Actually I haven't been here that long but it looks like many have come here in the past and then began to do better and departed. Then new waves of wounded appear.
Actually, I found this forum two years ago when my life fell apart and I realized the full scope of my wounds. I posted a few times, got caring responses that helped me see that I was not alone and that a lot of the things in my life that I'd attributed to me being a "loser" were shared by others who'd walked in my shoes.
Like you, Tinman, I eventually became overwhelmed at the sheer pain present here and had to stop for awhile. I really wish I hadn't. Recently, I found myself deeper than I'd been two years ago and I found my way back to MaleSurvivor, reading the pain again and realizing that I am still not alone.
As an adult, I have had a terrible time making or keeping friends, because they can never know or understand the "real" me. Here, everyone can know the real me, and if I can summon the courage, I might be able to find a friend or two who can really understand the pain in my heart.
We need to know we're brothers.