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#237460 - 07/11/08 10:46 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
I don't know though, revenge might be too quick a judgment, you think?

If he had hunted poor Mr. Rodriquez down, removed body parts...that might be revenge. Yea, okay, it would. But to react or to respond the way the father did...hmmm?


CD


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#237463 - 07/11/08 10:55 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: CDavid]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: CDavid
I don't know though, revenge might be too quick a judgment, you think?

If he had hunted poor Mr. Rodriquez down, removed body parts...that might be revenge. Yea, okay, it would. But to react or to respond the way the father did...hmmm?


CD


It's anger mixed with the desire for revenge. It's quite a powerful emotion.

I know last winter when I was first coming to terms with my past, the thought kept entering my mind that my nephew was being exposed to my mother on a regular basis. You might say that it's different, but I digress. Every time I thought of my mother being alone with my nephew, until the point where it was verified that there was no direct sexual contact between them, I felt that split second urge to hurt her.

That urge is the desire for revenge, and I hate it.

But all of that is still dodging the point of what good could possibly come of such a reaction? It causes nothing but harm...harm to other kids who need to be protected. And, no, I am in no way labeling this perp a victim.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237466 - 07/11/08 11:07 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
Well, as parents we are charged with the responsibility of informing our children about good touch versus bad touch. As a precaution, we hope. Hoping that they will never have to do anything other than be aware.

It is an awkward balance, to inform without instilling fear. Make aware without makin em paranoid. Nobody really likes paranoid four year olds. I can testify to that, having been one...but, as you say, I digress.

I think revenge is well, the thought, the feeling, the emotion, as you say, can be a healthy thing. We certainly, as responsible adults understand the difference between thinking a thing and acting on it.

Revenge is simply a distortion of the healthy emotion, anger.

Some where in this thread, some one points out or suggests that it would have been...well, hang on...it is too important to paraphrase...I'll be back...

"And I know that I wouldn't want them seeing me beat someone to death. Would that tear them up more than anything else a one-time diddle could do?"

A one time diddle?

I'd like to think, this was a knee-jerk reaction to protect his son. I would react in a similiar way, I am sure.

But, I do understand what yo are saying, Bryan.


CD


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#237467 - 07/11/08 11:08 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Ummmmmmmmmmm.......

All I'm saying is that even though the guy made a mistake, he doesn't deserve to have an assault on his record for what he did. Charge him? Sure, no problem. But, as a juror, I sure as hell wouldn't make him a second victim in this circumstance.

And I DON'T mean to pick apart your words Bryan, but throw the book at him? Seriously? You're talking months in jail and an assault record, and losing his job, all that. Did you REALLY mean that? Does this father deserve THAT? Are you serious? Have you really thought that through? Like I said, I'm not tryinjg to pick apart your words, I JUST DON'T follow your reasoning.

"It probably was the first time he was caught, though, and the reaction of the father will probably result in a light sentence." Huh? Dude, you SO lost me. On what do you base this assumption?

In the scenario that I had presented, the one where the father pleads not guilty, the man IS STILL held to account for his actions, and will more than likely think much longer and harder before acting rashly again. If the father had a history of violence BEFORE his kid got perped, then he wouldn't have a chance winning the sympathy of any of the jury members.

Andy? I REALLY hope I'm not being categorized as someone who advocates violence. PLEASE don't think that. I think my replies were well thought out and reasoned. I sure don't think that.....
well..........my statement stands.


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#237472 - 07/11/08 11:20 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Hauser]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Do my replies REALLY strike any of you as strictly emotionally-based or unreasoned?


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#237479 - 07/11/08 11:56 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Hauser]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Well, Hauser, the man is guilty of assault. It's not premeditated, but it is, nonetheless, assault.

And, no...I don't think anyone in this thread has voiced his opinion based on emotion. All of the responses here have been well thought out.

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#237485 - 07/11/08 12:34 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: AndyJB2005
Ok, go beat up everyone then. Have fun...

I'm out of here...


Hey, Andy. Please don't think your voice doesn't matter. I know you're triggered by violence, but please know that your voice is heard.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#237491 - 07/11/08 01:15 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Quote:
Ok, go beat up everyone then. Have fun...

I'm out of here...


Andy, No one has said, you're not heard. In fact it's you're posting's more than anyone's that has sparked this debate. Debate is good right, it means that people are actually talking about things that usually do not get talked about.

I didn't end my post to you with "feel you, care for you and love you" because you are irrelevant to me". You just rubbed me the wrong way, this is allowed Andy. It didn't once make me not want to hear what you had to say.

As for the quote Andy, no one said anything about beating up EVERYONE, and I'm pretty sure the Father wasn't having any FUN as his emotion's took over him and he went into a fit of rage. Can't say I know too many that would be having FUN in that state.
Rage in my experience is a very painful state to be in, and the aftermath has been unbarable, to me at least. But from my experience I do understand it.

You are important to this debate Andy, don't you doubt it for one minute. You are not wrong for feeling like you do, you have to expect others to feel differently. That doesn't diminish you're feeling's on the subject.

We are allowed to disagree Andy, that is why you have to continue. I didn't shut you down Andy.

Again Andy, I care for you, feel you and love you.

I do not lie, here anyway \:\)

Stay strong Andy, you matter
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#237494 - 07/11/08 01:33 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: mogigo]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I REALLY wish I had never posted this.

We are all in the same P.O.W. camp and are now taking-up segregations based upon secondary issues. That kills me.


_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#237498 - 07/11/08 01:40 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
I'm not so sure if this is true Rob, I think it's survivor issues of self-worth that are rearing their ugly heads.

I think it's just another issue of peace and serenity that you're feeling right now Rob,

We are ALLOWED TO DISSAGREE people

pretty one-tracked community if we don't, yawn.

I want to feel real, feel like we haven't allowed that lately.

Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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