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#237594 - 07/11/08 10:24 PM It's over and it's succesful.....
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I am finally home and i am wornout from such a long day ....i can barely see the screen yet i want all of you to know i did the best i could emotionally for my honey as to be expected.

I am wiped out and this morning when we left for the hospital i was a fuckin mess and i did pretty good UNTIL the team of drs ,nurses,anesthesioligist,and the asst and the angel in the OR....( the nurse who is right by lisa's side throughtout the surgery ) came in and i lost it ... i could not focus and got so emotional.

i know this is not easy to go through with someone you love not to mention going through it alone like lisa did long before and for so long before i came along with 2 other surgerys before i came along , what a lonely place to be.

I am soooooo tired and drained that i want to tell the whole story but i am to tired to do as such.

I went through so much today i was however allowed to be with lisa right up until she was readly to go into the operating room and the reality hit me between the eyes when the team came over and wheeled her in to the OR.

i waited and waited and paced the floors and waited some more and slept and did everything i could to pass the time until she was done with the procedure ......it's been so hard for me to deal with this knowing the lady i love was going through something yet i was not allowed to be with her.

A little past one oclock today ( the hosptital gives you a pager and when the doc is finished he pages you) and ....blah blah blah blah ....i was only concerned with lisa's safety and her recovery from the surgery.

My pager went off,i called the number and up i went to the recovery room a fuckin mess...as soon as i came around the corner into the recovery room i was looking around and she says "hi honey" ...i looked at her and i fell apart and could not catch my breath and started crying.

anyway i am SO GLAD i have a place to go to vent .....i hope i made some sense...i must say the only way i knew how to deal with the stress is to have a few pops....actually alot of drinks.....otherwise i am not sure if i would have been able to go through today withoutb MS and people who love and care for me

finally tell me something i am wondering why i was so angry when she was out of the woods ..why was i so angry and wanted to lash out at people........

is it because i didnt want to deal with my pain '

is it because i didnt want to be seen vulnerable

there are sooooo many reasons i didnt do this, i didnt do that....ultimately i did what i knew woud get me thorugh....\

god bless all of you..........

thank you so much for your willingness to help when help/support is what i needed........thank you ...thank you, thank you...it means alot...

Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#237599 - 07/11/08 11:00 PM Re: It's over and it's succesful..... [Re: thecoopstah]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
I'm so glad to hear that the surgery went okay, coop. Thank you for the update.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237615 - 07/12/08 01:05 AM Re: It's over and it's succesful..... [Re: BJK]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Coop,

Thank you for the good report,

Puffer


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#237626 - 07/12/08 06:45 AM Re: It's over and it's succesful..... [Re: pufferfish]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Coop,

I am glad everything went well for Lisa. Here's to a speedy recovery.

Dan


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#237628 - 07/12/08 06:56 AM Re: It's over and it's succesful..... [Re: thecoopstah]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
coop, sometimes it seems as if the emotions all blur into one big knot. relief at the cessation of suspended tension, joy, anxiety, anticipation........all that and more. we are all still learning to identify them as separate things, and usually become overwhelmed when a situation arises such as this one where control is out of our hands and they all seem to just jumble into a big grey blob.

take some time to be alone and identify them and release them one by one. you will be very busy and possibly too preoccupied with your sweetie's recovery to pay much attention to your own, and you might get backlogged in the process.

keep us posted on the progress of her physical condition and the egress of your emotional situation,

keeping you in thought and prayer,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#237641 - 07/12/08 09:52 AM Re: It's over and it's succesful..... [Re: Sans Logos]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
I'm glad to hear things went well with the surgery, Coop, I know this must have been a really emotional day for you worrying about her. I hope her recovery goes well and that she's soon up and about. Let us know how things continue to go.

_________________________
Eddie

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