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#244922 - 08/16/08 07:55 AM Re: Can his guilt cause him to want a divorce? [Re: dangal]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, dangal, Robbie, well I am again in a turmoil (whats new)? I have been on this emotional roller coaster for the last month and a half. I try and deal with these emotions on these malesurvivor pages, and in the dark where nobody can see my pain and boy crying inside. I try and not to show it to my wife, but she knows me pretty well. Any way she has a birthday (71) on Tuesday, (coincedently) with my second therapy session. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she said ME. So now again comes the question, (yep I'm the one that said) not on my last breath. Well I hope that I'm not having my last breath. I told her that I'd give her my answer no later than Sunday PM. I know there are grave risks (not really understanding), but like some of the other helpful answers that I've seen when we got married we became "one". But it's more like she got only half. he is pretty sick in her own right and she keeps telling me that I make her sicker by not telling her what is truly wrong with me. Well time is running out for me to give her an answer. I hope that this boy inside will come clean. (sorry for rambling on) I'm a mess. Wishing you all well in your recovery.
Pete

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#245143 - 08/17/08 02:50 AM Re: Can his guilt cause him to want a divorce? [Re: petercorbett]
dangal Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/09/08
Posts: 222
Loc: seattle area
I hope you find a way to do what YOU feel is right. I wish this were easy. My heart hurts for you. Even if you can't tell her what's wrong, you CAN tell her that you DO love her (I've read on another thread that you said you did) and that what is going on with you has NOTHING to do with her. You can tell her that you had been hurt in your childhood, or keep it simple as I said, and just make sure she understands that she has not done anything to cause your pain.

In my thoughts. Keep us posted.

_________________________
~Jen~
Life is to short to blend in

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#245349 - 08/18/08 09:16 AM Re: Can his guilt cause him to want a divorce? [Re: dangal]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Well guilt towards the way that I have treated my wife (emotionaly) for 35 years hasen't dissappeared. She wanted ME for her birthday so I let out a bit of my secret to her, hmmm no respones, ok I'll give her time to sleep on it maybe in the morning I'll get some kind of response. Nope. Well at lunch today she aske me why I didn't tell her when we got married, well because these CSA thngs were buried deep in my brain and soul, and have in the last few months have resurfaced and especialy in the last 2weeks. So I said ok You wanted ME for your birthday, so I get my printed copy of My Secret My Story, (posted on another page) and went down the list of A BOY, explaining in detail on just what they all did to me, and things that I did to them, well no response, I didn't get any signal that she really understood on just who and what I am because of the CSA, emotionaly to her, but I sure did and still do show more emotions to my son (35) Grandkids (boys) 7&8. So I'll give her some time to let it soak in, but maybe it's PAYBACK time from her to me. Oh yep she's watching a "love" story soap opera on TV. Heal well my friends, maybe we'l get the serenity and peace that we all so richly deserve.
Pete

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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