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#240453 - 07/26/08 08:06 PM good artical on gang rape
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
http://www.pandys.org/gangrape.html

This really describes some of my feelings, especially the stuff about people in the same room doing nothing, humiliation and dissociation.

the odd thing about the audience bit though, is while I'd certainly agree I'm happier with much smaller groups of people, and do not like crowds (crowds of kids will! make me nervous), I'm quite happy to get up onto a stage in front of people, ----- on a few occasions close to 2000 people, and sing or act at them, ---- on a few occasions in a really major way.

In fact on stage, in front of an audience I've been able to do things with physical contact and affection that I'd never! be able to do individually.

last august, I even had the entire female chorus clustered around me, some leaning on my back, my arms around a couple, when i was playing Edwin in Trial by jury in front of 2000 people. yes, i felt bothered about this, but there was no time for me to be upset sinse the hole production had to be put together in three days.

Yet now, the thought of having that many girls round me makes me feel sick!

sorry for the wrant, ---- I'll admit this is one of those not so good nights.


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#240487 - 07/27/08 12:33 AM Re: good article on gang rape [Re: dark empathy]
jcf1957 Offline
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Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Dark Empathy;

Don't feel sorry for the rant. your just expressing yourself.
Which is human.

Thanks for the article. I too am a victim of being gang-raped at gunpoint. In the long aftermath perhaps the worst part of all this is the feeling of utter loneliness.
I guess no matter how well you try to articulate a brutal gang rape experience especially when looking at it inwardly from our own prospective as being the actual victim; it is so difficult to describe the inexpressibility of pain.
For me it seems that I can never adequately relate the full detailed scope of the brutal afflicted horrors and unceasing pain, accompanied with frightful nightmares and flashbacks to someone else whether they be a close friend, a wife, or even a shrink. No shrink could possibly know in exacting reality what a victim of a brutal gang-rape has gone through. Sympathize ? Yes. But actually know, and physically and psychologically experience first hand and feel your soul being ripped from your being ? Never !!!
Being raped doesn't just violate one's physical body, but; more profoundly it rapes the psyche, the heart, and the human soul.
Language cannot communicate such an intensely private experience of pain.


Pain is also unsharable in that it is resistant to human language. All our interior states of consciousness, emotional, perceptual, cognitive, and somatic can be described as having an object in the external world. This affirms our capacity to move beyond the boundaries of our body in the external, sharable world. This is the space where we interact and communicate with our environment. But; when we explore the interior state of physical pain we find there is no object "out there". No external referential content. Pain is not of, or for, anything.
PAIN IS. And it draws us away from the space of interaction, the sharable world, inwards. It draws us into the profound boundaries of our soul.

I know this all too well. I know that I will take all this wretchedness and stigma to my death-bed. Am I obsessed over
this ? Perhaps ! Other people can judge me as they wish. Websters or Cambridge Dictionaries may define and categorize PAIN in whatever lexicographical form it deems adequate. However; if you ask any rape victim embroiled inside their own affliction to define pain, they will say that pain is inexplicable.

Next month August 25th I earmark another anniversary ("Thirty Years") since my gang rape at gunpoint. I wish I could truly say life is getting better. But then; perhaps I would be lying to myself. Recovery is a life-long journey. Not sure if I will have the strength to see the end....PEACE AT LONG LAST

Dark Empathy; I totally understand where your coming from.
Take Care Chris.







Edited by jcf1957 (07/27/08 11:33 AM)
_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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#240488 - 07/27/08 12:55 AM Re: good article on gang rape [Re: jcf1957]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6400
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Something I learned as a child....and that other children can do this.

People are inherently evil.

_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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