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#23610 - 08/01/05 04:09 AM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3354
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Leosha,

Glad you were able to walk away from that situation safely

From what I read here I really don't think that you 'ran in looking for a fight' - I think you had that girls safety foremost in your mind

I can understand that your girlfreind was scared you'd get hurt - and I think that she's bringing up stuff from the past in hopes that it'll keep you from doing it again

Bottom line though is that you made a gut (instinctive) choice in the spurr of the moment - one that you felt was right at that moment based upon what you seen happening in front of you

I'm gonna guess that you did'nt see any weapons - and that probably made it a bit easier in your mind to intervene - I would hope that if you did see weapons that you would'nt go running in...

if your girlfreind keeps giving you a rough time about this incident - just ask her what she would of wanted you to do if that girl in that situation would have been her...

What if??? - that's a question that'll only drive you crazy - stop asking yourself that question - I am sure that you did what you felt was right...

I know I was'nt there to see the whole picture of exactly what was happening - but from what I've read - I'd of probably of been there right along side of you had I been there...

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#23611 - 08/01/05 04:35 AM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Leosha , as you know, I grew up with violence. As a child I took it and also started running away from it. Trouble was I could not hide. As a 14 year old I got really tough and used to take delight in hurting other people. When I was raped and physically beaten I sort of relished it. Then as an 18 year old prostitute I would come close to killing anyone on my territory and yet I would sell myself to sickos who wanted to beat the crap out of someone while getting their rocks off. As a street fighter I can tell you that there is no safe answer to your question. As others have said you just do not know who or what you are facing and what if anything they have as a weapon. I can appreciate your goal to help a lady in distress but you put yourself and VN at risk. I commend you for taking a stand but I caution against a repeat.

Now I do have some advice if you do get into a fight. It should only last for about 1-3 seconds with you the winner. If someone says they are going to kick the shit out of you or pound you into a pulp do something that will totally freak them out and surprise them. Move in and spit in their face. The dont expect it and will react by moving away and their hand move to clean their face . When this happens step in and knee them really hard in the family jewels and that will cause them to double over. You help them with this by grabbing the back of their head and crashing their nose into your knee. Nobody and I mean nobody will fight with a broken nose. If this does not work run like hell.

If they are bigger than you grab a stick or bat and swing for the knees . Nobody can catch you with a broken knee cap. If you swing for the head you can either kill them or they can grab the weapon with their own hands and use it on you.

Remember when dealing with a drunk or sicko use the element of surprise to gain the advantage and end the fight before it starts. And always, and I mean always, be prepared to run like hell. That is not being a coward but certainly prudent.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#23612 - 08/01/05 07:18 AM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
It's all been said.

I'm glad you're safe, I'm glad the girl's safe.
Sorry, you've taken some heat on this one.

I think that a picture phone is good, and good legs for running until the police arrive.

Anything short of an Uzi, is futile these days, but then I would have swept the street and killed them, the girl and you guys, too.

So, I'm totally unreliable in these situations. I've always been known to over reacting in these situations.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#23613 - 08/01/05 07:21 AM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Mikey, Mikey, Mikey!
Whatever happened to talking your way out of situations. The situation Leosha encountered will probably only happen once in a lifetime. These days if you do what you suggested you might very well end up with an assault charge against you and perhaps even a civil suit.
As I've got older, and realized that with increasing age I couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag, I found that my ability to stay out of trouble greatly increased.
Everyone stay safe. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#23614 - 08/01/05 11:11 AM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
sabooka Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 209
Loc: I would like to know also
A little story.

My first Kung-Fu teacher gave me this lesson.

The first movement I learnt was putting my hand in my back pocket and slowly pulling out my wallet. Then I would proceed to throw it away and run as fast as I could in the other direction.

This is the best movement of self defence. Everything else I have learnt is for when this manouver does not work.

Jonathan

_________________________
My happiness is not dependant on other people's misery.

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#23615 - 08/01/05 12:16 PM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Mike, do I ever feel like doing that?
So many times, when ppl pick on me as a soft touch, I only have to look at them and they go and hide.

I think they somehow sense the danger they are in, cos I can have a real mean look about me, and believe me, I hate doing it.

I do not let anger control me, because I had to use it too many times in the past to protect me, but it is still there if they need it,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#23616 - 08/01/05 02:50 PM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
Craig Mat Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/10/05
Posts: 34
Loc: Barrie, Ont, Canada
I think your going to the aid of the lady was very chivalrous and as mentioned possibilby very danagerous. A better attack may have been to make sure that they new you were there while staying back a safe distance, letting them know the police are coming and staying there in case you are needed. That way they now know that they are not so private anymore. The vast majorty of them once they fine out that someone else is there to come to the aid of the lady if needed & that the police are coming will back off and normaly leave quickly with there tails tucked between there legs.

I was forced out on the street at a early age. I learned how to take a big man down in short order not always with out pain to myself. I also created alot of pain on others in order to survive on the street, also with the gang of so called friends I would run with. Normaly if one of the gang was on the prowl there were others very close in case they got in trouble, and believe me they WILL do what ever it takes for the pack to survive. Later the Military taught me how to Kill from a distance and up close and personel.

Getting into any type of confrontation SCARES THE HELL out of me I have come so close to very serious hurting some others it worries me that the RAGE inside of me will take over and I will lose total control. I have hurt enough people in my life including myself I need to stop the pain.

As good as it was that you went to the aid of the Lady please be carefull, it only takes less then a seconed to be knifed or shot.

Craig


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#23617 - 08/01/05 10:04 PM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I just wanted to thank everyone for the insights here. This is a post, a situation, that I think I truly did need to hear more from people then usual, and I am most greatful that you all posted here. The comments here, as well as further talks with my girlfriend and the other friend involved in this, helped me to see that I DID act to quickly, without thinking, and that there were better choices available to me. I did not think I would reverse my position on that 'it was just instinct and reflex' but I have. It is something I had not mentioned last week to my therapist, and this week I shall. Again, thank you for the kind words and comments, and the honesty. I value it greatly.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#23618 - 08/01/05 10:58 PM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Leosha, I always remember getting off a bus, so late at night and walking through a shopping mall.

The place was an open area, and two guys sat in the doorway of a shop.

I sussed them, and was wary, then they start to go for me and my best friend.

We started to run but we got split up with one guy running after my friend, the guy who ran after me, I stopped and turned around and I say to him, what you gonna do punk?

I should have just waded in and said nothing, and pretend to him that I was frightened, but I scared him off, and you never see anyone run so fast.

When I confront him, I check that he did not reach for any weapon, and he did, he pulled out a bl*de,so I said what are you gonna do!

I always have a plan in my mind on how to take somebody out, and I am glad I never had to use it, because I dont want to.

I should have taught him a lesson he will never forget, for others, and not myself, and maybe this is the mindset you used.

Maybe he chooses not to do these things any more, I dunno, but even if they do not frighten me, then who do they also pick on.

I should have taught him a lesson, one he never forget, and it hurts that I never did, I just hope I frighten him to not do it to others.

But always know danger, and it is not always obvious, and any weapon pulled on you, then you have to disarm the goon.

To me, if anyone tries to use a weapon on me for no apparent reason, then they best beware, because I my mind cannot take it in, and beware of the consequences.

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#23619 - 08/02/05 12:09 AM Re: The avengers (is probable minor triggers)
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
In reply to Andrew on this theme. There may come a time when a fight is inevitable. When that happens surprise is always the best plan.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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