Newest Members
RodrigoBR, MJ545, Marant, BeingFound, journey4two
12332 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueelectron9 (48), Grunty1967b (2014), highflight (42), jocks44 (54), kitm1 (47), Porrick (44)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 25 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12332 Members
74 Forums
63413 Topics
443353 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#240548 - 07/27/08 02:03 PM I FORGIVE THEM
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I do not intend this as material for debate. I do not post this in a "you should too" mode. I have posted SO much here about my un-willingness to forgive the perps and to forgive the town and to forgive humanity, that I feel I ought to post my new view on it. I also want you all to know my heart just lost a 40lb weight as well.

Many of you know my story and know that I have progressed from wanting revenge to refusing to forgive them. I eventually realized that revenge, by my hands, is me telling God I don't trust he'll do an adequate job at dealing with them. Non-forgiveness takes a similar position. In addition, it is me telling Jesus that I am more deserving of forgiveness than they are. Furthermore, if Jesus will forgive them upon their request, who am I to not forgive.

I learned today that I do not truly forgive them if I don’t wish them well...that if I wish devastation and pain upon them, I have not truly forgiven. I agree. So I also wish them well.


So here it is:

Dean
John
Jeffrey
Mark

I forgive you for what you did to me. I need to seek no explanations, no justifications, no spin. I forgive you and wish you well.

To my little home town:

You seem to be actively in the same mode that you were in when I was being hurt. I hope and pray that you change for the better. I know there are other children in the same position I was in. I hope and pray you will become an aid to them...a rescuer. You are what you are. You were what you were. I forgive you and wish you well.

Thank you Lord for thrusting me into this new view and willing forgiveness.


_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#240560 - 07/27/08 03:41 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: Still]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
This is an amazing post, Rob.

I just want to share a little about my recovery that falls directly along these lines.

Every once in a while, even these days, I run across a new aspect of my personality that I feel the need to forgive my mother for. I need to forgive myself first for having the personality trait, and then I need to forgive my mother for passing the trait on to me. Each time this comes up, the process becomes easier.

I can say with absolute sincerity that I forgive my mother for all of that I am aware of that she has done to me. I have a desire to forgive her for all of the things she has done to me that I have yet to find out. It never came easy for me, but when you say, "I also want you all to know my heart just lost a 40lb weight as well." I can totally relate. It is because of that 40 lb weight that I find forgiveness necessary.

I have to say, "congratulations", and thank you so much for sharing.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#240563 - 07/27/08 04:07 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: Still]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Wow Rob! I am honored to be here to see you come to this point. This is a mighty huge step you have taken today.

You GO! Dude!

Mike

_________________________
My Story

Top
#240565 - 07/27/08 04:35 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: Barkabus]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Rob,
You have release yourself from one of the chains that keeps us in bondage.
You are an inspiration!
Your brother in CHRIST.
mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

Top
#240576 - 07/27/08 05:57 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: michael banks]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
{{{{{Rob}}}}}

I hope this is a turning point, Rob. Holding onto the hatred of the abusers and wishing terrible things upon them because of what they did to me was destroying me inside. It appears as if you came to that same point of discovery and knew you had to let it go. I'm pleased to see this moment come for you.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#240594 - 07/27/08 06:55 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: WalkingSouth]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11055
Loc: Denver, CO
"I learned today that I do not truly forgive them if I don’t wish them well..."

Goodness, Rob, what a step! It takes some time to get to where we can impart that kind of grace, yes?

\:\)

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#240623 - 07/27/08 10:31 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: FormerTexan]
Pete2004 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 958
Loc: North Carolina
Rob:

Wow! You have learned and experienced a powerful and eternal truth.... This truth transends distance and time.

Forgiveness releases the forgiver.

Your post is making me look into my own heart and evaluate my own attitudes towards others.

Thank you for sharing this with us,

Peter

_________________________
There is a destiny that makes us brothers;
No one goes his way alone;
What we send into the lives of others,
comes back into our own. (Edwin Markham)

Top
#240634 - 07/27/08 11:19 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: Pete2004]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
WHAT GOT ME THERE TODAY - after wrestling with this for a LONG time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVBi7Va1Yf4&feature=related



_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#240882 - 07/28/08 11:04 PM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: Still]
Pete2004 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 958
Loc: North Carolina
Robbie:

This is incredible as well as powerful! Thanks for sharing it. So is the one that follows as well......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbUT23OvTf8&NR=1

Thanks for pointing me to them.

Peter

_________________________
There is a destiny that makes us brothers;
No one goes his way alone;
What we send into the lives of others,
comes back into our own. (Edwin Markham)

Top
#240915 - 07/29/08 06:18 AM Re: I FORGIVE THEM [Re: Pete2004]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rob,

You give me a lot to think about. I have always sworn that i would NEVER forgive the perp for what he did to me - not ever. I would write him out of my life, but forgiveness? Yeah, right.

You're making me look at things in a different way and I'm thinking I need to do that. I have no idea where I will go with this, but thanks for getting me started!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.