how do you know when you're going over the edge?
does a crazy person know they're crazy?
if i worry about going insane, is that proof i am, or am not?
or does it mean anything at all?

i just don't think i can cope.

i am truly losing my mind, i can feel it.

Not to make light of your situation, but the only true insanity is to believe you are sane. The fact you doubt your sanity means you're human like the rest of us, Mark

.. but that's not making light of anything ..

Wow, Mark, have I ever been where you are!! For me, I knew that I was going over the edge, I just didn't know when I was going to crash land.

I hope that you are in counseling. Please don't do what I did and admit that you are going insane, but do nothing about it. It eventually became deadly for me and ended up a crazy mess!

I'll pray for you, brother. Get into therapy and get well.

God bless,
John, The Music Man.

i'm in therapy
you can see how much it's helping

Mark,

I struggled in therapy for quite a while because while I was challenging ideas and perceptionns the rest of my family were happily (or,not) going along their merry way doing what they had always done...it made me feel very crazy.

What happened was definately crazy. But, seriously, is it crazy? Or confusion :-) Or, the confusion that makes ya feel crazy...ohhhh, I hate that when that happens...

:-)


CD

I've been in therapy for a while, and there are times when it felt like it wasn't helping, and was in fact making things worse. Those confusing times are when I made calls to my T between visits just to check in, and that helped. It was only a short while when things started to make sense again, and I kept on going.

You're doing the right thing in terms of reaching out for feedback, Mark. Keep talking, and we'll see if we can help you make sense out of it.

MarkK,
I knew that when I was seeing a T there were times when all kinds of new feelings would be triggered during therapy. At first these feelings were overwhelming but as I work thro them the intenity lessen. In my exprience therapy sucks when going thro it but the rewards are worth all the pain afterwards.
Fron my experences with my mother's mental illness when she was going or had gone over the edge she had no idea how crazy she was behaving.
Hang in there, pain comes with growth.
mike

how do you make sense of what makes no sense?
i can't even explain the feeling
it's like my mind is coming apart
this isn't like a headache - cuz my head doesn't hurt
this isn't like some "brain thing"
my mind
my soul
my BEING
is coming apart. or being torn apart.
i dunno
i dunno
i dunno

As I struggled with the differences between how I saw myself or presented myself to the world and what I was discussing in therapy...the huge difference between the two...it was, yea, very confusing and made me feel crazy.

Is that what you mean?

CD