I am pretty optimistic( yet still scared to death for both of us but for her most of all) this morning as my fiancee is going in for her surgery for a hysterectomy and although there are risks i am convinced she will be just fine( god willing )
Anyway i come to you men / women in this early morning 6:40AM ( although i have been up and awake since 5AM ) with so many emotions still fluttering around within me that i just need to allow the process , take my meds ...definitely,hopefully then my nerves will subside and i can move on to being there for lisa and enjoy and build a life i have always wanted with her.
I think the best part for me is i was told after the surgery her doctor will come out and talk with me ,let me know how it went and god willing i hope to god there are/were no complications whatsoever.
I cant help it sometimes when i get so emotional and can't process my thoughts and feelings which therefore either do one of two things
1) make me friggin nuts and become a lunatic
2) or try my best to accept the fact and have faith in the doctor ,who by the way is the best of the best( literally he was on the front cover of ladies journal back in 2002 for THE BEST and most dedicated doctor in the WORLD he won the vote in a landslide)
I know however i will certainly be really emotional and will certainly cry and i am so ok with that i have never had an issue with or question as to why i cry and get so emotional so easily.
I am however,although this could change yet i am prepared for this to be decided otherwise for reasons i have no control over and must accpet,grateful and relieved that the doctor told us on monday that i can be with lisa right up until they get ready to take her into the operating room at which time it will hit me that i am no longer able to see her and knowing in my heart she is in great hands yet the unknown rips me apart especially when it comes to someone like lisa i am SO IN LOVE WITH and want NOTHING BUT THE BEST ....she is clearly having the quality of care most people only dream about( at least it's this way for me at a hospital ...Newton-Wellsley hospital in Newton-Wellsley mass)
I want to thank all of you men (and women of course for all your support and comfort for being here for me when it mattered most.
I posted about how i felt the other night in the male survivor forum under the same post listed here on how i felt the other night.
I'd like to know if some of the ladies on here have ever had a total hysterectomy ( cervix and uterus is the procedure lisa is having dome this morning at 10:40AM)
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WOMEN with your menstral cycles in that until i met lisa i thought was not a big deal......well after being with a lady for almost 2 years( and reading up on it exstently i absolutely know and feel otherwise....you ladies have it rough and getting your period i hope it's not painful or filled with several issues lisa went through , she suffered for 6 months straight i witnessed her struggle....hopefully by 3pm today she'll be up ,awake and ready to go up to her room from the recovery room to stay overnight and come home to awaiting nerve wracked hubby to be, where she will be WELL TAKEN CARE OF FOR SURE.
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "