yep... I've got ocd...

it's not fun - makes you do silly things 'real fast'

but what can i say..! it's the cards i have -
i gotta play 'em.. as healthfully as i can ..

so....

any thoughts?


- Marky Mark

Markgreyblue,

I'm with you on this. I have OCD as well and its not easy. Mine revolves alot around safety and checking things - the door, the alarm clock, hovering over the children because if I turn my back they may be taken or hurt. I find that medication helps. Often OCD is accompanied with depression and often both are rooted in very low serotonin levels. A class of medication known as SSRIs are very often useful for alleviating some of the symptoms particularly when combined with behavioral therapy. I find that my OCD gets worse when under stress trying to structure my life so that it is a stress free as possible also helps some. Its a very strange thing because in my case at least there is a part of me that knows my behaviors are irrational but knowing that doesn't mean I can stop them. Stay strong.

There is also some evidence that OCD is found more often in victims of sexual abuse. I don't know why this is but I do know that Serotonin levels are responsive to the things that happen to you and if you are depressed or afraid or anxious the brain becomes trained to that over time and normal serotonin levels can be permanently affected, that is why medication and behavioral therapy can be so important. In behavioral therapy when done right the brain can actually start to repair itself. I find the OCD workbook helpful and also the book Brain Lock; Free yourself from Obsessive Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey Schwartz. There is also a forum much like this for OCD sufferes called OCDtribe at http://www.ocdtribe.com

thanks, this sounds good.

Hi Mark,

My first thought is that it's good to see you again. I was thinking about you the other day and how I hadn't seen you lately. I meant to PM you to see how you were, but then got sidetracked and, well, you know.

I'm OCD in some respects and it drives my wife crazy at times. She has to tell me some things firmly sometimes when she sensing that I'm obsessing about something. I do think this can be a remnant of the abuse and a need to try to bring some order to chaos. Or at least, it is in my case.

P.S. Have missed seeing some more of your drawings here. Have you done any lately?

hi Eddie,

thanks for your note.

I was about to post on this about something I wrote to a friend about OCD, and i think it's related to what you say.
I can get caught up in the details and i kind of need someone to kick me in the butt to keep me moving forward.

I like who I am - but I also know what I need - too.

Sometimes a copliment works better than a mirror -
I am not sure how to say this - I mean it about relationships.

I mean - I know what I want - but I also know that sometimes I need someone to know me - and to 'keep me in line.' lol

Whatever there's a lid to every pot - that's what's on my mind.

----

I was in the hospital for a couple of weeks - and I am out now -
I am doing much better-

I will post some pictures soon!!!

Thanks Eddie

Mgb

Markgreyblue - I was diagnosed with OCD and multiple other things before I hit the age of 13. Doc's pumped me full of meds and then left me out on the shelf to dry. I was a psychiatric mess growing up. You are absolutely right, OCD is not easy. However, I have worked very hard with several cognitive psychotherapists to at least curve some of the un-bearable behaviors. I found that the less medication, the better...for me anyways. It's weird, but I have been working with troubled kids for over 8 years and this has helped my behaviors as well. Just know that if you don't take control and learn to beat the shit out of this bastard of a disease, it will destroy you. It makes me very irritated when I hear or see the general populations interpretation of this illness. It's not funny, and it's not about being "anal". There are so many parts to OCD that people are ignorant to in the sense of morbid thoughts/obsessions and etc. It can be truly terrifying.

I noticed another reply with a referral to the OCD Work Book and Brain Lock. I suggest that as well. Brain Lock is a great book. Another interesting read, not so much "self help"..but, check out The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing by Judith A. Rapoport. Is a classic OCD book.

If you need any other book referrals, please let me know. I may be able to help.

Take care.