i read all of the post ..and i start to cry..not really cry as i cant do that ..get teery eyed..all of these emotions pop up...i thought i was over this..yet it feels like i need to get more out..why do i feel addictive to comming here.and reading these post....they make me feel so sad and lonley...i dont want to feel..have spent years not feeling..yet i still come here...you all have developed such good friendships..here...i think maybe i would like to try and be a friend..and maybe have one.....sorry for ranting on Steve

Steve,

You have so much in those six lines, but can I pick up on just two points that might help you?

Survivors spend years suffocating their feelings, as you say, but those feelings are precisely where our problems lie, and hence where our recovery lies as well. It's essential gradually to allow yourself to feel again. It will be rough at first, since once you really let go everything can just flood out, but hang in there. It DOES get better.

On friendship here, yes, you are right in noting a lot of personal connections on the site. Rather like real life I suppose. There isn't any reason at all why you wouldn't be able to establish the same sort of relationships as you get into things and post and talk to people.

I'm glad you bring up the subject, actually, for the reason that it's something you are concerned about. You are stating your needs, and that's one of the most important things we have to do but often find difficult.

Much love,
Larry

thanks larry

Hey Steve,

I just wanted you to know that many folks get addicted to coming here. I found this place as regular joe-survivor around 2001... I'm still here, just a little more involved.

Everything you are feeling is normal, so try not to be too tough on yourself.

Later

Steve,
Gotta say, I've had a huge shortfall of friends in my life even though I was always the life of the party, the outgoing one. I've aborted every attempt made to make a real friend. Just learning how to do it now. This place is a great place to start to learn to trust since we all share the same deep, dark secrets we all strove to keep hidden. I'll bet any of us will welcome your friendship.
Paul

Steve,

sometimes it can be hard to read stuff and not be able to respond to whoever wrote it.
You can always take a break if you want to.

Its damn hard to find real 'friends', but you will,

ste

thanks all...i know it takes time...got to start somewhere...i started this once then droped it..figured i had enough..yet here i am back...i am glad i found this site..and glad it is here and all ofyou..sorry that a place like this has to be yetglad it is thanks all steve

I have a friend here who did not feel for years, during and after the abuse. I think it is a natural thing to want to shut all that down.

The friendships you see here, they are developed, over time. There are people here who do not know each other at all, who still respond with respect and understanding. But the true 'friendships', that is over time. The longer you are here, the more often youcome to here and to chat, the more you talk with the same people, the more friendship will develop. It does and will happen.

Leosha