Dear Mitts, My Husband was abused by his older brother also. I was the first person to know. It was really hard to keep my mouth shut. We had small kids at the time, and I was like a crazy person, everytime my daughter was near him I would rush over and grab her. If he called her over, I called her away. He would ask to hold my son, I said no. My husband was pissed at me for that, and I think his brother kinda got the hint that I KNEW. His sisters asked what was up with that,and I told them I did not like him( which was true,long before I knew,I thought he ws a nasty arrogant condesending,well you get the point)and they were my kids.
After he told everyone else, they were not really supportive of my H,after all he was their brother,my H wanted to continue to try to work it out, any way at one family gathering, this jerk walks into the kitchen with his smug superior attitude, walks up to my baby(being held by a brother-in-law) and goes to take him.(No one else had a problem with him handling their babies, they didn't think he was a threat) I Screamed, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH" talk about silencing a room. He told me I needed to shut my mouth, I proceeded to tell him to go to hell,and other things. Needless to say, no one was on my side, so I packed my kids and left.
We have not seen his family in 13 years. We had to do what's best for our kids, and I no longer trusted any of them. Sorry I didn't really give you any advice, NY DAISY