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#241524 - 07/31/08 11:36 AM A Bad Man - Maybe Triggering
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Twelve years ago when I was 16, there was very big man who grabbed me in the rest room at the beach, threw me into a stall and raped me. Every time I see someone who fits that de>

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#241527 - 07/31/08 11:54 AM Re: A Bad Man - Maybe Triggering [Re: LW1527]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Lance,

I have the same question and hope some one can help. When I see little blond hair boys with glasses that look like I did when I was being abused, I have to leave wherever I am immediately. I was in a restaurant recently and a mom with 2 boys sat down next to me. I had to get up and leave even before I had ordered my food.

I disassociate and my memories go back to that little child. As you said, the pain and hurt come back. I have not found the coping skills I need to move on.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#241531 - 07/31/08 12:30 PM Re: A Bad Man - Maybe Triggering [Re: KENKEN]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
I get into this a LOT with slightly built men that have salt and pepper hair. The hair is the most prominent feature I can remember about my perp for some reason.
As for it going away or coping with it, I don't have any suggestions because I still can't, even after years of therapy and meds. But I thought I would add my voice here in a show of support.

Brian

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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#241539 - 07/31/08 01:19 PM Re: A Bad Man - Maybe Triggering [Re: LN3(SS)]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Yeah, maybe this is just our "normal" and we will have this the rest of our lives. Thanks for your input, guys.

Lance


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#241551 - 07/31/08 01:54 PM Re: A Bad Man - Maybe Triggering [Re: LW1527]
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
Lance,

It might be common among survivors. When I first started dealing with my CSA issues I used to get triggered just seeing a younger boy and an older boy walking down a street; I just knew that the younger boy was being abused by the older one. That was my perspective then but I realize that I was projecting my history onto them. It does lessen over time especially if you can talk it out with a good therapist and really delve into the feelings that were involved at the time of the original event in your own past. Those feelings of helplessness that I felt as a kid used to haunt me in high anxiety situations totally unrelated to abuse.

Take good care of yourself,

Steve

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

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