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#237300 - 07/10/08 06:30 PM Arrest WHO???
Still Offline
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Those of you NOT from Massachusetts won't freaking believe this one. Anyone FROM Mass will say "yeah....that's about right."

http://www.tauntongazette.com/news/x390628325/Police-Child-groped-inside-Raynham-grocery-store

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#237302 - 07/10/08 06:35 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
EGL Offline
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Good grief. What's in the water out there, Rob, other than massive amounts of chloro-stupidity?

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#237303 - 07/10/08 06:41 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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Crime is crime, no matter what your motivation. Groping is a horrible crime, and he should go to jail. Taking the law into your own hands is also not right, and I'd be afraid to live in a society where anyone can do anything as long as they're "angry."

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#237305 - 07/10/08 06:47 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
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I'm with Andy, though I'm not sure I could voice my view as eloquently as he.

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Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
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Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237306 - 07/10/08 06:48 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Still Offline
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True Andy. We must NEVER circumvent the law. However, I think there ought to be accommodation for the Dad reacting as he did.

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#237307 - 07/10/08 06:52 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
EGL Offline
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What really got me about the story was this:

Quote:
Rodriguez...told police he was wrong for touching the boy and “only fooling around.”

...police decided not to arrest the suspect at the scene due to his advanced aged (BOO-FUCKING-HOO!) and lack of a criminal record.


GRRRRRRR!

That reminds me of Debra LaFave who was too pretty to go to jail.



Edited by EGL (07/10/08 06:54 PM)
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#237308 - 07/10/08 06:56 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
BJK Offline
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I don't agree, Rob. I have to question the dad's motives.

My personal belief is that the desire for revenge is the most counter-productive and negative of all human emotions. Enacting revenge does nothing more than perpetuate abuse. A father's first responsibility should be to protect and shelter his son, and that does not involve assaulting the perp.

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237309 - 07/10/08 07:00 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
However, I think there ought to be accommodation for the Dad reacting as he did.


Oh I think he'll get something light...

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#237311 - 07/10/08 07:02 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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I think the kid seeing the dad beat the pulp out of a guy and seeing that rage was maybe more harmful to his little psyche than a one-time grope under the stall....

I know it would've been for me, as a kid...

I'm not defending the groper, of course, just think both parties were wrong...

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#237312 - 07/10/08 07:10 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Still Offline
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oops .... redundant post



Edited by Robbie Brown (07/10/08 07:12 PM)
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#237313 - 07/10/08 07:11 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Still Offline
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Originally Posted By: AndyJB2005
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
However, I think there ought to be accommodation for the Dad reacting as he did.


Oh I think he'll get something light...


I hope so. I'm sure you are right. As you can imagine Andy, I see myself in that Dad's place.

I panic to near tears just thinking about it.

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#237338 - 07/10/08 08:44 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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Shouldn't it be WHOM??? LOL

Love ya Robbie. \:\)

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#237340 - 07/10/08 09:05 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
dannym Offline
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Originally Posted By: BJK
I don't agree, Rob. I have to question the dad's motives.

My personal belief is that the desire for revenge is the most counter-productive and negative of all human emotions. Enacting revenge does nothing more than perpetuate abuse. A father's first responsibility should be to protect and shelter his son, and that does not involve assaulting the perp.


BJK - I agree that the DESIRE for revenge is counter-productive, but as a father, when you see your child in danger, it is not premeditated or rational, it is a base, animal like reaction that makes you want to protect your baby. I cannot fault the father in this instance... if he had waited until the guy got off work and jumped him, or followed him home, or made threats after the fact - that would be a different story -

Just my two-cents as a dad and a survivor.

Dan

PS, my brother is a police captain, and I remember a few years ago an 80 year old was caught stealing. Everyone recommended he be treated lightly due to his age... my brother said, "A crime is a crime and I will fight for the maximum punishment"... I really respected that!

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#237359 - 07/10/08 10:54 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: dannym]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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So lets all just do what we want out of anger and instinct. It'll be the prehistoric era all over again! Woo!

Unga bunga. LOL

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#237360 - 07/10/08 11:06 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Still Offline
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An acquaintance of mine has a son too. When his son was five, the 15 yo neighbor boy SAed him. The 5 yo told dad.

DAD did the wrong thing. He went next door to the 15 yo's house and pummeled him. My acquaintance went to prison for a couple of years. Even HE says it was right for him to go to prison. HE WAS NOT PROTECTING HIS SON FROM IMMENENT DANGER. I agree. It was a crime in and of itself...and that result is fully required if we are to be a nation built upon values and their laws.

In MANY states in the USA, you have the right to use deadly force to rescue/return a person from immanent danger/harm. Massachusetts is not one of those states.

Quote:
Unga bunga

Does this mean we can wear loin-cloth now?

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#237361 - 07/10/08 11:09 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Still Offline
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Originally Posted By: AndyJB2005
Shouldn't it be WHOM??? LOL


SHIT!!! He's right!!!!

So much for my Massachuestts edukation.

Don't you just love it when young punks point these things out!



Edited by Robbie Brown (07/10/08 11:10 PM)
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#237373 - 07/10/08 11:59 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
mogigo Offline
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Feel like there are bias's in the asnswer's here, but then I was ready and willing to go to jail just a month ago. Stupid emotion's. Feel like now that I have made the right decision, but at the time my feeling's were just plain old stupid and prehistoric, right Andy?

If only I could have been perfect, right Andy, good thing what she told me happened 10 years ago or I wouldn't have been as perfect as you Andy, but then you know what it's like to be given a second chance. Maybe those Father's deserve that too.

It's not about being perfect, it's about what matter's, and my perfect innocent child will trump you're mistake everyday. Yes, you deserve another chance, but expect to pay that price, that's what every person who made a mistake should expect. Expecting that might stop people as innocent and beautiful as my child from losing a lifetime. Know you understand this Andy, now understand it MORE!!!!!

I will go to jail, that's what I felt at the time. I would hope that at least I'm understood and then I will go do my time.

Stay strong Andy, I feel you, care for you and love you. Feel me too Bro

Mike

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#237375 - 07/11/08 12:06 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: mogigo]
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Andy, this is going to suck, but I really want to have a talk with you about prehistoric behavior.

You just rubbed me very very wrong Andy.

Mike

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#237381 - 07/11/08 12:31 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: mogigo]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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Nevermind...nothing I say here matters anyway....so what's the point of saying it...





Edited by AndyJB2005 (07/11/08 01:53 AM)
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#237382 - 07/11/08 12:43 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Still Offline
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I'll hop in here too.

My kids had an incedent yesterday down at the river where they swim. A drunk dude was bothering them but the police were on his ass directly. Had I arrived there 5 minutes earlier to check up on them, he'd have gone face-first off the bridge and I'd probably be in jail.

What Andy is saying here is that knee-jerk reaction can go against public policy (law) and cost both parties dearly.

I identify with the Dad in the news story. My knee-jerk reaction may have been the same. Either way, public policy keeps us all from bashing each other's heads in with rocks when we get pissed.

It may seem unfair, but courts must maintain a basis for civilization. When we choose to pummel a perp, we ought not be surprised when the handcuffs go on US.

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#237405 - 07/11/08 04:55 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
BJK Offline
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Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
It may seem unfair, but courts must maintain a basis for civilization. When we choose to pummel a perp, we ought not be surprised when the handcuffs go on US.


That's exactly my point, and I think it was Andy's too. If we make an allowance for this father, who I feel did more to endanger his son than he did to protect him, then we have to start opening the door for all kinds of allowances. Once this father made his presence known to this perp, his son was protected. Allowing the father to pummel the perp from that point goes against the very reason why society exists in the first place.

The unfortunate aspect in this situation is that the perp is probably going to get a light sentence as well. He'll probably even get his charges dropped since he's already been punished. This does nothing to protect the next four year old who tries to use a bathroom stall next to him, and we have no one to blame but the father who acted without thinking.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237423 - 07/11/08 08:52 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
Still Offline
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Originally Posted By: BJK
Once this father made his presence known to this perp, his son was protected.


I fully agree. Perfect line Bryan.

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#237428 - 07/11/08 09:11 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
dannym Offline
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I'm not making allowances for the father, just saying that I understand his actions. He may not be "right", and he needs to be punished accordingly, but what he did makes sense to me as a father - when your babies are in harms way, you don't give a shit about "right and wrong", you go into fight-or-flight mode... I don't know if either Bryan or Andy are parents, but parents do stupid things all the time to protect their kids - You are all discussing this as rational folks sitting on your butts in front of a computer - if you were in that bathroom with your baby getting diddled, you might have a different take on the situation.

Regardless, the law should be blind to any of this and enforced to protect everyone.

Dan

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#237432 - 07/11/08 09:38 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: dannym]
BJK Offline
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I don't know if having children of our own is even necessarily relevant. My sister thinks it's odd that I won't allow my 9 year old nephew go to a public bathroom by himself. I love him way too much to even put him in a position where something like this may happen. If it was to happen, I can assure you that I would not react violently unless the perp continued to try to harass my nephew.

I guess I just don't understand the need to act violently.
Once the threat is gone, the need for violence is gone. The father in this case pretty much lost all of my sympathy when he acted the way he did, and now my sympathy lies solely with his four year old son who was further traumatized by the actions of his father.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237433 - 07/11/08 09:42 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: dannym]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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I don't have kids of my own, but I have 2 nephews who I love just as much as you love your kids, I'm guessing....

And I know that I wouldn't want them seeing me beat someone to death. Would that tear them up more than anything else a one-time diddle could do? Would they be afraid of me after that? Would they miss me while I spent months or years in jail? Would they learn that it's okay to beat everyone you hate?

The questions go on forever...

And protecting them that way is way more important, to me, than making a pervert pay.


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#237437 - 07/11/08 09:53 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
BJK Offline
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I just want to add that I sincerely hope that nothing that would cause any of you men to act out in such a manner ever happens. You are too good of people to have to endure such additional crap to the crap you've already endured.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237443 - 07/11/08 10:11 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
Interesting line of discussion...

There are, though, I think, several really good points that are being left out.

Was it a coincidence that Mr. Rodriquez was in the stall next to the four year old?

There are certainly statistics that suggest that the "average" perpetrator, when finally caught, often times has well over a hundred victims. And while poor Mr. Rodriquez may have not had any priors, we, most certainly, know that that is not necessarily the best evidence to simply let him walk away.

And, while the incident would certainly be upsetting, I think watching my dad beat the shit out of the guy woulda been cool.

There! You son-of-a-bitch! Do not mess with us. My dad loves me, is willing to go to jail to protect me.

I am not clear on how poor Mr. Rodriquez became the victim in this scenario?

As a father and a grandfather...Mr. Rodriquez would be recovering in ICU. Not back to work. And, more importantly, I understand, unlike poor Mr. Rodriquez, that actions do have consequences. I would fully expect them to be applied in this circumstance.

We might guess that the father's first clue that something was happening, might have been a scream from his four year old son. That would certainly make sense. Would the first thing to come to mind, really be, to calmly "detain" poor Mr. Rodriquez?


CD


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#237455 - 07/11/08 10:29 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
Hauser Offline
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I hope that the father pleads not guilty and takes his chances with the good judgment of a jury. Depending on the state one is on trial with, it often takes only ONE juror to say "not guilty" and you have a hung jury, at which point the prosecutor must once again file charges and ask for a new trial, or the charges are simply dropped. If I am remiss in my assumptions, please correct me. (but be nice because I hate being wrong)

I believe that this is called "Jury Nullification". It's a process that allows a jury to have charges dismissed against anyone, for any reason. It HAS occurred many times recently, some of which were instances such as this, which would be considered a crime of passion or whatever.

As a juror deciding the fate of this father, I would say "not guilty". That's what I would do. But that's just me.

As far as causing trauma to the child to see a father beating someone up, GIVE ME A BREAK. Outbreaks of violence and fights are part of the human experience. There are fights in schoolyards, the workplace, and in bathroom stalls when little boys are being groped by strangers who are caught in the act.

Sure, this boy probably cried and hated seeing such an ugly thing happen, (daddy beating up a stranger), but I guarantee you this, he will remember it, and he will always know that he told, was believed, and his Dad stuck up for him. His Dad may have over-reacted, but at least that little boy was BELIEVED.

There IS a worse scenario to consider in this story, that being that this boy told and his Dad did nothing.


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#237458 - 07/11/08 10:43 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Hauser]
BJK Offline
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I would vote guilty, and I would throw the book at the father. By acting the way he did, he has potentially put many other 4 year olds in danger because of the fact that, as Dave stated, this probably wasn't this guy's first offense. It probably was the first time he was caught, though, and the reaction of the father will probably result in a light sentence. What the perp really needs is psychological evaluation to see if he is capable of offending again, because I guarantee that this won't be the last we'll hear of him.

Revenge is nothing more than the perpetuation of abuse.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237459 - 07/11/08 10:46 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Hauser]
AndyJB2005 Offline
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Ok, go beat up everyone then. Have fun...

I'm out of here...

_________________________
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#237460 - 07/11/08 10:46 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
I don't know though, revenge might be too quick a judgment, you think?

If he had hunted poor Mr. Rodriquez down, removed body parts...that might be revenge. Yea, okay, it would. But to react or to respond the way the father did...hmmm?


CD


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#237463 - 07/11/08 10:55 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: CDavid]
BJK Offline
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Originally Posted By: CDavid
I don't know though, revenge might be too quick a judgment, you think?

If he had hunted poor Mr. Rodriquez down, removed body parts...that might be revenge. Yea, okay, it would. But to react or to respond the way the father did...hmmm?


CD


It's anger mixed with the desire for revenge. It's quite a powerful emotion.

I know last winter when I was first coming to terms with my past, the thought kept entering my mind that my nephew was being exposed to my mother on a regular basis. You might say that it's different, but I digress. Every time I thought of my mother being alone with my nephew, until the point where it was verified that there was no direct sexual contact between them, I felt that split second urge to hurt her.

That urge is the desire for revenge, and I hate it.

But all of that is still dodging the point of what good could possibly come of such a reaction? It causes nothing but harm...harm to other kids who need to be protected. And, no, I am in no way labeling this perp a victim.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237466 - 07/11/08 11:07 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
CDavid Offline


Registered: 07/05/08
Posts: 184
Well, as parents we are charged with the responsibility of informing our children about good touch versus bad touch. As a precaution, we hope. Hoping that they will never have to do anything other than be aware.

It is an awkward balance, to inform without instilling fear. Make aware without makin em paranoid. Nobody really likes paranoid four year olds. I can testify to that, having been one...but, as you say, I digress.

I think revenge is well, the thought, the feeling, the emotion, as you say, can be a healthy thing. We certainly, as responsible adults understand the difference between thinking a thing and acting on it.

Revenge is simply a distortion of the healthy emotion, anger.

Some where in this thread, some one points out or suggests that it would have been...well, hang on...it is too important to paraphrase...I'll be back...

"And I know that I wouldn't want them seeing me beat someone to death. Would that tear them up more than anything else a one-time diddle could do?"

A one time diddle?

I'd like to think, this was a knee-jerk reaction to protect his son. I would react in a similiar way, I am sure.

But, I do understand what yo are saying, Bryan.


CD


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#237467 - 07/11/08 11:08 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Hauser Offline
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Ummmmmmmmmmm.......

All I'm saying is that even though the guy made a mistake, he doesn't deserve to have an assault on his record for what he did. Charge him? Sure, no problem. But, as a juror, I sure as hell wouldn't make him a second victim in this circumstance.

And I DON'T mean to pick apart your words Bryan, but throw the book at him? Seriously? You're talking months in jail and an assault record, and losing his job, all that. Did you REALLY mean that? Does this father deserve THAT? Are you serious? Have you really thought that through? Like I said, I'm not tryinjg to pick apart your words, I JUST DON'T follow your reasoning.

"It probably was the first time he was caught, though, and the reaction of the father will probably result in a light sentence." Huh? Dude, you SO lost me. On what do you base this assumption?

In the scenario that I had presented, the one where the father pleads not guilty, the man IS STILL held to account for his actions, and will more than likely think much longer and harder before acting rashly again. If the father had a history of violence BEFORE his kid got perped, then he wouldn't have a chance winning the sympathy of any of the jury members.

Andy? I REALLY hope I'm not being categorized as someone who advocates violence. PLEASE don't think that. I think my replies were well thought out and reasoned. I sure don't think that.....
well..........my statement stands.


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#237472 - 07/11/08 11:20 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Hauser]
Hauser Offline
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Do my replies REALLY strike any of you as strictly emotionally-based or unreasoned?


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#237479 - 07/11/08 11:56 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Hauser]
BJK Offline
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Well, Hauser, the man is guilty of assault. It's not premeditated, but it is, nonetheless, assault.

And, no...I don't think anyone in this thread has voiced his opinion based on emotion. All of the responses here have been well thought out.

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237485 - 07/11/08 12:34 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: AndyJB2005
Ok, go beat up everyone then. Have fun...

I'm out of here...


Hey, Andy. Please don't think your voice doesn't matter. I know you're triggered by violence, but please know that your voice is heard.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#237491 - 07/11/08 01:15 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Quote:
Ok, go beat up everyone then. Have fun...

I'm out of here...


Andy, No one has said, you're not heard. In fact it's you're posting's more than anyone's that has sparked this debate. Debate is good right, it means that people are actually talking about things that usually do not get talked about.

I didn't end my post to you with "feel you, care for you and love you" because you are irrelevant to me". You just rubbed me the wrong way, this is allowed Andy. It didn't once make me not want to hear what you had to say.

As for the quote Andy, no one said anything about beating up EVERYONE, and I'm pretty sure the Father wasn't having any FUN as his emotion's took over him and he went into a fit of rage. Can't say I know too many that would be having FUN in that state.
Rage in my experience is a very painful state to be in, and the aftermath has been unbarable, to me at least. But from my experience I do understand it.

You are important to this debate Andy, don't you doubt it for one minute. You are not wrong for feeling like you do, you have to expect others to feel differently. That doesn't diminish you're feeling's on the subject.

We are allowed to disagree Andy, that is why you have to continue. I didn't shut you down Andy.

Again Andy, I care for you, feel you and love you.

I do not lie, here anyway \:\)

Stay strong Andy, you matter
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#237494 - 07/11/08 01:33 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: mogigo]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6376
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I REALLY wish I had never posted this.

We are all in the same P.O.W. camp and are now taking-up segregations based upon secondary issues. That kills me.


_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#237498 - 07/11/08 01:40 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
I'm not so sure if this is true Rob, I think it's survivor issues of self-worth that are rearing their ugly heads.

I think it's just another issue of peace and serenity that you're feeling right now Rob,

We are ALLOWED TO DISSAGREE people

pretty one-tracked community if we don't, yawn.

I want to feel real, feel like we haven't allowed that lately.

Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#237500 - 07/11/08 01:49 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
I REALLY wish I had never posted this.

We are all in the same P.O.W. camp and are now taking-up segregations based upon secondary issues. That kills me.


Rob,

I'm glad you posted it. I don't see anyone here being disrespctful. In fact, I think this was a positive dicussion.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#237506 - 07/11/08 02:18 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: mogigo]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
For something that isn't fun and admired, according to different people, violence is sure talked about a lot on this website.

Sometimes I feel we get off on it, like the mob surrounding a fight.

KICK HIS A**! YEAH! YEAH! I hope he dies! Burn in hell!

Am I crazy here?

And it triggers me to death -- all of it...it makes me hurt. But it's the one trigger that we're (I'm) supposed to put up with here at MS, because if I don't, if I speak out against it, if I say it hurts me, I'm not "understanding."



_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#237508 - 07/11/08 02:30 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I'm trying my hardest to be understanding here, and at the same time say how I feel honestly. I'm not the greatest at doing that. Forgive me if I've pissed anyone off.

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#237511 - 07/11/08 02:44 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Andy,

I agree with you. Violence isn't an answer. It just further aggrevates problems. I really don't think you've pissed anyone off, either. I think there was just somewhat of a misunderstanding between you and Mike.

I'm sorry you're being hurt, but please believe me when I say that I understand.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#237513 - 07/11/08 02:47 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: AndyJB2005]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Andy, I don't enjoy anything about it, in fact I've never been in more pain than after I've gone into a rage, I've never felt like less of person than after I let those issues overcome me. My point was only to say I understand how people reach that point, and afterwards have so much regret that it got to there.

It felt like I was being assaulted myself when I lost it, and then when I lashed back I was told that I was in the wrong. The responsibility lies with person that hurt me to begin with. I don't have a hair trigger, in fact I can cite maybe once or twice that I got that angry in my entire life. And it took alot to ever make me feel like I had to stand up for myself and become a fight, rather than a flight.

I'm sorry too Andy, I never meant to trigger you or make you upset. I guess when two of us gets triggered it makes for a nasty fight. My trigger is being helpless to evil people, I just can't take that anymore. Thinking about someone assaulting my daughter makes me feel helpless. And I automatically take the fight stance, because with myself I didn't take fight or flight, I took dissociation and that turned into my life. I just don't want that for anyone anymore. Fight seems to make sense in some circumstances. It's not about enjoying it or liking it, to me it's about what will hurt less.

Nothing to forgive you for Andy, just a silly difference of opinion. Like I said "that's allowed"

Be strong Andy
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#237525 - 07/11/08 03:38 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: mogigo]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Also, just for the record, my views are from someone who does have a hair trigger as a result of DID. I flip out, I lose it, I don't remember losing it, but at some point in my life, I had to start taking responsibility for that kind of thing.

I think I have that part of me under control, but if I was the father in this case, I would expect to be punished.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#237543 - 07/11/08 06:20 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6376
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I hesitate to do this...but here's an update.

The 71 yo is not gonna be charged with anything. Apparently there's no evidence of any crime.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#237595 - 07/11/08 10:34 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
I hesitate to do this...but here's an update.

The 71 yo is not gonna be charged with anything. Apparently there's no evidence of any crime.


And let me guess, there's plenty of evidence to convict the father!!!

_________________________
My Story

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#237600 - 07/11/08 11:05 PM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: Still]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
I hesitate to do this...but here's an update.

The 71 yo is not gonna be charged with anything. Apparently there's no evidence of any crime.


I had a feeling this was going to happen mostly because I wasn't convinced that we had heard the whole story. I really hate to say it, but it sounds like we have the word of the father against the word of the alleged perp.

What does the boy have to say about this whole thing? A better question is, is anyone going to take him to see a therapist? It sounds like he's going to need one.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#237638 - 07/12/08 08:43 AM Re: Arrest WHO??? [Re: BJK]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Im sorry for making this thread a 3-ring circus. I guess I was triggered and could have said things better, i think. I hope I havent lost friends. \:\(

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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