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#237570 - 07/11/08 08:37 PM .
bardo213 Offline
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Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 05:02 PM)

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#237631 - 07/12/08 07:45 AM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
"I just wish my emotions weren't like a time bomb I wish I could express them freely and have people respect me for who Iam no matter what I have to say..."

Hey,lynchmob,

I've been to retreats, where it is suggested that the honest expression of any emotion, is the answer. Elizabeth Kubler Ross started them. Based, in part, on her theories about life, loss and transition. The stages of grief and loss.

Survivors, in general, certainly know loss. And it is pretty easy to see how grief and grieving is hampered along the way because of the experiences and the strategies we've come up with to deal with them.

But, if you care to say...what would that look like, feel like, if you could express them freely and have people respect you for who you are no matter what you have to say?

Cuz, sometimes, I realize that the notion was so foreign to me, I had no idea it was happening as it happened. I set it out so far in front of me as a goal...that I did not realize I was getting closer to it everyday.

I loved this..." When I lay it down flat I've been through a hell of a lot."


CD


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#237636 - 07/12/08 08:32 AM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
lynchmob you are an incredibly wise man. you have so much righteous introspection. you have a lot of difficult questions that you are juggling at this point in your life, and you already have all the answers to your questions!

if i could offer any suggestion, it would be to just notice that the process of healing you seek is already in effect for you and you need do nothing to control it. just cooperate with that which is apparently already functioning. you are well into the process of separation that you desire.

it seems you are getting caught up in the emotions that have been rising to the fore as you realize all these mitigating factors contributing to your recovery. it's like the light is full on for you right now, and it's so bright that all of the things that you could not see when you were in the dark, they are just overwhelming at the time. just take time to breathe and acknowledge these things as part of the process point.

remember there is no finish line, just the reward of being willing to take the next step toward yourself; to open the next door and be willing to accept what you encounter behind it; and that, you are doing already and in a remarkable way.

trust that which is in you to continue to lead and guide you. allow yourself to be fully human, with warts and all. the people that are most beneficial to your health and healing process will not judge or abandon or critcize you for being the marvelous yet vulnerable and precious 'you' that you are.

you inspire me, thanks my brother,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#237667 - 07/12/08 12:56 PM . [Re: Sans Logos]
bardo213 Offline
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Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 05:02 PM)

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#237668 - 07/12/08 12:59 PM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
I think journaling is such an excellent thing to do. It gives us a place to express what is going on...and, we can go back to it whenever we like, to see and remind ourselves of just how far we have come.

Look how far you have come so far!

:-)


CD


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#237670 - 07/12/08 01:13 PM . [Re: CDavid]
bardo213 Offline
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Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 05:03 PM)

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#237674 - 07/12/08 01:29 PM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
"I think a lot of my issues of dealing with a lot of this stuff was that my boundaries were reversed and I was protecting the bad and not the good if ya know what I mean."


I do know what you mean, I think. As though the injury defines who we are. When really, it is not who we are but what was done to us.

Which is huge in the process of recovery, lynchmob...


CD


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#238153 - 07/14/08 07:25 PM . [Re: CDavid]
bardo213 Offline
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Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 05:03 PM)

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#238170 - 07/14/08 08:43 PM Re: Seperating the abuse from who Iam [Re: bardo213]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
"how do we change our oringional programming"


Well, lynchmob,


To use the analogy of "changing the programming," if we were to do that on our computer. Think about the process involved. Something has to take the place of the old programming. There is most certainly a stage of confision and frustration as we incorporate the new ideas and concepts the new programming offers.

If you switched out your PC to a Mac...there are certainly similiarities...but if you get up in the morning, half awake, and try to make yer new fangled puter work by using what you know...it's just not going to work.

So...it takes time. And, it helps to have a support network. Someone that has been down the same road, maybe. But what you want to do with your computer might differ, certainly, from what they want or need to do with their's. So, you take what you can use...and leave the rest.

We know, don't we, all too well, the analogy they use about computers, "Junk in...junk out," which is kind of where we are at sometimes. Using old information that was once useful, but is no longer necessary.

Imagine trying to run this...on an old Comodore 64. :-)


CD


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#238210 - 07/14/08 10:27 PM . [Re: CDavid]
bardo213 Offline
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Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 05:03 PM)

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