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#242837 - 08/06/08 08:42 PM My letter of forgiveness to my mother
ObiWan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Florida, USA
Dear Lucy,

In that you are dead, the only way that you will receive this letter is if it is delivered to you by God, where ever you are.

I want you to know that I forgive you.

What you did is not good, or right, or okay. I cannot change or undo one moment of it. I can only look at it and learn. And try to grow, and thrive, and help others in need.

I release you.

You are no longer the focus of my life. And while you stole my childhood, and up till age 40, my adulthood, you have died, and I am free. I am free to be who and what I am, not what you wanted me to be. I am no longer a baby elephant, tied by twine, I am now an enormous adult bull elephant, and the twine has been snapped.

God created me in his image, and while you tried hard to recreate me in yours, it didn't work.

I forgive, I let go, I release you.

May you find the peace you need, and may God give you exactly what you deserve.

Goodbye, Mother. I will fight with you no more forever.

Your always loving son,

Jeff

_________________________
WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008
WOR Alumni Alta Sept. 2008
My whole life has changed in the past year...
divorced, but have begun living again
and trying to thrive...


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#242840 - 08/06/08 08:46 PM Re: My letter of forgiveness to my mother [Re: ObiWan]
Gerald2007 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 157
Loc: Southeastern US
Jeff,
What a beatiful and courageous letter. I was moved by it.
Take care of yourself. Sounds like a break through.

Gerald

_________________________
Alumnus: Weekend of Recovery - Dahlonega, May 2008 and May 2009
We are bound together by the pain of the past and our hopes for the future.

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#243038 - 08/07/08 06:09 PM Re: My letter of forgiveness to my mother [Re: ObiWan]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Jeff,

What a touching and emotional letter of forgiveness. I can see both pain and release in every word. As I mentioned to you in chat yesterday, the line that got me most was your conclusion where you quoted Chief Joseph from his famous surrender speech..."I will fight no more forever". I don't know why but that evokes a very strong emotional reaction from me...to the point of tears.

I have visited the spot on the Snake River in Hell's Canyon where Chief Joseph and the remaining Nez Perce indians were forced out of their home land in the Wallow valley in Oregon across the treacherous Snake River into Idaho. The story of the Nez Perce is, indeed, very sad. Our individual struggles with the aftermath of horrid betrayal also is very sad.

Thank you Jeff for sharing your heart with us. You ARE a good man.

For reference, I have posted Chief Joseph's surrender speech in the Poetry forum.

Mike




Edited by Barkabus (08/07/08 06:21 PM)
_________________________
My Story

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#243040 - 08/07/08 06:14 PM Re: My letter of forgiveness to my mother [Re: Barkabus]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Jeff,

I'm glad you were able to write this letter to your mother, it sounds like it was a very healing thing for you to do. The tone of total release in it comes through clearly.

_________________________
Eddie

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#243094 - 08/07/08 11:15 PM Re: My letter of forgiveness to my mother [Re: Gerald2007]
ObiWan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Florida, USA
Hi Gerald,

Thank you for reading it and for your comments. I really appreciate hearing from you. It sure does feel like a breakthrough. I can't begin to tell you how much different I feel inside. I walked around with so much emotion in me for so long over what has happened, that I guess I just reached a point where it was time to let it go. And it came right out of my heart that way.

My mother's last words to me were: "Fight Jeffrey, fight". And hence my comment, I will fight no more forever.
It is done.

See you in the HC next week.

Jeff

_________________________
WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008
WOR Alumni Alta Sept. 2008
My whole life has changed in the past year...
divorced, but have begun living again
and trying to thrive...


Top
#243096 - 08/07/08 11:18 PM Re: My letter of forgiveness to my mother [Re: Barkabus]
ObiWan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 35
Loc: Florida, USA
Hi Mike,

Chief Joseph (my Grandfather was also named Joseph, and he was a courageous man as well) was one of my heroes when I studied history in Junior High School. That was a long time ago. But I have always remembered his words, which I paraphrased in my letter.

My mother's last words to me were: "Fight Jeffrey, fight". And hence my comment, I will fight no more forever.

I have not read Chief Joseph's speech for about 33 years now Mike, so thank you for posting it, I'll go and read it right now.

I really appreciate your reading it and your comments.

I'm sure you'll be great at Camp. Be sure to take care of little Mike, then and always,

All the Best,

Jeff

_________________________
WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008
WOR Alumni Alta Sept. 2008
My whole life has changed in the past year...
divorced, but have begun living again
and trying to thrive...


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