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#238090 - 07/14/08 01:26 PM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: LW1527]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
LW

I fully believe you. You made it out alive! You were one strong little guy.

Your story has me crying right now.

Just wondering if you are having flashbacks of all this now?

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#238093 - 07/14/08 01:43 PM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: Still]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Yeah, flash backs that are so real. There are times I think I can see my dad walking out. I lie on the bed in a haze of confusion. I first used to have images of dad beating me, strangling me. I've had flashbacks of my older sister naked and getting into bed with me. I thought I was some pervert when I had those. Then it was dad from the stomach down. It was like I could feel his touches all over again. I think they call it body memory. Flashbacks! Gotta love them. Thanks for your post.


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#238098 - 07/14/08 01:57 PM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: LW1527]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Well....at least we are all together here...hanging on to each other.

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#238101 - 07/14/08 02:12 PM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: LW1527]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
We should probably PM - there is a level of similarity to our stories that I have found very rare here. With that, I offer you this - No, of course you're not crazy! BUT you are probably going to continue to feel like you are for a long time yet. When it is your most formative experience (being made to feel like the crazy black sheep from toddler-hood on), it takes years and years and years to shake. Still working on it myself.

Thank you for sharing - our stories are similar and your post made me feel less alone. Love, TW


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#238102 - 07/14/08 02:13 PM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: testingWaters]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
And PS there is NOTHING about the kind of flashbacks you describe that is foreign to me - been there and it SUCKS.


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#238109 - 07/14/08 02:39 PM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: Still]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Wow to the strangling.

Gee I was just thinking how 'courageous' and what a 'big man', and 'tough guy' someone has to be to strangle a kid. He's pathetic.

_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#238110 - 07/14/08 02:46 PM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: hogan_dawg]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Yeah. I can see his face like yesterday, throwing me up against the wall, his hands pressing around my throat squeezing. All I could do is look into his red and purple face. I don't remember much else and I don't remember when he stopped. Obviously he did. And to think, I thought this was normal growing up. I guess it was my normal.


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#238247 - 07/15/08 01:29 AM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: LW1527]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6709
Loc: USA
LW1527:

I keep of thinking of this book for you.

This is John Bradshaw on The Family.

http://www.amazon.com/Bradshaw-Family-Cr...16098485&sr=1-1

I frankly have not read it but I have listened to the tapes. There are apparently used copies in very good condition for $1.44 plus $3.98 S&H. I notice the tapes now are going for $55 per set. Maybe I should sell mine. I really gained insight from the tapes. I think I will make a point to read the book now.

I can kind of formulate what Bradshaw would say to you out of my memory. If you can't get the book I'll try to do this.

Bradshaw has written several books, all of which are apparently helpful. It is easy to find these on Amazon.com.

This book will give you valuable insight into the structure of your family. My family of origin was kind of crazy also, but maybe not as much so as yours, I don't know. Anyway, healing comes block by block as you answer these questions for yourself. Insight is the key to freedom.

Another good book, taking the same subject from a slightly different angle is:

Secrets of Youf Family Tree, by Cloud et al.

http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Your-Famil...16099115&sr=1-1

I have this book also but have not read it yet (I had a reading problem as a kid growing up, so my reading speed is still not up to snuff). I have listened to this guy a lot on the radio. This book gets 5 star review on Amazon

Puffer


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#238248 - 07/15/08 01:30 AM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: LW1527]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6709
Loc: USA
LW1527:

I keep of thinking of this book for you.

This is John Bradshaw on The Family.

http://www.amazon.com/Bradshaw-Family-Cr...16098485&sr=1-1

I frankly have not read it but I have listened to the tapes. There are apparently used copies in very good condition for $1.44 plus $3.98 S&H. I notice the tapes now are going for $55 per set. Maybe I should sell mine. I really gained insight from the tapes. I think I will make a point to read the book now.

I can kind of formulate what Bradshaw would say to you out of my memory. If you can't get the book I'll try to do this.

Bradshaw has written several books, all of which are apparently helpful. It is easy to find these on Amazon.com.

This book will give you valuable insight into the structure of your family. My family of origin was kind of crazy also, but maybe not as much so as yours, I don't know. Anyway, healing comes block by block as you answer these questions for yourself. Insight is the key to freedom.

Another good book, taking the same subject from a slightly different angle is:

Secrets of Youf Family Tree, by Cloud et al.

http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Your-Famil...16099115&sr=1-1

I have this book also but have not read it yet (I had a reading problem as a kid growing up, so my reading speed is still not up to snuff). I have listened to this guy a lot on the radio. This book gets 5 star review on Amazon

Puffer


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#238265 - 07/15/08 07:38 AM Re: Growing Up Crazy [Re: pufferfish]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
Thanks, Puffer. I'll check into these.


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