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#240837 - 07/28/08 09:25 PM WTF?
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Ever since I have come forward with what happened to me when I was 4 my life has gone to shit. For those of you that don't know my story, I put the guy that did this to me prison, 30 years after it happened.

Anyway, let me tell everyone what I'm going through.

1. My so called family was so happy to be there in the beginning and support me.

Well, they do not call me anymore and my father I will never have anything to do with.

2. The girlfriend, she is gone.

3. I feel less of a man.

4. I live in a small town and I feel everyone that knew me, knows what happened to me.

Wow.

Unfuckingreal.

I wish I would have never came forward.

I do believe there is a god.

However, why the fuck does he let this happen to us?

This is what I get for trying to help other people.


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#240846 - 07/28/08 09:38 PM Re: WTF? [Re: Dude.]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Hey Dude, just feelin ya Brother. I hear you.

It's not for any of them, it's for you. I learned recently that selfish (an issue I felt for so long) is not that bad, it has "self" in it and that is what we have been missing for so long.

Take care of your"self", you've given enough to others.
We've all given far too much.

Stay strong
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#240884 - 07/28/08 11:24 PM Re: WTF? [Re: mogigo]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11181
Loc: Denver, CO
Dude,

This is all so rotten and saddening. \:\( I wish so much we did not have to pay anymore prices for something we didn't even ask for so long ago.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#241135 - 07/29/08 08:18 PM Re: WTF? [Re: mogigo]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Thanks.

This is a tough thing to go through. I was better when I just shut out the memories and acted like it never happened.


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#241142 - 07/29/08 08:33 PM Re: WTF? [Re: Dude.]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
You and I are in the same place Dude. I wish I had never disclosed ( My Disclosure was a Mistake Post)

Even though I'm seeing progress such as forgiveness etc, I still maintain my position that the disclosure was a BIG mistake. I'd rather have my old-mode back (from what I remember of it).

But you are not alone in this aspect.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#241154 - 07/29/08 08:57 PM Re: WTF? [Re: Still]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Thanks for finding that Rob. That is great advice to anyone contemplating disclosure. Here is another one: What happens if A-B-C, etc. happen, and how will you handle it if it does??? Where will you turn for help and support? What are the risks and are they worth taking. What is the worst case scenario? What happens then?

Larry was talking about the risks of disclosure today and he said that that information is something that you own. You need to be very careful over who you share it with, and Mic Hunter says that it is better to wait until the final recovery stage to disclose in most cases. He lays out his reasons why disclosure is risky in his book ABUSED BOYS.

Sorry to hear of your problems with disclosure too, Dude. Feel free to call on me anytime that you want to talk. I too had a really rough time of it when my first wife found out, and like Rob, I have had a number of friends that I never have seen again since told them back in the 1980s. After my first wife left me I went on a 7-year bender where I just didn't care, that almost killed me a dozen times.

There are people on here that do care about each other, especially when one of us is hurting.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#241191 - 07/29/08 09:53 PM Re: WTF? [Re: Still]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Hopefully it will get better, that's what I keep telling myself. I do know one one thing, that fucker is in prison and his life along with his family's life's have gone to shit.


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