Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueturtle (46), David C (40), DavidC (40), Derdlecar (61), Hector (54)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 16 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63361 Topics
443057 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#24219 - 09/26/06 02:08 AM why???
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
i read all of the post ..and i start to cry..not really cry as i cant do that ..get teery eyed..all of these emotions pop up...i thought i was over this..yet it feels like i need to get more out..why do i feel addictive to comming here.and reading these post....they make me feel so sad and lonley...i dont want to feel..have spent years not feeling..yet i still come here...you all have developed such good friendships..here...i think maybe i would like to try and be a friend..and maybe have one.....sorry for ranting on Steve


Top
#24220 - 09/26/06 02:25 AM Re: why???
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Steve,

You have so much in those six lines, but can I pick up on just two points that might help you?

Survivors spend years suffocating their feelings, as you say, but those feelings are precisely where our problems lie, and hence where our recovery lies as well. It's essential gradually to allow yourself to feel again. It will be rough at first, since once you really let go everything can just flood out, but hang in there. It DOES get better.

On friendship here, yes, you are right in noting a lot of personal connections on the site. Rather like real life I suppose. There isn't any reason at all why you wouldn't be able to establish the same sort of relationships as you get into things and post and talk to people.

I'm glad you bring up the subject, actually, for the reason that it's something you are concerned about. You are stating your needs, and that's one of the most important things we have to do but often find difficult. \:\)

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#24221 - 09/26/06 02:53 AM Re: why???
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
thanks larry


Top
#24222 - 09/26/06 03:18 AM Re: why???
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Hey Steve,

I just wanted you to know that many folks get addicted to coming here. I found this place as regular joe-survivor around 2001... I'm still here, just a little more involved.

Everything you are feeling is normal, so try not to be too tough on yourself.

Later


Top
#24223 - 09/26/06 03:19 AM Re: why???
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Steve,
Gotta say, I've had a huge shortfall of friends in my life even though I was always the life of the party, the outgoing one. I've aborted every attempt made to make a real friend. Just learning how to do it now. This place is a great place to start to learn to trust since we all share the same deep, dark secrets we all strove to keep hidden. I'll bet any of us will welcome your friendship.
Paul


Top
#24224 - 09/26/06 09:32 AM Re: why???
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Steve,

sometimes it can be hard to read stuff and not be able to respond to whoever wrote it.
You can always take a break if you want to.

Its damn hard to find real 'friends', but you will,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#24225 - 09/27/06 12:41 AM Re: why???
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
thanks all...i know it takes time...got to start somewhere...i started this once then droped it..figured i had enough..yet here i am back...i am glad i found this site..and glad it is here and all ofyou..sorry that a place like this has to be yetglad it is thanks all steve


Top
#24226 - 09/30/06 04:34 AM Re: why???
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I have a friend here who did not feel for years, during and after the abuse. I think it is a natural thing to want to shut all that down.

The friendships you see here, they are developed, over time. There are people here who do not know each other at all, who still respond with respect and understanding. But the true 'friendships', that is over time. The longer you are here, the more often youcome to here and to chat, the more you talk with the same people, the more friendship will develop. It does and will happen.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.