest of us CSA victims eventually get the serenity and peace that we so richly deserve. You have my heart and ear. The best to you.
Pete

coopstah

(((((((((((((((((((((Peace))))))))))))))))))))))))))


mgb

Hello Coop,

First, I want to say that I am sorry you are feeling this way. I think many of us on here share many of the same problems from time to time. For me, I tend to get those symptoms when I spend too much time by myself. I have learned that when I begin to feel this way, it is a clear sign that I am isolating myself and that I need to get involved with others. If no one is home, I go for a walk or to the store...just something to get my mind off of things for a little bit. Also, any type of exercise can help a great deal. I know for me, it is so easy to just sit behind the computer for long periods of time and shut myself off from the world. I am still trying to learn to balance MS time/computer time with family/personal time...it can be difficult at times. I think your idea of a massage was a good one. Maybe you didn't get the complete desired result you were looking for, but it is good way to try and relax. My therpist reminds all the time that you need to take care of your body if you want to be able to take care of your mind. I know you are tempted to use alcohol to take the edege off and help you relax, but think of the all of the days of soberiety that you worked so hard for. There are better and healthier ways of dealing with the anxiety. Maybe a combination of physical and deep breathing exercises will help. I even picked up a couple of CD's on yoga that were fun and relaxing. If you want I would be happy to send them to you..

The bottom line is we are here for you to help you get through this. The positive thing is you recognize all of the symptoms and you are taking steps to deal with them...now it is only a matter of time to find out what works for you. As was said in one of the other posts, you need to be able to feel and experience the emotions and not numb them.

I probably should have asked this first, but I don't recall if you said in past postings if you were seeing a therapist, but if you are not, that would be the best thing you could do. It is important not to numb your feelings. I know once I began to talk about problems with a therapist,the freedom to be able to release these emotions by talking to someone,face to face really helped to relieve the overwhelming feelings that I had.

Hopefully, it will be a bright sunny day where you live and you will be able to go outside and enjoy the beautiful day!

Dan

Hi, I'm back, the old man full of wisdom. Well it's been 24 hours since I let my SECRET out face to face with my therapist, but right now I'm getting bad signals, where is my euphoria at telling? Where is the feeling that a great weight has been lifted from my soul? Why am I still thinking about it? Why is my guts so wound up? I TOLD MY SECRET. I gusee that it's misery, (BOY inside crying) vs (man who told). I get choked up, but I don't let myself cry, never did. BOYS DON"T CRY right? We were bred to just suck it up and move on. Well it seems like I'm right back where I started, BOY inside crying, man outside choked up. I guess that we do a good job trying to drive ourselfs crazy, gotta get out of this page.
Pete