Good for you for considering taking this step!
Eddie had some wise words that there have indeed been occasional instances of men finding the WoR program not to their liking. I am not sure what CDavid is referring to because I've been here a while and generally watch the WoR threads pretty close and I've never witnessed anything like what he describes.
Never the less, I thought I'd chime in and share an excerpt of a larger article I wrote. This blurb had to do specifically with the WoR I attended last September.
Like I say in the excerpt, it was a life changing experience and absolutely for the best. I hope for you too that if you have the opportunity to go that you will sign up... I highly doubt you'd regret it!
Weekends of Recovery
A major turn of events and a massive overhaul of my thinking happened. I had finally decided somewhere in there that I was worth healing. Quite uncharacteristically for me, I took a giant leap of faith and signed up for the September 2007 Alta, Utah Weekend of Recovery. In the sign up process, I had the honour of speaking to Howard Fradkin, and was blown away at how supportive he was on the phone. Howard had such a calming effect on my nerves over the phone, and while I was terrified about signing up, he helped me find a certain peace about it.
The drive to the retreat for me was just less than 1,800 kilometers (1,100 miles). I left the borders of my country, for the first time in years, and found myself traveling through three states before the end of my first day of travel. The entire time I was really truly wondering what the heck I was doing. The second day of travel brought me into Salt Lake City, Utah and this was nothing short of panic for me. I spent this day thinking about how truly crazy I must be. The morning of September 14, 2007 I finally drove the last leg of the trip and found myself at Alta.
Thank goodness the weekend kicked off with an afternoon of establishing trust. Having 20 years experience in hiding and silence, it was a bizarre moment to be sitting in a room with a handful of guys who, myself included, were all there because they had been sexually abused. By the end of the afternoon, however, it was more comfortable than bizarre. I learned a great deal about trust that day. Trust - such a simple five-letter word yet such a complex meaning for an abuse survivor. I think it's safe to say many of the guys in the room were trusting people for the first time in a very long time. It was not only special to see, but amazing to experience.
The weekend as a whole was not easy for me. I was continually and gently asked to leave my comfort zone behind and participate in the activities available. I am still not sure how, but I felt safe enough to push myself and participate in almost everything that was offered. Come to think of it, that mantra, "I drove over sixteen hours to be here, so I might as well..." kept coming to mind. I think I also just really needed to see something positive come out of the experience as a whole. By only the second day, I had so many unmistakably positive things to think about that I actually got seriously overwhelmed trying to process everything.
I can now look back and say the weekend was easily the most amazing experience of my life. There is something different about connecting with other men who have been sexually abused. There is so much 'context' involved in sexual abuse that just doesn't need to be explained or sorted out between two or more male survivors - instead, it is understood and validated in such an environment as the Weekend of Recovery provides.
Since the weekend, communicating with friends I met at the retreat has been a true blessing in my life. Usually it's an e-mail or private message. Occasionally, it's a phone call. A few times it has been a Christmas card. Whatever it may be it always serves as a reminder that I'm not alone and that there are people out there who understand me on a very deep level. It's a good feeling, and we all know we could use more of those in our lives!
Wishing you the best with your decision making process Syntaxed! If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a PM.
I farted so huge, my ass exploded. There was poo everywhere and it got into the fan too. What a fucking mess.