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#238213 - 07/14/08 10:31 PM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
And, more importantly, maybe...most importantly, when we isolate, the new updates are or seemm unavailable to us.

Which is why it is so cool that you've thrown this out there...

Thanks


CD


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#238221 - 07/14/08 10:47 PM . [Re: CDavid]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 05:03 PM)

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#238224 - 07/14/08 10:50 PM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
And, give credit where credit is due, lynchmob, you made the choice initially and continue to...to reach out.

You've done the work...you get the glory.


CD


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#238239 - 07/14/08 11:56 PM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
muffinman Offline


Registered: 07/14/08
Posts: 1
i mean, it's tough. what I find is that I keep on going through a cycle, I get consumed by anger, I focus on minute details of meaningless shit. And then at a certain point I open up and I heal again. I'd like to say I'm defined by the fact that I survived the abuse. And sometimes I am. But sometimes, I'm still paralized by fear, even though it's 25 years later. I'm just a work in progress. I guess. One thing that helped me a lot is realizing how many other people are wrestling with this


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#238240 - 07/15/08 12:04 AM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: muffinman]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
I think recovery is more of a spiraling sort of thing, muffinman. We take something in, try to incorporate it into our lives...spiral around several times until it kind of gets incorporated. And, that is if we are lucky...because there are so many outside influences on recovery.

For me...it is very helpful to keep reminding myself that I am getting closer...


CD


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#238246 - 07/15/08 01:27 AM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: CDavid]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1962
The notion of 10 steps forward, but 5 steps back is very familiar. But I have decided to look at it from the macro level. That is to say, if there are more steps forward, then backward, then progress is being made.

An analogy I have been using and throwing around in my head is that of a shelf. I have been building a shelf to put all my "stuff" on so that I don't need to carry it around with me all the time and be burdened by its weight. As I grow and heal, part of what happens is this shelf becomes stronger and more secure. Sure, there are times I will need to pull things off this shelf to take a closer look at them in order to understand them better; but when I am done I can put them back on the shelf. And other times something will happen that knocks some of this "stuff" off the shelf, which will force/require me to pick this stuff up and have to deal with it. But again, I can put it back on the shelf.

Also, just wanted to add that from my T one thing I have learned is that when we are healing and dealing with things, we will tend to revisit many times the same themes and issues. I really think it is all part of the process of incorporating these things into our being in a more healthy way, and if you pay attention over time, you should be able (ideally) to notice the way you relate and understand and feel about these things changes as you grow and heal. At least that has been my experience in my dealing with my own issues.


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#238321 - 07/15/08 01:40 PM . [Re: ericc]
bardo213 Offline
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Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 05:04 PM)

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