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#242556 - 08/05/08 05:36 PM New
sandman Offline


Registered: 08/05/08
Posts: 11
Hi all, I am new to the site and a little nervous. Heard about abusers stalking these sites looking for prey. Anyways I am Sandman aka Chris.


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#242560 - 08/05/08 05:41 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Hi Chris, and welcome to MS.org! This is an incredible site full of men dealing with their recovery. I hope you find it as beneficial as I have, though I will admit I am saddened that yet another person shows up needing a place like this.

But, as long as there is one in need, I pray this site continues to stand as a beacon to those out there - there IS hope.

Welcome to the road from victim to victory.

M&m


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#242561 - 08/05/08 05:45 PM Re: New [Re: MarkK]
sandman Offline


Registered: 08/05/08
Posts: 11
Hi M&M,

Thanks for the welcome. I have only very recently began to tell my wife about my abuse and abusers. I came here looking for some guidance and perhaps some support regarding CSA. I was 9 - 15 while being abused. My own mother denied it ever happend (I believe to protect the abuser) I am now fully decided that I am going to do everything in my power to support victims of CSA and to receive treatment myself. I look forward to further discussions with you and all the other members. Thank god there is a place like this available to the victims.

Regards,

Sandman aka Chris


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#242562 - 08/05/08 05:45 PM Re: New [Re: MarkK]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
Hi Chris,

Welcome aboard and hope you meet lots of good people here. I was really nervous when i first came here but i'm not nervous anymore, hope it helps you.

KT

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#242563 - 08/05/08 05:45 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Chris,
I want to welcome you to m/s.
there are alot of great guys who are willing to help.
I haven't run across any abuser here.
It took alot of courage to post here.
Take your time and check it out.

mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#242564 - 08/05/08 05:46 PM Re: New [Re: michael banks]
sandman Offline


Registered: 08/05/08
Posts: 11
Thanks alot Mike. ;\)


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#242566 - 08/05/08 05:53 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: sandman
I am now fully decided that I am going to do everything in my power to support victims of CSA and to receive treatment myself.


Hey Chris,

Welcome to MS...glad you found us. Take it all at your own comfortable pace.

Oh...and...new guys have to bring the coffee and cookies. Sorry...but its a rule.

_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#242570 - 08/05/08 05:56 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 860
Loc: washington
Sandman,

Welcome...!!! At some point a moderator (guardian angel) will welcome you. There are guidelines on giving out personal info.

More importantly, you have nothing to fear here. The first book I read on the subject of sexual abuse happened to be directed toward women. It said,"Now that you have the courage to heal,know that you can." (Laura Davis)

There are alot of great people hear, and a wealth of information to be had.

The best revenge is living a good life. Congratulations on taking the first step.

Don't be nervous.



STAND UP AND BE COUNTED.

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#242571 - 08/05/08 05:58 PM Re: New [Re: Still]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
you forgot to tell him about Hawaiian shirt thursdays and book reading in the gentleman's lounge on wednesday evenings whilst we smoke cigars and listen to roadrunner read articles of his choosing lol

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#242572 - 08/05/08 05:59 PM Re: New [Re: king tut]
sandman Offline


Registered: 08/05/08
Posts: 11
lmao! cool!


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#242581 - 08/05/08 06:16 PM Re: New [Re: king tut]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: king tut
you forgot to tell him about Hawaiian shirt thursdays and book reading in the gentleman's lounge on wednesday evenings whilst we smoke cigars and listen to roadrunner read articles of his choosing lol


Still got that koolaid stain on the Hawaiian shirt from last week's food fight with you.

And Roadrunner said I could choose this weeks reading. Its gonna be a selection from an academic periodical (peer-reviewed of course) about metallurgy and practical uses of aluminum in heat-shields for toy manufacturers (and the funny way Brits say “Aluminum”).



_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#242586 - 08/05/08 06:20 PM Re: New [Re: Still]
sandman Offline


Registered: 08/05/08
Posts: 11
Food Fight! Ohhhhh no!


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#242588 - 08/05/08 06:22 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
sandman Offline


Registered: 08/05/08
Posts: 11
Thanks again all for the Great welcome!


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#242591 - 08/05/08 06:32 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hello, Chris, and welcome to the MS site. I'm glad you found this site to help in your healing journey. As you've already seen, there's a pretty friendly bunch of guys here who will make you feel welcome. You will be understood and heard here amongst men who know what it's like to walk a similar path that you have been walking.

Talk as much as you want, when you want, do some reading, and settle in. And again, welcome! \:\)

_________________________
Eddie

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#242647 - 08/05/08 09:04 PM Re: New [Re: EGL]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Quote:
and listen to roadrunner read articles of his choosing

Just for that, here's the topic of my next reading: "A New Volume of Hungarian Essays by Ignaz Goldziher". \:D I actually did write this article! lol It was published last year I think.

Seriously, Chris, welcome to the site. As you can see you will indeed be welcomed and supported here. We have a great community here on the site and we're glad to have you join us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#242649 - 08/05/08 09:21 PM Re: New [Re: roadrunner]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
Just for that, here's the topic of my next reading: "A New Volume of Hungarian Essays by Ignaz Goldziher". \:D I actually did write this article! lol It was published last year I think.


Yes, I know Larry. We were just discussing it last week...dont you recall? I think you said: Though best known for his formative and decisive contributions to the field of Arab-Islamic studies, the Hungarian orientalist Ignaz Goldziher also had a considerable impact on the field of Jewish studies. His first publication, at the age of twelve, already reveals his interests in the history of Judaism and its prospects in the modern world, and his doctoral dissertation, prepared as a teenager working under the supervision of the great H. L. Fleischer in Leipzig on the thirteenth-century Jewish philologist and exegete Tanūm ben Joseph Yerūshalmī, already displays its author as “a very distinguished scholarly mind”. His first extended monograph dealt with issues concerning the function and importance of mythology among the ancient Israelites, and further, with the anti-Semitic and racist theories of European scholars and intellectuals like Ernest Renan.

But lets not get started on Ernest Renan!! LOL \:\) We'll be up all night!!!

_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#242650 - 08/05/08 09:26 PM Re: New [Re: Still]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Oh man, I knew I'd regret missing last week's reading! Dern it! My loss. \:\(

_________________________
My Story

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#242658 - 08/05/08 09:47 PM . [Re: Barkabus]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 06:13 PM)

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#242661 - 08/05/08 09:56 PM Re: New [Re: roadrunner]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
Quote:
and listen to roadrunner read articles of his choosing

Just for that, here's the topic of my next reading: "A New Volume of Hungarian Essays by Ignaz Goldziher". \:D I actually did write this article! lol It was published last year I think.


October 2007, Vol. 17, Part 4, to be exact. Larry (fellow historian) sent me a copy and I have to say, he never ceases to amaze me. \:\) Just don't ask him to play guitar. You'll never hear the end of it. \:D

_________________________
Eddie

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#242665 - 08/05/08 10:06 PM Re: New [Re: Barkabus]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Welcome to the site Sandman. Wasn't a Sandman slang for a cop in the movie Logan's Run? I know, I'm sort of giving away my age with that one. I like any good, strong high-quality European coffee since you're buying.

Robbie: Who does your hair? It looks a lot better since you got it cut!!!

When it is my turn to pick the weekly reading and discussion topic how does the history of heavy naval warfare of the Great War sound?



_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#242670 - 08/05/08 10:21 PM Re: New [Re: Trucker51]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: Trucker51
Robbie: Who does your hair? It looks a lot better since you got it cut!!!


You like? I had my electrician do it this time.

_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#242675 - 08/05/08 10:37 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
Happy Birthday jggab Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/29/08
Posts: 53
Loc: California
Chris,
Welcome! I've only been on for a few days. . . but I've known about the site for several months. I was just too chicken to log on. . . I wish I would have logged on months ago. You are in the right place! Everyone I've met so far have been absolutly wonderful!!!

Again. . .Welcome!

Jon


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#242696 - 08/06/08 12:18 AM Re: New [Re: jggab]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
Chris (and Jon),

Welcome to MS! I'm glad you found us!

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#242721 - 08/06/08 08:10 AM Re: New [Re: sandman]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
No one told me about Hawaiian Shirt Thrusdays when I came. Huh? Anyway, Chris, it is great to have you here. I have been here since May. It has changed my life. There have been very tough times like currently, but I have my MS Brothers to pull me up and out. These men are heroes. They get up every morning and make the day happen. They take care of families and hold down jobs or whatever. Some, like I used to be, were homeless and need our understanding and compassion. You will find many wonderful and great men here. If there were abusers here, I wouldn't be. We're here for you. Talking to your wife about this is vital. She can be a great support to you on your long journey. At times the journey doesn't seem to end and you need all the support you can get.

Lance


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#242723 - 08/06/08 08:21 AM Re: New [Re: LW1527]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
Hi Chris,
Welcome aboard, for the ride of your life. I'm a new guy, about two weeks or so, here is a place where I've found REAL FRIENDS all 5500+ of them, we've been there and are now trying to deal with it, I have gotten lots of encouragement, help on just how to try and cope with telling my SECRET for the first time in my 69 years on earth. If you are interested go to the survivor stories page and read what came into my mind at PTSD CSA +60, My SECRET My Story. Again welcome. Have no fear. Heal well. I came to the right place.
Pete

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#242744 - 08/06/08 11:30 AM Re: New [Re: sandman]
bobbyp68 Offline


Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 2
HI I was abused when i was 6-8 I have always remembered it but it never gave me any grief "I thought" I am in my second marriage and the issues that are destroying it I am now finding out, that they are a direct result of the abbuse. I am new and very lost with dealing with this.I have opened up and told some family and my wife. I am tired of the fight I go through every day with this. Mayby I can find something here. Thanks BOBBY


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#242767 - 08/06/08 01:53 PM Re: New [Re: bobbyp68]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Hi Bobby, welcome to our site and discussions. I think that you will find that our group is a caring and supportive group that will listen and believe your story. Remember, the abuse wasn't your fault. Unresolved over time, the memories of it will begin to affect your every move, as you take a somewhat different development path than those unaffected by CSA. You have taken a huge step forward trusting us.

Have hope,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#242823 - 08/06/08 07:37 PM Re: New [Re: bobbyp68]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Hi Bobby,

Welcome! I am glad you found us. You will quickly find that you are not alone here. We've all got similar stories. Though we are all at different places in our recovery, we are all on the same journey. Thank you for sharing your story with us in the Survivor Stories forum. The guys here are great. They are very supportive and very willing to lend you a helping hand.

I'm sorry you needed to find this site but now that you are here, please have a look around, read through the forums. There is A LOT to read! And I see that you have also found the chat room. it was good to see you there.

Be well.

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#242894 - 08/07/08 01:07 AM Re: New [Re: Barkabus]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Hey Bobby! Welcome.

_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#242895 - 08/07/08 01:10 AM Re: New [Re: Still]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hello, Bobby, and welcome to MS! I'm glad you found your way to this healing place. It's good to hear that you're opening up and talking about this to those around you, it's really an important step to the recovery process.

_________________________
Eddie

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#242899 - 08/07/08 01:45 AM Re: New [Re: EGL]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Hi Bobby- sorry you have the need to join us, but happy that you're here; this site didn't happen by accident, and neither did your arrival. I hope you find a story close enough to your own that you want to stick around.... There's so much honesty and support here that's given me more than i ever expected. If you ever wondered about if there was ever people feeling alone like you, this is the place; as stupid as it may sound , you are truly not alone! Maybe not me, but somebody here has been through what you have also. Don't give up!

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#243048 - 08/07/08 07:16 PM Re: New [Re: sandman]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Welcome Sandman, like the name. Reminds me of my Spiderman days.

I know first hand that you will enjoy what you get out of this site.

Have a great day,

John Oarc

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#243875 - 08/11/08 10:19 AM Re: New [Re: EGL]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
Hi Chris & Bobby.
In my earlier welcoming comments about the ride of your life, well it's going to be a roller coaster ride. After I had my first session with my therapist, and letting my SECRET out for the first time, face to face with another person, I "felt great" after talking to him. But on the next day I was right back where I started, I was in deep depression, I just couldn't believe that I didn't feel great, after all I finally told my SECRET. What! no great feeling of releif? No great feeling like a great weight had been lifted from the depths of my soul? I stayed in that mode, like I haden't even started dealing with with it yet. So my friends beware, we are on a roller coaster, I have to realise that I can no longer keep running away from myself. I have met the enemy and it's me. So stick with it, maybe some day we all will get some serenity and peace of soul that we all so richly deserve.
Pete

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


Top
#243877 - 08/11/08 10:26 AM Re: New [Re: petercorbett]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2578
I'll agree and echo with Pete here. I've been in therapy near 7 months now, and my wife knows, that the night I get home from a session, I'm gonna be in a great and awesome mood! But the next day..... watch out!

It does feel good to get things out, but highs are almost always followed by a low. In time though, the highs and lows, just like on a real world roller coaster, don't get so insanely drastic anymore.

Keep on riding! It really is worth the effort.

And a note to Pete. You aren't "right back where you started." You started with never having really put your secret out there. Now you have. You've made some progress! It's really just one little step at a time, but as long as you keep making those steps, you'll always be farther ahead than when you started.


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