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#24028 - 03/06/02 01:53 PM Betrayed as Boys
contender Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 58
Loc: New York
I read Dr. Gardner's book Betrayed As Boys and really enjoyed it, that is, it provided a good, easily readable de>

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#24029 - 03/06/02 10:07 PM Re: Betrayed as Boys
Anonymous
Unregistered


..I hav'nt. But I should. It's been so long and I think that has much to do with it. Forty four years,now. I watched quietly thru the 1960s,70s,80s till now. First there was no information. Then Hollywood jumped on the molestation bandwagon and there was lots of information. And a whole bunch of wierdos faking victimization. An industry built up around the issue. All the while I've sat here,silent. This is a good time to speak up.


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#24030 - 03/09/02 11:19 PM Re: Betrayed as Boys
Howaboutthis Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/29/01
Posts: 22
Loc: Manhattan
Yeah, I spoke with some professionals in the field and they say that there is not one original idea in Betrayed As Boys that gartner reported his experiences and described his experiences with the ideas of more talented therapists.


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#24031 - 03/10/02 01:14 AM Re: Betrayed as Boys
derf Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/29/01
Posts: 2
Howaboutthis,

Perhaps you would share with us the names of those "professionals in the field" you quote. Your remarks seem cowardly and ignorant when you quote anonymous sources and then post them without having read the book yourself. This is obviously a personal attack rather than a literary opinion. Have the courage to speak with your own voice or shut up.


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#24032 - 03/10/02 09:19 AM Re: Betrayed as Boys
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I have met Richard, and I agree with the person before me shut up where are you comming from, abuse issues are related, who says things will not over lap. If you have never met the person, then you have no business being that harsh. That is the opion of people you talked to, just their opion that is all.

What if you ever get to meet him, he is a very caring man, and these opinons will get in the way of you sharing with someone like him.

oh well where Richard is concerned I like him very much, and his book is good. I think you should give names also.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#24033 - 03/10/02 05:01 PM Re: Betrayed as Boys
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
Derf, Michael,,

this is a support forum, your certainly entitled to disagree and question the source of the statements made by howabouthis, but guys,, c'mon,, lets not do the name calling thing and start telling people to shut up, that just does not belong here.

Just so you know, I read the book and i thought it was really very good.

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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#24034 - 03/10/02 11:21 PM Re: Betrayed as Boys
Anonymous
Unregistered


..I ignited a firestorm. Oops. Truth is that sitting here quietly in the back of the schoolroom all these decades I'm a bit fearfull of speaking out. There's been so much good work. And so much opportunism. As with any "cause",belief system or the like history eons from now will record we lived in the Age of Scam. Whether it's work-at-home scams promising $1,200 weekly for mailing envelopes or being made to believ victims become predators it's all the same wavelength. I can only say that I believed I'd be dead long ago and everytime my heart beats now after all these decades well it astonishes me. I'm not supposed to be here..


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#24035 - 03/14/02 07:29 PM Re: Betrayed as Boys
Howaboutthis Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/29/01
Posts: 22
Loc: Manhattan
He's supposed to be very caring, you would go to someone who isn't?

Alright I will shut up but I think you all overeacted because what I said bothered you because you recognized some truth in what I said from your own personal experiences.


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#24036 - 03/15/02 10:03 AM Re: Betrayed as Boys
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
Everyone will have their own opinion anyway, but I wouldnt belive people just because they were professionals, If you are writing about abuse there will be similarities. It doesnt really matter as long as men are being helped by the material. There are a lot of good books out there, I encourage abused men to read what they can find. But saying one author is not saying anything new is silly, then just dont read it. Someone else might get a great deal from the book.

It is ok not to like someone, just dont base it on the feelings of other people. No matter who they are. No one has to be nice, personalities are different. I choose how I feel at any given moment. So read what you can, talk to other survivors, go to retreats, go to therapy. Do what you need to get better. Go for a walk. Ride a bike.
Read to a child.

Have a great day How a bout this

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#24037 - 04/21/02 04:43 PM Re: Betrayed as Boys
Mark R Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 29
Loc: Palm Springs, CA
I've read the book...and I've read almost every book on the subject that I can. "Betrayed as Boys" is fairly comprehensive, well documented and the work of others is fully referenced. I refer everyone I talk to who asks about therapy to the chapters on choosing a therapist...the fact they were co-written by a female therapist is very enlightening. I wouldn't take anything written or told to me as the total truth...read it all...listen to all the points of view and make up your own mind. Thanks Richard for a thoughtful book.


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