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#243148 - 08/08/08 09:03 AM new resource
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
I got this link from a colleague and she wanted to know what I think. I'd like your opinions of the site, whether it is useful, hyped up or what.

Could you take a look at:
http://healingthesurvivor.com/articles/

and let me know your opinions so I can pass it on?

Thanks,
Ken


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#243154 - 08/08/08 09:38 AM Re: new resource [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
ken i checked out the page and my first instinct is that it is hype. seems rather obvious that seth is trying to drum up some business for himself, and touting himself as an expert in the field of male survivors.

i get the feeling that he is playing to the most vulnerable aspects, the deepest insecurities of the male survivor in an exploitive manner. he seems to assume that male survivors are in need of 'reclaiming their masculinity'. i know for myself, that i definitely do not want to 'reclaim' some contrived notion of what makes a man. this seth-person is really just saying: here is the mold, and i can show you why you are not fitting into it. i am not a person who believes that there is one way to be, and that we all unique creatures, and that most of our problems stem from that fact that we cannot tame ourselves to align with the voices in our heads screaming a bunch of rules that we have somehow failed to measure up to the cultural mandate to be a certain way, to think a certain way, act a certain way.

these kinds of efforts just remind me of a veiled attempt to brainwash men who are already feeling set apart because our natural process for discovering our sexual selves was interrupted. feels like the whole ex-gay effort, only in this case, it smacks of the ex-wus 'ministry'.

that's my opinion, but then, i stopped a long time ago buying into the notion that 'i' need adjusted to conform with some set of cultural shoulds and shouldn'ts and i have no struggle with the fact that i don't want to be john wayne when i grow up.

thanks for the pointer,

ron
[ps, i apologize if that seems like paranoia or cynicism.....maybe it is.......go figure]

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#243156 - 08/08/08 10:22 AM Re: new resource [Re: Sans Logos]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Ken,

I think the concept of having a newsletter/resource/website that would provide Survivors with ways to identify the symptoms that result from their abuse and realistic ways/tools to deal with these problems is good. Not all Survivors live in areas where access to trained therapists is available. Also, many are not at the point where they feel comfortable discussing this with a therapist. This site appears to provides access to important information and some of the skills that are required to deal with you problems in a healthy manner...along the same lines of any self-help book. In my mind, I see it as resource that will hopeful steer you into the direction of seeking help and changing your life. It is hard to determine from the website the quality of the information or the professional services that are provided. But from the two articles that are on the web pages it would appear they are done a very professional manner and written in such a way that it would appeal to all age groups and is also easy to comprehend.

The website format seems to designed along the lines of the the Men's Health site. It provides some teaser information in order to stimulate additional interest.

Dan


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#243172 - 08/08/08 11:49 AM Re: new resource [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
My first thought is that this is a commercial site. I don't know Seth Lepore and he doesn't say much about his qualifications except by way of autobiographical comment on "how I got here", but his site is about promoting his business as a therapist/counselor.

A few further thoughts as I looked around:

1. Anyone interested in his site should first do a Google search for "Reiki Method" and see what they think.

2. I think a survivor needs to know right away that the abuse was not his fault. I didn't see that on his home page or elsewhere.

3. I don't think it's at all true that a phone session is as good or better than a face-to-face meeting, though yes, this point is crucial to his practice. I have had a few sessions with a therapist by phone, but that was with someone I had already met several times and knew rather well. I don't think it's a good idea to tell guys new to recovery that there is some short-cut around real therapy and the confidence-building that occurs in direct contact with a T. Our aim is to reclaim our lives in the real world of personal human interactions.

4. I checked up on the two people who give professional testimonials. One seems to be almost unknown and the other is a musician.

5. I read his article abut shame and wasn't impressed. It doesn't really help the survivor, but rather invites him to commit to a program with this healer.

6. In his short list of books he recommends Lew and Spiegel. Lew is the classic, sure, but Spiegel is a detailed summary of current research for professionals, not survivors. I use it when I'm looking for studies on a subject or for quick access to statistics or theoretical frameworks. I have never turned to it as a recovery tool (which is not to say that the info in the book isn't very important for recovery programs). A better recommendation would have been Mic Hunter's Abused Boys.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#243202 - 08/08/08 01:17 PM Re: new resource [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
My initial impressions are pretty much in line with Larry's; also, while i'm not against "alternate" therapies or treatments per se, it seems very irresponsible for the guy to be pushing his "unique system", with (a) no professional bona fides anywhere in sight, and (b) no referrals to any other forms of support, such as MS. In fact, the more i think about it, the more ticked off it makes me. Encouraging the whole phone thing seems like a calculated effort at maximizing income, while minimizing risk. I'm sure you know or have known instances of vulnerable people racking up thousands of dollars in bills by getting hooked on phone psychics, fortune tellers, sex lines, etc. (An ex-roommate of mine would call her psychic multiple times a day, even while owing over $5,000.) This guy's not a psychologist/psychiatrist, so it's not like he'd be worried about malpractice suits. Maybe i'm being too cynical, maybe the guy really does mean well, but there's a whiff of snake-oil in the air to me. In a world where scam artists have thrived through creating sites offering specifically to help scam victims (where of course they get ripped off again), to me it's perfectly possible that the only "personal growth" this guy's really interested in is his bank account.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#243207 - 08/08/08 01:28 PM Re: new resource [Re: dgoods]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
I agree with the above. I have looked into other therapies and my T has offered some alternatives, but for me the only way to get through it is to go through it. Going to hell and back and back again is very strengthening and healing. I worry that this alternative healing method may do more to solidify denial than be very beneficial. Just my opinion.

Lance


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#243238 - 08/08/08 02:54 PM Re: new resource [Re: roadrunner]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Larry, here's a link and here's another .
Quite the busy bee, isn't he?
Though i don't currently have a T, i doubt severely i would consider a voice coach/musician with New Age leanings, a website, and a phone to be an adequate substitute. But hey, that's just me...

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#243266 - 08/08/08 05:10 PM Re: new resource [Re: dgoods]
delta.tetra Offline
Member

Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 108
Loc: Netherlands
http://www.jimhopper.com/
http://www.trauma-pages.com/
just for contrast with the pages you linked Ken... serious stuff here! These guys don't have bad music on their myspace!


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#243279 - 08/08/08 06:14 PM Re: new resource [Re: delta.tetra]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
That jimhopper site is great (and a great example for "compare and contrast" to the Lepore site), thanks!

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#243281 - 08/08/08 07:22 PM Re: new resource [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Tinman Offline


Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I just visited this site and there IS a link to MS under resources.

After having been in therapy for a couple of years, I wouldn't stand next to this guy on a bus. I simply do not believe there is a substitute for the one on one in a therapists office. Not only does the therapist hear you, but they see the body language and expressions impossible on the phone.

In all, I find this to be too new age-y for me. Somebody mentioned bona fides. I'm with that. Two people (one of which is another new age "healer") is hardly a ringing endorsement.

Sorry, but no thanks. Sounds like a scam to me.

_________________________
Tinman
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

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