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#234344 - 06/28/08 06:51 PM Re: For those Angry at God [Re: MarkK]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Rob and Mark:

Maybe we could create a subforum for those of us with issues from religious abuse. A number of us talk about ***triggers*** and religion, spirituality, and faith can be a trigger both ways. Both sides can get hurt from the fervent beliefs of the other side of the coin.

I realize that across society as a whole only 10% to 15% of us fall into the non-religious category. Yet this site should be a productive venue for all of us afflicted with the primary topic. Would it help to provide some seperation of the two parties? You will have your spiritual support and those of us with issues will have somewhere to go for our own spiritual issues and needs?

I am not trying to push my views on religion on anyone or attack anyone's long-held convictions. But at the same time you have to realize where I (and others) are coming from. I am not trying to offend you guys either.

I have always been an urban trucker with liberal politics. It would not be unusual, given where I am from or where I have been. Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, New York City and Boston, was my life for so many years. I was just trying to gain some trust with and offer some support to a couple of other people who seemed to be looking down the same road that I have been down. I wasn't out to hurt you guys or ridicule your beliefs.

Lets think about a separate way to support those with separate spiritual needs equally. Lets refrain from feeling hurt over each other's long-held beliefs. The main reason that we are here are our CSA issues.

Just want to let you know that I consider both of you guys my friends.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#234352 - 06/28/08 07:25 PM Re: For those Angry at God [Re: Trucker51]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
You guys check out Tom (Muldoon's) public disclosure in a mid-sized urban daily newspaper? How many of you managed to get over there and offer your support? We will just call it my 200th post. There is a link to the newspaper's website in his topic about a lack of men's groups from a few days ago.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#234355 - 06/28/08 07:29 PM Re: For those Angry at God [Re: Trucker51]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: Trucker51

I am not trying to push my views on religion on anyone or attack anyone's long-held convictions. But at the same time you have to realize where I (and others) are coming from. I am not trying to offend you guys either.


On this point I fully agree that ideals and bleifs ought not be pushed on others. However that principal needs to be observed by ALL people on ALL topics uniformly (Gay, Conservative, Liberal, Hillary/Obama, Mary-Ann/Ginger)...and I don't think that's possible.

I must also point out too that I was a total mess of a kid at 14. I was doing it for cash or just cuz. I was an angry snarling mess (I know....so what else is new). But I was led to salvation by this one hippie street evangelist who would not give up on me...even when I though he just wanted sex. So I don't want to deny others that same saving message that I received.

Quote:
I wasn't out to hurt you guys or ridicule your beliefs.


Dude...I know that! All is well \:\)

Quote:
Lets think about a separate way to support those with separate spiritual needs equally. Lets refrain from feeling hurt over each other's long-held beliefs. The main reason that we are here are our CSA issues.


AMEN to THAT!!!

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#234844 - 07/01/08 02:48 AM Re: For those Angry at God [Re: Still]
genXpoetsurvivor Offline


Registered: 07/01/08
Posts: 8
I'm not angry at God, but that might be because I developed a new way of believing in God. I'm not Christian, but I do not hate Christianity or even the way Christians believe in God. However, I think sometimes that my Dad may have used Christian language when sexually abusing me. Like eat this body, drink this blood, sort of thing regarding his abuse. So, growing up with my Mom taking me to church, everytime I ate Communion, somewhere in my memory or mind I was reliving what happened with my Dad.

This is one reason I don't call him my father.

I'll look into Christianity again although I'm very happy being a Gaian. I also read those Toltec wisdom books. I do, however, want to get the truth behind the teachings of Jesus and Communion, and all of that. Even if I don't become Christian.

Wait! I am angry at what I consider to be the Masculine side or Father side of God. I mostly worship Her, the Feminine side of God, but secretly resent even use of the word Father for God. This is out of balance. This is not working. I just got to keep distinguishing the difference between my Dad, a mortal human perpetrator, etc., with God the Father, immortal and love.


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#235114 - 07/01/08 10:42 PM Re: For those Angry at God [Re: genXpoetsurvivor]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 856
Loc: washington
How I feel,

First of all, I would like to say, I read this string from start to finish. I have many several dissorders. This may not be a complete list, as more will be revealed. You already know the first one,second i am a recovering alcoholic, I have O.C.D. and let's tie in some inherited deppression,with a bow, just to make the package more appealing.

I belong to a fellowship to which i owe my life.(A.A.) It has saved my life,and I know no other way. Bonus info, I got all spun out yesterday,which in a nutshell has to do with disclosure (when to reveal my sexual self in relationships)That said: it's,One day at a time,stay in the moment(to the best of my ability)No future tripping and No Backtracking...That's how I roll.

So I find myself in a (let's face it)christian organization, and i Don't do organized religion, and yet there is no conflict.Let me explain,I should probably trancend past the hypocracsy I see in organized religion,i.e. How SOME people treat other people in organized religion,certain beliefs of mine, I believe their are a number of people,who are born gay(I have a huge resentment about that).

That said where do we go from here,my first question to myself is:Do I believe in a power greater than myself? Answer: Well, yes I do,through much soul searching I believe in a POWER,A SOURCE,A supreme something,mother nature,or father time,
GOD,Heavenly father,or any other label,i.e.(give me any other religion).It all works for me.

For me it's not about the label (A rose by any other name, does it not smell as sweet) In the end, all I need to know is their IS a higher power, and it is not ME.

In the physical world, if I need proof, I try to wrap my mind around a black hole, or better yet,that entity that control's all the black holes.Let's expand, all physical matter and the powers that govern..i.e.gravity,time...ect...

when i told someone(in the program)my black hole concept...They pointed out that black holes are so powerfull,that they swallow light.

Now, I'm sure you all know that many peoples concept's involve light.And this was pointed out to me... My reply was simply this,if your on the other side of the black hole...your going to need a strong a*s set of sunglasses.

O.K. lets dive into the non-physical side...I could talk on this subject FORE-EVER.

So, ...Let's just tell a personal story. MY dad has E.S.P. (I believe I also,i was feeling, before, said events, occured...this power was taken from me).Whenever my dad said, "Thats mom on the phone." I could pick up the phone and say, "Hi Grandma."
He was never wrong,and we didn't need caller I.D.(not that it was available then)

So,now that I've established that I am a "Believer",let's get back to the subject:Why did you let this happen to me?

The best that I can come up with, is that there are forces of good and evil,and these forces are allowed to exist in order to maintain, some form of, "PERVERTED",balance.

In the end, I believe, their will be a judgement day,and everyone will be held accountable for their actions...The good,and the evil will be separated through some type of distillation process. Off topic :(No alcohol for for me thank you).

Furthermore, I believe my justice has been already been served,my perp is already dead.(My councilor advised me at the time, that, I had the power to talk to him,or not...I let him die, ( in shame).

The fallout: I need to accept,that i am mentally ill, and that my maturity has been somewhat disrupted.

What a difference a day makes,yesterday I had a psychotic episode(i spun HARD).
Thankfully, my sponsor, and my grand sponsor saved me and pulled me back from oblivion,thet pulled me back into the liferaft,and we went the other direction back towards the light.

The difference is this: Yesterday it was a kind of,Welcome to the monkey house,and add a bag of CRAZY,sort of days.

And today,i am filled with a type of SERENITY,as i got a,asiatsu (oriental style) overbar type of massage therapy.(She stands on my back and massages me with her feet). Question:How deep? Answer:Bottom of the ocean.

This is just a guess,but I believe (And I have to clarify,she is a proffesional,no hanky panky) when two souls make a perfect union, (the re-oriention of the soul) Healing is at it's highest form.I only wish,I had enough money to get more messages.

Also I forgot to note, due to the lack of services on this island, I believe, I have found someone who can help me,it is not well known,but due to my extensive reading, there is an exception to having a same sex sponsor.(You have to justify why you need this relationship...and it can't be sexual).That's right, I'm pulling the trump card. ANYONE THAT WAS ABUSED AS A CHILD. And even though I haven't contacted her. I believe, I have found someone that can help.

TEARS OF JOY, Their is Hope.

1islandboy

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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