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#236693 - 07/07/08 11:41 PM HASMAT
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
HASMAT

So here I am scrubbing away
holding in air....running to the window
to do more breathing ..gulp down more air
to come back to the spot just cleaned
the returning sludge already shrinking the perimeter of my tiny accomplishment

So here I am, my eyes burning
the toxins eating holes in my gloves
as I look for new dump sites
to dispose of the noxious residue of uncaring like sticky venom
corroding and contaminating all it touches

Vertigo nausea interrupting the work
stomach doing somersaults on a nightmare carousel
that spins too fast... the lunging rabid horses
racing to warped circus music round and round
in desperate circles of no escape

This is my mind
My life
My mess....
My mess?
yes
that you made
does this please you?
Gloat
You're getting your revenge....
for...
what was it now?
My weakness?
My vulnerability?

How egregious
You must have been livid
How dare I provide revealing contrast
to your necrotic mockery
your dead tissue disregard

But you know what?...
You haven't seen anything yet
I am becoming a living antidote
to your malignant tumor existence
and my mess will become your tomb
polished and immaculate
R. I. P. shithead

_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#236695 - 07/07/08 11:46 PM Re: HASMAT [Re: blueshift]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
thanks for sharing that

thanks for letting me read what you wrote

Take care

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#236715 - 07/08/08 02:14 AM Re: HASMAT [Re: michael Joseph]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
thanx

_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#236730 - 07/08/08 06:53 AM Re: HASMAT [Re: blueshift]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Originally Posted By: blueshift
Gloat
You're getting your revenge....
for...
what was it now?
My weakness?
My vulnerability?

That's so it, Blueshift. No boy deserves this and it's important that he bear this in mind, whenever it is that he begins his healing journey. He was abused not because he deserved it, but because he was vulnerable - as any boy is.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#236790 - 07/08/08 01:06 PM Re: HASMAT [Re: roadrunner]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Yeah, I think it even applies to perp #2 as well. I might have been an adult then, but I was still unarmed and in my underwear in my own home, not expecting intruders, so I was still in a position of being weak and vulnerable.

_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#236808 - 07/08/08 02:46 PM Re: HASMAT [Re: blueshift]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Absolutely. I think it's important to bear in mind that abuse is all about misuse of power. An intruder has power over his victim, an expert aggressive manipulator has power over his more reserved acquaintance. Even in cases where for legal reasons there can be no prosecution, that doesn't mean that the contact was any less wrong, or less abusive.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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