My story does seem like much. I was never sexually abused at home. The only thing. that i can assoicate with sexual abuse, is sexually harressment in the locker rooms at school.
Well, my parents were going to have a divorce, and i had a hard time getting long with my dad at home. So, I wanted something better for myself. I was 20 years old and bought a ticket to Los Angeles. I had a room in a cheap motel for awhile. but, after three weeks. I move on to the streets.
In that period of time. I met up with a religious cult. As I was looking for a place to stay, which told me if I want to be pure I need to be sexual pure.
Here, does to the first sexual abuse. i was going to go to the bathroom. I was waiting for the right time to go to the spot where i slept at night. but, the bathroom was full of people.
so,i went back to my chair and desk where i was previously sitting. And a man I saw in the bathroom befriended me.
He was so nice to me. And prevented to care for me. And want to be my friend. Most of the time living on the streets no one cares about you and even mean.
I guess, i was not thinking. Something, that night wasn't working.
He told me that he was a massage therapist and what I needed was a massage. I was thinging sure, Massages costs money, and that was one luxary I didn't have to pay for. I didn't expect at first for him to go under my shirt. But, he was nice threw most of the time. He just pretended to give me a massage while in truth molesting me. He so nice, and he manipulated my emotions. that i didn't say no. He massaged my chest, then said massaging my stomach would clear the conjestion. I did clear the conjestion. And I did feel better in someday. And he send down to my admomdin put his hand just above or at the beginning of my underwear. Then, later I finially said NO!!
He went on the massage the parts of my body, he had alreayd
massage. And at that time, I knew that He just want to molested me or Now think Try one some kinky massage with people who looked like young kids.
At the end, when he stoped. He claimed that I was too stressful and the massage was causing the energy of my stress to be transfered to his hands.
But, threw it all. I did say No! to some thing. But, I want to make what he had already down right. I want to justify what he did as Okay!! I wanted to justify it.
But, when I could think about it. I knew that his person manipulated me like a young child, for his own sexual purposes.
I didn't want the connection with a massage with sex.
The reason I was manipulated. is that
I didn't get much sleep in days, and was emotionally needy.
I just was going threw so much that I wasn't thinking right.
That was the first event of SA while I was homeless. there are a few others.
When I think of it now. I hate myself that I ever became homeless. Its hard to deal with.
It was the classical case of a kid getting molested in a store. Just, I was over aged. But, to out of it. and the abuse happened so fast before I could really think about it. It was over. And I want to justify it. And I want to justify someone betting nice to me. I didn't think of the motive.
This is just one of the abuses.